Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "A Kazuzu Moon"Murder Mystery
49 total reviews
Comment from donkeyoatey
The plot thickens..and we certainly wouldn't want you to have slander issues (although, I am sure it would be fine, many people have the same names!) I enjoy mysteries, and I think this is shaping up not only to be interesting, but to becoming quite convoluted! Donkeyoatey
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2013
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The plot thickens..and we certainly wouldn't want you to have slander issues (although, I am sure it would be fine, many people have the same names!) I enjoy mysteries, and I think this is shaping up not only to be interesting, but to becoming quite convoluted! Donkeyoatey
Comment Written 05-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2013
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Thanks for the great review, Donkeyoatey. I've always been a fan of Agatha Christie, the mistress of convolution to my mind LOL. Appreciate your stopping by.
Bev
Comment from Adri7enne
Suddenly, I find you have many characters I don't remember. I went over the list. It can get confusing when you get a story a chapter now and another maybe a week later. It's not an easy way to get involved in a story.
You continue to weave the threads of your plot, though, Bev. So, the FBI is on the case, acting as liason because the second body was on the reservation. Good developments, Bev. Write on!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2013
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Suddenly, I find you have many characters I don't remember. I went over the list. It can get confusing when you get a story a chapter now and another maybe a week later. It's not an easy way to get involved in a story.
You continue to weave the threads of your plot, though, Bev. So, the FBI is on the case, acting as liason because the second body was on the reservation. Good developments, Bev. Write on!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2013
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Thanks for the great review, Adrienne. I appreciate your generosity and encouragement.
:0) Bev
Comment from Connie C
As usual, Bev, your use of dialogue is excellent. I know I always say that, but it's true! The dialogue helps me to see the characters clearly. At least I think I see them clearly. I like Jana's response as to why the feds are involved in the case--seemed to make good sense to me. The very ending, those last four lines, had me wondering just what Skeets is up to. Guess I'll have to wait until the next chapter. I was pretty engrossed in what I was reading, so I didn't look as closely for spags, but if there was anything too obvious, I think I would have noticed. Great job, as always, my friend. I wish I hadn't used up all my sixers this week; you would get one for sure.
Hugs,
Connie
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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As usual, Bev, your use of dialogue is excellent. I know I always say that, but it's true! The dialogue helps me to see the characters clearly. At least I think I see them clearly. I like Jana's response as to why the feds are involved in the case--seemed to make good sense to me. The very ending, those last four lines, had me wondering just what Skeets is up to. Guess I'll have to wait until the next chapter. I was pretty engrossed in what I was reading, so I didn't look as closely for spags, but if there was anything too obvious, I think I would have noticed. Great job, as always, my friend. I wish I hadn't used up all my sixers this week; you would get one for sure.
Hugs,
Connie
Comment Written 05-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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Connie, thank you so much for your very generous review. It's great for me to know you're still finding the tale intersting. And I appreciate your insights. Most of the spaggies were taken care of in my earlier reviews, thank heavens for sharp reviewers who care. Thanks, too, for the wish of a six, my friend. Your support is worth gold to me, I hope you know.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from amahra
Crime fiction is one book I would have never bought, because didn't think I'd like it. But I find this story very interesting. I like the realization of the FBI and Sheriff bumping heads and not trusting each other. I'm aware they do that in real life. I like your attention to details, the little things your character's do. And the dialogue is so sophisticated.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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Crime fiction is one book I would have never bought, because didn't think I'd like it. But I find this story very interesting. I like the realization of the FBI and Sheriff bumping heads and not trusting each other. I'm aware they do that in real life. I like your attention to details, the little things your character's do. And the dialogue is so sophisticated.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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Thanks so much for this awesome review, amahra. Your insights and encouragement mean a lot to me. I really appreciate you taking time to read and review. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from DALLAS01
Excellent form in setting up friction and fear of infringement on the part of the sheriffs department. Loved the interplay of all of those characters. Little left to doubt.
Skeets nibbled at an energy bar and bore a sour look on his face.
How about nibbled at an energy bar, wearing a sour look on his face.
