The dragon Mareng
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Mareng's first days at school"Mareng growing up and all kinds
22 total reviews
Comment from Torrence Winter
The words seem a bit choppy and forced. As if having trouble springing to the forefront. When using text there is no need for a colon. : To mark out your speech.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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The words seem a bit choppy and forced. As if having trouble springing to the forefront. When using text there is no need for a colon. : To mark out your speech.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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Thanks so much for your kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine
Comment from Chris Tee
Yes it is nice but before you publish you will have to get an editor Ine old sport.
If this is a kiddies story I suggest you make your paragraphs a wee bit shorter the penultimate one is to long and will degenerate the young readers interest.
Well done with the story line which is perfect for kids to read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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Yes it is nice but before you publish you will have to get an editor Ine old sport.
If this is a kiddies story I suggest you make your paragraphs a wee bit shorter the penultimate one is to long and will degenerate the young readers interest.
Well done with the story line which is perfect for kids to read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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Thanks so much for your kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine.
You are the second to say that. Will look into that.
