A Fly on the Wall
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "On...The End of Simple Weddings"A journal musings and assessments about situations
26 total reviews
Comment from Write Right Writer
Rachelle...
First of all, I fully agree with you. The 21st-century, western civilization concept of weddings, especially in America, has exploded past ostentatious and pretentious to downright crass and gaudy; complete with a wish-I-had-a-down-payment-for-a-house price tag. Thanks for iterating the many different aspects of the insanity and making it so fun (and funny). Well done.
Secondly, you have an exceptional knack for writing comedy, which is hard to do well. You employ the elements of humor (exaggeration, incongruity, superiority, surprise, inversion, repetition, visual/physical antics, etc.) and comedy (hook, set up, punch line, etc.) and with mastery and precision. Kudos to you.
Better yet, you offer a wide array of comedic genres and navigate each of them with flair and gusto. From satire, irony, and situational comedy, to farce, sarcasm, and cynicism, you have us exactly where you want us; holding our bellies and rolling in the aisle.
Your creative use of punctuation as a tool for increasing emphasis or intensity is exceptional as well; not to mention fun, funny, and highly effective.
Jumping off the analysis track, "On... The End of Simple Weddings" made me laugh; a lot. The "I Don't Know How to Love Him" bit was particularly funny and your story about "portly, four-foot-ten Ashley" was hilarious! My favorite line was, "Ashley rucked up her cranberry-colored satin bridesmaid dress so that she could climb onto his back and begin to straddle his substantial girth with her Vienna sausage legs." Perfect!
Well written. Great fun. Keep 'em coming. Let me know when your book is finished so I can be first line.
Blessings...
Curt (WRW)
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Rachelle...
First of all, I fully agree with you. The 21st-century, western civilization concept of weddings, especially in America, has exploded past ostentatious and pretentious to downright crass and gaudy; complete with a wish-I-had-a-down-payment-for-a-house price tag. Thanks for iterating the many different aspects of the insanity and making it so fun (and funny). Well done.
Secondly, you have an exceptional knack for writing comedy, which is hard to do well. You employ the elements of humor (exaggeration, incongruity, superiority, surprise, inversion, repetition, visual/physical antics, etc.) and comedy (hook, set up, punch line, etc.) and with mastery and precision. Kudos to you.
Better yet, you offer a wide array of comedic genres and navigate each of them with flair and gusto. From satire, irony, and situational comedy, to farce, sarcasm, and cynicism, you have us exactly where you want us; holding our bellies and rolling in the aisle.
Your creative use of punctuation as a tool for increasing emphasis or intensity is exceptional as well; not to mention fun, funny, and highly effective.
Jumping off the analysis track, "On... The End of Simple Weddings" made me laugh; a lot. The "I Don't Know How to Love Him" bit was particularly funny and your story about "portly, four-foot-ten Ashley" was hilarious! My favorite line was, "Ashley rucked up her cranberry-colored satin bridesmaid dress so that she could climb onto his back and begin to straddle his substantial girth with her Vienna sausage legs." Perfect!
Well written. Great fun. Keep 'em coming. Let me know when your book is finished so I can be first line.
Blessings...
Curt (WRW)
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thank you for this elaborate and encouraging review! It always helps so much when reviewers are specific. It lets me know what's working (or isn't) and what they consider funny (or not.) I doubt I'll have to let you know when the book is out, though; I expect you to be my agent, hawking it on the street corners!
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Yes, Ma'am!
Comment from Terry Broxson
This is a hoot! It is very well-done. I have a Nephew and his wife who have built a beautiful wedding venue in the country north of Dallas. I think they have some stories, but yours is exceptionally written. Terry.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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This is a hoot! It is very well-done. I have a Nephew and his wife who have built a beautiful wedding venue in the country north of Dallas. I think they have some stories, but yours is exceptionally written. Terry.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thanks very much! I couldn't appreciate that more. (and I you're so right; there is GOLD in them thar wedding venue hills of theirs!!)
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
The Va-Va-Voom generation? I just wrote an article "Are you a GEN Xer), that looks at eight different generation types; from The Lost Generation (1893 - 1900 all the way up to Gen Alpha (2013 - XXXX) Never once did I find anything on the Va-Va-Voom Generation. I think you may have coined a new designation. I'll have to go revise my article. Good one. ;))
I like how you STRESS Everything!!! by the way.
P2, S4: Insert one space between (Ry.) and (Thing)
P5, S1: (sky writing) should be (skywriting) one word
P5, S2: (world-wide) should be (worldwide) Worldwide is a closed compound word, meaning there is no space or hyphen in between the words, "world" and "wide."
P18, S1: (Here's) should be (Hear are) To agree with the plural (some)
P30, S2: (hoola hoop) should be (Hoola Hoop) brand name
P31, S2: Remove one space between (oblivious) and (groomsman)
P31, S5: (grande) should be (grand) Grand is the last and most exciting or impressive part of a performance or entertainment. When paired with finale, it is spelled without the "e", grand.
