Jonathan's Story
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "That important phone call"Our fostering journey with a severely disabled boy
26 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
I want to scream... and, sorry to say, hit certain people!
That's what good writing does - inspires people to action. Good writing invigorates emotional response.
I want the responsible parties to make things right - to give Jonathon his real teeth back and to undue all the harm they have done.
tube-feeding regime - regime, or regimen?
Hurry with the verdict!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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I want to scream... and, sorry to say, hit certain people!
That's what good writing does - inspires people to action. Good writing invigorates emotional response.
I want the responsible parties to make things right - to give Jonathon his real teeth back and to undue all the harm they have done.
tube-feeding regime - regime, or regimen?
Hurry with the verdict!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you Wayne - I am so pleased to feel your compassion and understanding. So very encouraging. And six stars is a beautiful bonus, for which I thank you greatly. We would say regime, from the French word régime, meaning diet, but I will double check, and make sure. Many thanks. I want it to be accurate so I appreciate your suggestion.
Wendy
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Hi again. I will change it. Regimen is preferred by Americans. In terms of diet, both can be used interchangeably, however, the word regime can also be used for a political system of government. So I think regimen is a better choice. Thank you.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Oh boy, oh boy. Unfortunately, sometimes dealing with government, it doesn't matter how prepared you are. It should show them how much a part of his life you are now and have always been. But the bottom line is always the almighty dollar. I'm on pins and needles. Great installment. Gretchen
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Oh boy, oh boy. Unfortunately, sometimes dealing with government, it doesn't matter how prepared you are. It should show them how much a part of his life you are now and have always been. But the bottom line is always the almighty dollar. I'm on pins and needles. Great installment. Gretchen
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you Gretchen. It was a private company, originally a charity, but they still got some government funding, so it was a fairly complex web. But yes, the bottom line is always the dollar, together with avoidance of any responsibility. And they had the bonus of knowing there were few other places for him, and extremely few vacancies ever became available. Thank you so much for continuing to read and review and show your support - you probably have no idea how much that means to me, and what a great encouragement it is, so thank you again.
Wendy
Comment from Rachelle Allen
NOOOOO!!! You can't leave me hanging here!!! WHAT?!! Ohhhh, you cruel wench!! (haha)
What a CHAPTER!!! I was RIVETED!!
Good versus evil. Truth versus lies. Love and compassion for Jonathan versus how much money he can bring to the facility's coffers! It had it ALL...including a stupid little assistant who's like an eighth grade popular girl when she hisses, "Anyway, no one likes you." Good gawd! Did she add, "And I also have better shoes, too!" What a totally impotent comment to have made! So farcical, really.
Well, needless to say, I can't WAIT to read the next installment! HURRY!!!
xoxox
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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NOOOOO!!! You can't leave me hanging here!!! WHAT?!! Ohhhh, you cruel wench!! (haha)
What a CHAPTER!!! I was RIVETED!!
Good versus evil. Truth versus lies. Love and compassion for Jonathan versus how much money he can bring to the facility's coffers! It had it ALL...including a stupid little assistant who's like an eighth grade popular girl when she hisses, "Anyway, no one likes you." Good gawd! Did she add, "And I also have better shoes, too!" What a totally impotent comment to have made! So farcical, really.
Well, needless to say, I can't WAIT to read the next installment! HURRY!!!
xoxox
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Lol. Yes, left you hanging. Isn't that what good writers do? I'm trying to be good! Love your review. Love your Jewish Momma dramatic comments,and your lovely words. Love the capitals. Love the gift of six stars. (MANY thanks - you are so encouaging!) Your reviews always leave me smiling, especially the comment about the shoes. Yes, in retrospect, it was a silly and petty comment she made!!
Well, now to check and edit the next chapter again.
Wendy
Comment from Saki the Artist
This is a wild story! Great retelling of it!
I really liked the natural introduction of the Luke character. All too often, I see rookie writers describing new characters directly ("he was a tall man in his late forties...") instead of letting their actions and situations frame them.
One small thing that wasn't as smooth as the rest of this pieces was the paragraph about your husband. It seemed a bit disconnected from the surrounding text. You introduced him, and then introduced Anna, and then your husband is not mentioned again. It may be a simple matter of transitioning into the Anna paragraph - maybe just wrapping up the husband paragraph so that it feels like we're done acknowledging his contribution and now moving on with the story.
Other than that, I'm out of suggestions, because this story was so well-written and there's no problems to pick at =) Super excellent work! And I'm glad you are done with this legal nonsense.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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This is a wild story! Great retelling of it!
I really liked the natural introduction of the Luke character. All too often, I see rookie writers describing new characters directly ("he was a tall man in his late forties...") instead of letting their actions and situations frame them.
One small thing that wasn't as smooth as the rest of this pieces was the paragraph about your husband. It seemed a bit disconnected from the surrounding text. You introduced him, and then introduced Anna, and then your husband is not mentioned again. It may be a simple matter of transitioning into the Anna paragraph - maybe just wrapping up the husband paragraph so that it feels like we're done acknowledging his contribution and now moving on with the story.
Other than that, I'm out of suggestions, because this story was so well-written and there's no problems to pick at =) Super excellent work! And I'm glad you are done with this legal nonsense.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you Saki. Yes, you are probably right there, and I will go back and check if there's anything else I can say about him to round it off. I appreciate your review very much. I am in the process of putting them as chapters in a book. The previous post, as to why I gave permission to have him tube-fed is still active till tomorrow if you want to check it out. It's called "Between a rock and a hard place". Other chapters have been put into "Jonathan's story" already, in my portfolio. Anyway I greatly appreciated your thoughtful review, and the insight you have offered, so thank you again.
Wendy
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Oh cool! I'll check out the other chapters.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Oh my goodness, Wendy!
You certainly had my attention throughout your incredibly well-crafted chapter.
And then you left me hanging!
Such unscrupulous actions on the part of the CEO, his personal assistant, and the Head of the Health Care team! And that remark by the CEO's personal assistant had to have been quite the revelation for all present!
How unacceptable!
And thank goodness for individuals like Luke and your daughter and husband!
Lordy! What a roller-coaster journey of emotions!
And what a triumph of courage by you and your family!
So looking forward to your next installment!
Fondly,
diane
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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Oh my goodness, Wendy!
You certainly had my attention throughout your incredibly well-crafted chapter.
And then you left me hanging!
Such unscrupulous actions on the part of the CEO, his personal assistant, and the Head of the Health Care team! And that remark by the CEO's personal assistant had to have been quite the revelation for all present!
How unacceptable!
And thank goodness for individuals like Luke and your daughter and husband!
Lordy! What a roller-coaster journey of emotions!
And what a triumph of courage by you and your family!
So looking forward to your next installment!
Fondly,
diane
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you VERY much Diane. Yes, a roller-coaster of emotions is absolutely true. Meanwhile, I was teaching full-time during all of this. Looking back, I don't know how I remained calm and focused on my students. Probably could win an acting award! Thanks again. I appreciate your support enormously.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought you showed such determination to advocate for Jonathan's well being. It's hard to believe that this would happen at all but you share his story so well. This is well written and easily kept my interest.
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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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I thought you showed such determination to advocate for Jonathan's well being. It's hard to believe that this would happen at all but you share his story so well. This is well written and easily kept my interest.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you very much, Michael! I am glad that you are reading and reviewing, and I appreciate your encouraging words.
Wendy