Santa's Little Secret, Part III
The Authorized Hidden History of Santa Claus31 total reviews
Comment from John Ciarmello
I won't allow this story to get by me without an extra Christmas star! I'm going to adopt this story as part of my inner child. You've created a holiday newness that will be difficult to forget. The peaceful transfer of power, forthcoming transformation, magical slumbers, prolific dreams, and joyous awakenings. Untraditional and sensationally classic, Jay!! I loved it! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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I won't allow this story to get by me without an extra Christmas star! I'm going to adopt this story as part of my inner child. You've created a holiday newness that will be difficult to forget. The peaceful transfer of power, forthcoming transformation, magical slumbers, prolific dreams, and joyous awakenings. Untraditional and sensationally classic, Jay!! I loved it! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Oh, John. If yours was the only review ... and you loved it, I would count this a success. Have you ever thought of writing advertising copy? If I ever did tidy this up and publish it, I'd love to have you write the blub on the back cover! LOL. I appreciate you, my friend.
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I would be honored to write it, Jay! Believe it or not, hahaha; I took a two-year online course for e-mail ads. You know those pesky grabbers to get you to "CLICK." I never pursued it. It just didn't feel right! LOL. Thank you, Jay!
Comment from country ranch writer
So even Santa ain't a Saint when it comes to adult way back many, many, many years ago. But yet again, hiwa many Clauses are actuaÅ?y running around the wÄ«rld, once a player always a player. Maybe he lost track who deserved being served that night. Oops did Insaybthat?after all Santa loved hid milk and c o o k I e s.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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So even Santa ain't a Saint when it comes to adult way back many, many, many years ago. But yet again, hiwa many Clauses are actuaÅ?y running around the wÄ«rld, once a player always a player. Maybe he lost track who deserved being served that night. Oops did Insaybthat?after all Santa loved hid milk and c o o k I e s.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Once a player, always a player! Hahahaha! BJ, you are too much. Thank you for reviewing this ... and giving me a little smile that's going to be hard to erase, even when the Gas bill arrives.
Jay
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Glad I could put a smile on your face.
Comment from lyenochka
Well, the six is more for your humorous introduction and more serious summary of why we are here on Fanstory, "help your brothers and sisters improve their craft." I heard rumblings last year that somehow that main reason was forgotten. So thank you for that and thank you for the astronomical amount of promotion for your post - the size I have not seen in all my six years on Fanstory.
The story was mind-boggling but somehow satisfying with such a gentle transition from Saint Nick to Saint Adjin.
Thank you, Santa Jay!
One typo:
"No," Son," (remove the middle quotes)
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Well, the six is more for your humorous introduction and more serious summary of why we are here on Fanstory, "help your brothers and sisters improve their craft." I heard rumblings last year that somehow that main reason was forgotten. So thank you for that and thank you for the astronomical amount of promotion for your post - the size I have not seen in all my six years on Fanstory.
The story was mind-boggling but somehow satisfying with such a gentle transition from Saint Nick to Saint Adjin.
Thank you, Santa Jay!
One typo:
"No," Son," (remove the middle quotes)
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you enormously, Helen, for the six! About the promotion ... I exchanged my award for top scriptwriter for the year over to member dollars, and December gave me the monthly screenwriter award. Also I reviewed a ton of posts and accumulated nineteen member pumps and one "lucky leprechaun".
Money's always burnt a hole in my pocket. Also my pen is going to be relatively quiet over the next few months while I work on the lyrics for my musical and try to get it polished and dieted (reverse those) in preparation for being sent out to the local colleges and the city "playhouse". So, I splurged for my Santa piece. I'm learning, though. I still think it will struggle to get the 25 needed for ATB.
Anyway, thank you again! Have a marvelous new year .... Oh, and I took care of the typo. Much obliged!
Comment from Jim Wile
A great wrap-up to your Christmas story, Jay. Wonderful job. I loved how you took care of St. Nick's growing senility by passing the torch to his recently discovered son, Ajdin. I also loved the history behind those seemingly silly grandsons who had actually held positions of power and authority over the years. That was great fun.
It was a very clever, well-written, and humorous story with some surprisingly fresh takes on the Christmas story of Santa Claus. The writing was clear and unambiguous and a real pleasure for me to read.