Wasn't sure if that was a type error or not.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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Excellent form in setting up friction and fear of infringement on the part of the sheriffs department. Loved the interplay of all of those characters. Little left to doubt.
Skeets nibbled at an energy bar and bore a sour look on his face.
How about nibbled at an energy bar, wearing a sour look on his face.
Wasn't sure if that was a type error or not.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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Hi, Dallas. Thank you for your awesomely generous and encouraging review. I always get a pretty extensive review from JM Silva and he gets on me all the time for using passive voice. I think, maybe, that change would make it a passive voice. But I think I can lose the nibbled (at)...
Thanks for your insights and helpful suggestions, my friend.
:0) Bev
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oh, you are right. passive is also nemesis.
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I'm finally getting used to recognizing it when I'm tempted to write that way. Like I say, JM has been really good about calling me out on that.
Take care,
Bev
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I have a friend in my writing group, he is an investigative reporter and he usually catches me.
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Oh boy, would I love to poke around inside that guy's head LOL.
Comment from Rondeno
Brilliant, Bev! The tension between the locals and the feds is beautifully developed - and your dialogue is to die for! More, please!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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Brilliant, Bev! The tension between the locals and the feds is beautifully developed - and your dialogue is to die for! More, please!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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Thanks, buddy. You make me smile with this great review. XXX Bev
Comment from Joan E.
I always enjoy your exotic chapter headings--"knockdown"--I'm learning Sioux too! lol Thanks for the note about the name change to protect the innocent. "Dred" is quite a handle as well! The "fancy show dogs" analogy is a good match. As usual your vivid descriptions and realistic dialog made us feel part of the scene. It is a clever device that you had Jana become the liaison between the two departments. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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I always enjoy your exotic chapter headings--"knockdown"--I'm learning Sioux too! lol Thanks for the note about the name change to protect the innocent. "Dred" is quite a handle as well! The "fancy show dogs" analogy is a good match. As usual your vivid descriptions and realistic dialog made us feel part of the scene. It is a clever device that you had Jana become the liaison between the two departments. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 05-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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Joan, thank you very much for this wonderfully generous and supportive review. I so appreciate your encouragement and loyalty. Thanks, also, for noting the situation with Jana. It will test her loyalties a bit.
Hugs, Bev
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I knew you had something special in mind for Jana. I look forward to this captivating, continuing saga. More cheers- Joan
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I appreciate you, Joan! :0)
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The appreciation is mutual! Hip, hip, hooray!! -Joan
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hehehehe
Comment from Cornelius2000
I've ducked in late on this novel, but had read one or more chapters earlier. I found this one most interesting, with the interaction between the local police and the feds. Your dialogue writing is excellent, and the story moves and reads well.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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I've ducked in late on this novel, but had read one or more chapters earlier. I found this one most interesting, with the interaction between the local police and the feds. Your dialogue writing is excellent, and the story moves and reads well.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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Hi, Dave. Thanks so much for reading this latest chapter. I appreciate your generosity and insights. Always good to hear from you! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Righteous Riter
The writer does good job of grabbing the readers attention from the start. The writer transitions the events well as this chapter has good balance. The pace is steady and gets intense as the reader reads on. I see nothing that I would change in this chapter as I would recommend this to other readers.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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The writer does good job of grabbing the readers attention from the start. The writer transitions the events well as this chapter has good balance. The pace is steady and gets intense as the reader reads on. I see nothing that I would change in this chapter as I would recommend this to other readers.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much, Righteous Riter. I sure appreciate your gracious and generous review! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from God's Writer
I know I have missed many chapters of your book. I have been way too busy writing down the words that god had given me to write. I have written three books of top quality poems in the last six weeks and still more come out. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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I know I have missed many chapters of your book. I have been way too busy writing down the words that god had given me to write. I have written three books of top quality poems in the last six weeks and still more come out. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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Thank you for stopping by, God's Writer. Given your writing schedule, I'm especially appreciative of your generous review.
Warm regards, Bev
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I am still your brother, AKA Erick, Happy Poet and now God's writer.
Shalom,
Erick
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Hey, Erick. I like your new 'moniker'. Well, double thanks my friend. xxx Bev