A Serendipitous Meeting
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Serendipitous Chapter 2 A"Traditional in a modern world..
33 total reviews
Comment from jmdg1954
After only two days, and Rebeka, a girl with strict upbringing has opened up to Tyler. I guess that happens in romance novels?
Not so much in real life.
I'll go with the flow...
This is soft and sweet.
A good chapter,
John
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2025
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After only two days, and Rebeka, a girl with strict upbringing has opened up to Tyler. I guess that happens in romance novels?
Not so much in real life.
I'll go with the flow...
This is soft and sweet.
A good chapter,
John
Comment Written 23-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2025
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I don't think Rebeka really had a choice but to share what's going on. Tyler would have kept after her. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very nicely written. My only surprise is that with no more experience than she has she write romance novels. Does she get her vocabulary for the genre from reading others?
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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Very nicely written. My only surprise is that with no more experience than she has she write romance novels. Does she get her vocabulary for the genre from reading others?
Best wishes.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from DeboraDyess
Yikes! That's a way to begin a new chapter! lol I think you missed the opportunity to insert some emotions here, though. If a strange man opened my bathroom door while I was naked, I'd scream or fall backward or, hopefully, take a swing at him. And Tyler has to be thinking about this interaction. What does he feel? How many things does he feel? (Lots, I would suppose). Give the reader some insight on their thoughts. Him showering and dressings, then going to make coffee without any clue of his brain waves is kind of a letdown. Kind of. I know you pick it up again but it just seemed like a wasted opportunity to me.
~ plate full of ?? a plate full of
~ author of year award >> Author of THE Year award
~ "I'm a doctor that's what I do." >> Needs some sort of punctuation between the two clauses, a period or semi.
~
The description Rebekah's friend gives of Tyler's appearance seems a bit stiff. Read it aloud and see where you can make it a bit more, I don't know... Goofy - like a smitten woman talking about a celebrity. I'd add things like, "Oh my gosh! Those saphire blue eyes! They... " Stuff like that. Hope this helps and doesn't sound too critical. I'm loving the story!
Blessings,
deb
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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Yikes! That's a way to begin a new chapter! lol I think you missed the opportunity to insert some emotions here, though. If a strange man opened my bathroom door while I was naked, I'd scream or fall backward or, hopefully, take a swing at him. And Tyler has to be thinking about this interaction. What does he feel? How many things does he feel? (Lots, I would suppose). Give the reader some insight on their thoughts. Him showering and dressings, then going to make coffee without any clue of his brain waves is kind of a letdown. Kind of. I know you pick it up again but it just seemed like a wasted opportunity to me.
~ plate full of ?? a plate full of
~ author of year award >> Author of THE Year award
~ "I'm a doctor that's what I do." >> Needs some sort of punctuation between the two clauses, a period or semi.
~
The description Rebekah's friend gives of Tyler's appearance seems a bit stiff. Read it aloud and see where you can make it a bit more, I don't know... Goofy - like a smitten woman talking about a celebrity. I'd add things like, "Oh my gosh! Those saphire blue eyes! They... " Stuff like that. Hope this helps and doesn't sound too critical. I'm loving the story!
Blessings,
deb
Comment Written 23-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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I made the corrections, and I'll consider adding more emotions. I'm pretty sure, Rebeka would be too embarrassed to do or say anything. Her way of handling problems is to ignore them. That theme will continue. Thank you for the help. I appreciate it.
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I guess , as tightly reined in as she's always had to be, that's true. I didn't think it through. lol. FIRST TIME EVER... 🙄
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, well, this is written and edited nicely. And it follows the author's usual tried and tested formula. There are no surprises. Even their talk and Rebeka's story, what happened, her lack of experience, conservative upbringing and the possible rape, is what the readers expects, as is Tyler's interests and reactions. I'm not trying to be critical or dismissive, but... sometimes it is best to leave a well-known path. Especially, when writing multiple novels.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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Hmm, well, this is written and edited nicely. And it follows the author's usual tried and tested formula. There are no surprises. Even their talk and Rebeka's story, what happened, her lack of experience, conservative upbringing and the possible rape, is what the readers expects, as is Tyler's interests and reactions. I'm not trying to be critical or dismissive, but... sometimes it is best to leave a well-known path. Especially, when writing multiple novels.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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I find your review very interesting. I had some reviews stating they never expected this, and they were surprised. Hmm. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
"normally don't go passed the eight grade" -- should be past eighth grade
Richard is her insurance agent? You say "he's my agent" after speaking of him.