You're pretty tough on the "Her" in this picture, aren't you? After all, you are a Her. This was such a fun read. You have spattered homemade colloquialisms and phrase emphasizers all through the article and it livens it up. You write like someone may be thinking. I know we (my wife and I) have talked about the price of weddings many times. We probably spent 3500 on ours, 28 years ago, and that included Ev. Ry. Thing!
Harvest moon, I love it.
Weddings are carnivals anymore. Regular circuses, complete with clowns and acrobats. Sounds like you have just been to one of the grandest.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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The Va-Va-Voom generation? I just wrote an article "Are you a GEN Xer), that looks at eight different generation types; from The Lost Generation (1893 - 1900 all the way up to Gen Alpha (2013 - XXXX) Never once did I find anything on the Va-Va-Voom Generation. I think you may have coined a new designation. I'll have to go revise my article. Good one. ;))
I like how you STRESS Everything!!! by the way.
P2, S4: Insert one space between (Ry.) and (Thing)
P5, S1: (sky writing) should be (skywriting) one word
P5, S2: (world-wide) should be (worldwide) Worldwide is a closed compound word, meaning there is no space or hyphen in between the words, "world" and "wide."
P18, S1: (Here's) should be (Hear are) To agree with the plural (some)
P30, S2: (hoola hoop) should be (Hoola Hoop) brand name
P31, S2: Remove one space between (oblivious) and (groomsman)
P31, S5: (grande) should be (grand) Grand is the last and most exciting or impressive part of a performance or entertainment. When paired with finale, it is spelled without the "e", grand.
You're pretty tough on the "Her" in this picture, aren't you? After all, you are a Her. This was such a fun read. You have spattered homemade colloquialisms and phrase emphasizers all through the article and it livens it up. You write like someone may be thinking. I know we (my wife and I) have talked about the price of weddings many times. We probably spent 3500 on ours, 28 years ago, and that included Ev. Ry. Thing!
Harvest moon, I love it.
Weddings are carnivals anymore. Regular circuses, complete with clowns and acrobats. Sounds like you have just been to one of the grandest.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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The price of admission was a little steeper, though...
Thanks for the help with all the edits. Very much appreciated.
Comment from Susan Newell
Racelle,
I laughed all the way through this. I was delighted you chose to write in such an expressive style with the assistance of caps and punctuation. I could almost hear your voice. It was my father who insisted I have a big wedding. (He couldn't let people think he couldn't afford one.) I would have been happy with a quiet one for family and close friends. Weddings have made people lose sight of marriages, which was my primary concern. And then half of them end up splitting up in a few years. Your singing scene had me rolling on the floor, as did your image of a fat munchkin mounting a sluggish boar and riding into a YouTube forever life. Just spectacular! (Proofing notes below.)
Sue
Onto the dress. -- On to?
She'd been preceded by their other brother, -- I don't recall mention of the first brother
Sometimes, it's just downright embarrassing how out-of-touch I can be.. -- extra period
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Racelle,
I laughed all the way through this. I was delighted you chose to write in such an expressive style with the assistance of caps and punctuation. I could almost hear your voice. It was my father who insisted I have a big wedding. (He couldn't let people think he couldn't afford one.) I would have been happy with a quiet one for family and close friends. Weddings have made people lose sight of marriages, which was my primary concern. And then half of them end up splitting up in a few years. Your singing scene had me rolling on the floor, as did your image of a fat munchkin mounting a sluggish boar and riding into a YouTube forever life. Just spectacular! (Proofing notes below.)
Sue
Onto the dress. -- On to?
She'd been preceded by their other brother, -- I don't recall mention of the first brother
Sometimes, it's just downright embarrassing how out-of-touch I can be.. -- extra period
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thank you!! (the other brother is the groom.)
I appreciate your warm and encouraging review as well as the edit catches which I will take care of as soon as I'm done reviewing. Always so thankful when you let me know of these things I miss. xo
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You are welcome. This was just delightful. I wish I could call it satire, but it's just simple truth. Thanks for clarifying about the brother. I missed that.
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But you're sharp and a 'noticing' reader, so I'm thinking I should just omit the word 'other.' What are your thoughts?
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Why not clarify by saying the groom's brother? (If it isn't close enough to be redundant.) Sometimes readers need little reminders slipped in quietly.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Wow. What you write is more precise than I ever expected. Thankful we, for our daughter, married at home with a 100 guests, and served 30 full size pizzas (pepperoni or cheese), no alcohol and the decorations by the bride-to-be, mom, dad and friends. Well done.
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reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Wow. What you write is more precise than I ever expected. Thankful we, for our daughter, married at home with a 100 guests, and served 30 full size pizzas (pepperoni or cheese), no alcohol and the decorations by the bride-to-be, mom, dad and friends. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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And I bet it was a great and fun time!!
Comment from Crystal McNeil
Wonderful observations of how so many mindsets have changed. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. There is certainly a lot of humour in today's antics. Thank you for sharing.
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reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Wonderful observations of how so many mindsets have changed. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. There is certainly a lot of humour in today's antics. Thank you for sharing.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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And thank you for reviewing!! I appreciate the feedback and agree: today's version may be over-the-top, but it's also great entertainment!!