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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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A great wrap-up to your Christmas story, Jay. Wonderful job. I loved how you took care of St. Nick's growing senility by passing the torch to his recently discovered son, Ajdin. I also loved the history behind those seemingly silly grandsons who had actually held positions of power and authority over the years. That was great fun.
It was a very clever, well-written, and humorous story with some surprisingly fresh takes on the Christmas story of Santa Claus. The writing was clear and unambiguous and a real pleasure for me to read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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I'm so happy you enjoyed it, Jim. I'm going to be relatively quiet for the next couple of months while I work on my musical in the quiet of my head. And it does get pretty quiet in there.
Jay
Comment from susand3022
Finally, Jay! I get to part 3!
Adjinclaus was fun to meet, and I love the way his blow-up bag popped when his kid hugged him at the end! Super-fun touch!
I love the way you created your own little North Pole tale. I totally adored the whole thing. I also loved the stuff you put at the front of this one about the $ readers... so funny... and so true! LOL
Have a great day!
Susan :)
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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Finally, Jay! I get to part 3!
Adjinclaus was fun to meet, and I love the way his blow-up bag popped when his kid hugged him at the end! Super-fun touch!
I love the way you created your own little North Pole tale. I totally adored the whole thing. I also loved the stuff you put at the front of this one about the $ readers... so funny... and so true! LOL
Have a great day!
Susan :)
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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Awwww, thank you, Susan! I'm glad you read the front stuff as well. I had a lot of fun writing it. Your six stars were a welcomed sight! Thanks for that as well.
Jay
Comment from amahra
You have a very sophisticated style of writing, Jay. I really enjoyed the Santa story. As always your story-telling is smooth with realistic dialogue. Great job, my friend.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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You have a very sophisticated style of writing, Jay. I really enjoyed the Santa story. As always your story-telling is smooth with realistic dialogue. Great job, my friend.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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Amahra, you are so kind. I don't know ... sophistication can border on boring. I'm glad it didn't cross over for you. Thank you for that and for the lovely six stars!
Jay
Comment from royowen
You must have an incredible imagination to write this very detailed and progressive story. I think you love to set yourself a task of sometimes painting yourself into a corner. I've been a long time fan of yours, and witnessed some incredible tales. The best authors are not necessarily well known, well done Jay, well done, great tale. Blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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You must have an incredible imagination to write this very detailed and progressive story. I think you love to set yourself a task of sometimes painting yourself into a corner. I've been a long time fan of yours, and witnessed some incredible tales. The best authors are not necessarily well known, well done Jay, well done, great tale. Blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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You know how to make a fella blush, Roy. Thanks so much for your kind words.
Jay
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You blush? Nah
Comment from Ric Myworld
A whole lot of work went into this story and I've enjoyed every minute of it. I mean, I guess I'm still an overgrown kid floundering in his senior years, but Santa gives us a reason to celebrate every day. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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A whole lot of work went into this story and I've enjoyed every minute of it. I mean, I guess I'm still an overgrown kid floundering in his senior years, but Santa gives us a reason to celebrate every day. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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Ah, Ric, my friend -- thank that overgrown kid in you for enjoying this celebration. And of course, for the six stars!
Jay
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Jay,
I like your captivating twist on the tale of Santa.
Your dialogue is sharp and moves the story along nicely. I can learn things from your smooth style. I think it's exceptional.
Blessings
and good luck with all of your endeavors!
Cindy
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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Jay,
I like your captivating twist on the tale of Santa.
Your dialogue is sharp and moves the story along nicely. I can learn things from your smooth style. I think it's exceptional.
Blessings
and good luck with all of your endeavors!
Cindy
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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Thank you, Cindy, for your kind response to your reading. The six stars cap it all off nicely. Bless you!
Jay
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You?re welcome, Jay.
Comment from Ulla
Jay, what can I say? This is adorable. I loved how you passed the reins over to Adjin. Not only is it well written, but there's so much imagery throughout. It's been a joy to read, and I think you did the right thing to end the story today however long it may be for some. Well done. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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Jay, what can I say? This is adorable. I loved how you passed the reins over to Adjin. Not only is it well written, but there's so much imagery throughout. It's been a joy to read, and I think you did the right thing to end the story today however long it may be for some. Well done. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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Ulla, as usual your brightness lights up the page and your kindness warms me through. I'm so happy you enjoyed reading this, especially to the extent of awarding it six stars.
Jay