I guess Tyler didn't hear anything he hasn't already from Amber.
I have a feeling Rebeka is going to become fierce as this story progresses.
Thanks for the share, Barbara.
xo
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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"normally don't go passed the eight grade" -- should be past eighth grade
Richard is her insurance agent? You say "he's my agent" after speaking of him.
I guess Tyler didn't hear anything he hasn't already from Amber.
I have a feeling Rebeka is going to become fierce as this story progresses.
Thanks for the share, Barbara.
xo
Comment Written 23-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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Her publishing agent. He's a go between her and the agent publisher.
I have made the correction. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. Interestingly, Tyler heard the conversation between the two women. I look forward to the next part. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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This is another excellent chapter. Interestingly, Tyler heard the conversation between the two women. I look forward to the next part. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, is Rebeka Amish by any chance? It sounds like it. Her upbringing is so out of step with today's world. Noone in the west live like that anymore. None the less it's a great story and I'm looking forward to reading on. A big hug, Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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Hi Barbara, is Rebeka Amish by any chance? It sounds like it. Her upbringing is so out of step with today's world. Noone in the west live like that anymore. None the less it's a great story and I'm looking forward to reading on. A big hug, Ulla xcx
Comment Written 23-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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She's close to being Amish, but I'm not labeling her religion. Thank you for the kind review.
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Aw, so I was not far off, lol. Xx
Comment from Dopeless Hopefiend
For me, this chapter was an emotionally rich scene that balanced tension, character development, and a touch of humor, quite well. The interaction between Tyler and Rebeka is layered with vulnerability and trust, as they navigate a deeply personal and sensitive conversation. Tyler's professionalism and empathy shine through, making him a likable and grounded character, while Rebeka's backstory is revealed in the details, making me sympathize and understand better. The dialogue feels natural and engaging, and the pacing allows the emotional weight of the situation to unfold organically. The subtle humor, like Tyler's reference to Bob Marley, adds tiny relief without detracting from the seriousness of the moment. Overall, this is a well-crafted scene that left me as the reader invested in the characters and eager to see how their story unfolds.
Keep writing, well done.
-D.H
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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For me, this chapter was an emotionally rich scene that balanced tension, character development, and a touch of humor, quite well. The interaction between Tyler and Rebeka is layered with vulnerability and trust, as they navigate a deeply personal and sensitive conversation. Tyler's professionalism and empathy shine through, making him a likable and grounded character, while Rebeka's backstory is revealed in the details, making me sympathize and understand better. The dialogue feels natural and engaging, and the pacing allows the emotional weight of the situation to unfold organically. The subtle humor, like Tyler's reference to Bob Marley, adds tiny relief without detracting from the seriousness of the moment. Overall, this is a well-crafted scene that left me as the reader invested in the characters and eager to see how their story unfolds.
Keep writing, well done.
-D.H
Comment Written 23-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from judiverse
Well, Rebeka is full of surprises. Or should I say you are? I was not only surprised by the pregnancy but by her not going to high school. That's the way the Amish do things. It's to her credit that she continued to learn on her own and developed her writing skills. Oh, my, can a man really be that gorgeous! It probably won't have much of an influence on Rebeka, as she has her own problems to deal with. Given her background, she wouldn't consider abortion. Interesting developments and a great beginning to your story. "Go passed the eighth grade" I think should be past.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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Well, Rebeka is full of surprises. Or should I say you are? I was not only surprised by the pregnancy but by her not going to high school. That's the way the Amish do things. It's to her credit that she continued to learn on her own and developed her writing skills. Oh, my, can a man really be that gorgeous! It probably won't have much of an influence on Rebeka, as she has her own problems to deal with. Given her background, she wouldn't consider abortion. Interesting developments and a great beginning to your story. "Go passed the eighth grade" I think should be past.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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I made the correction. Thank you for the kind review and understanding.
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You're welcome. I'm eager to see how things go with Rebeka. judi
Comment from Begin Again
Well done, Barbara! I like how we get to the crux of the situation, slowly, piece by piece and how Tyler has so much patience and understanding... Great for his field and even better for a relationship. I enjoyed it very much.
Smiles, Carol
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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Well done, Barbara! I like how we get to the crux of the situation, slowly, piece by piece and how Tyler has so much patience and understanding... Great for his field and even better for a relationship. I enjoyed it very much.
Smiles, Carol
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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Thank you for the kind review.
