The Trophy
A memoir37 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Being a trout fisherman, I fully appreciate your very well told story. Good work.
Tiny little issue -"heehonkers," Quotations are outside punctuation marks in dialogue. But here, you are using quotes (as we all do due to FanStory limitations) as emphasis of the single word. So just the word gets emphasized.
Blessed memories. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
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Being a trout fisherman, I fully appreciate your very well told story. Good work.
Tiny little issue -"heehonkers," Quotations are outside punctuation marks in dialogue. But here, you are using quotes (as we all do due to FanStory limitations) as emphasis of the single word. So just the word gets emphasized.
Blessed memories. Best wishes.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
Hi, Wayne Fowler,
Thank you for reading my story and especially, that sixth star! It's very gratifying to know others appreciate your efforts.
Thanks also for the tip about punctuation. I don't really have much of a background in writing. I'll give it some research.
Very best wishes,
J. P.
Comment from LisaMay
An indelible memory for sure. The observations of nature, the excitement of the catch, and the lesson that experiences are more valuable than outward trappings are very well portrayed here in an engaging manner. I enjoyed the relationship between you and your father - including you with his friends, believing you about the water boil and helping you succeed... also sticking to the regulations. The wisdom of Thoreau's words is a nice addition.
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
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An indelible memory for sure. The observations of nature, the excitement of the catch, and the lesson that experiences are more valuable than outward trappings are very well portrayed here in an engaging manner. I enjoyed the relationship between you and your father - including you with his friends, believing you about the water boil and helping you succeed... also sticking to the regulations. The wisdom of Thoreau's words is a nice addition.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
Hi, LisaMay,
Thank you for taking the time to read my (lengthy) story and for those comments! I'm very pleased you enjoyed it as well as its epigraph.
Very sincerely,
J. P.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your fishing story contest entry read well. JP. I enjoyed residing
it. You gave readers great details throughout. Your descriptive
words made me feel like I was there. I like the way you described
the accountant and how he meticulously measured your fish. I
like the ending of how you prized the experience over the actual
keeping the fish.
Your quote is perfect for your story.
You can add it right above the picture IF you wish by doing this:
Go to your page where you would edit
Use advanced editor
scroll down to where you see something like show advanced options
Look for the box that say you can add a dedication
Click there then do this
The question is not what you look at, but what you see. ~ Henry David Thoreau, Journal, 5 August 1851
The quote is long and may not all fit, but try it and see. If not then shorten it
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
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Your fishing story contest entry read well. JP. I enjoyed residing
it. You gave readers great details throughout. Your descriptive
words made me feel like I was there. I like the way you described
the accountant and how he meticulously measured your fish. I
like the ending of how you prized the experience over the actual
keeping the fish.
Your quote is perfect for your story.
You can add it right above the picture IF you wish by doing this:
Go to your page where you would edit
Use advanced editor
scroll down to where you see something like show advanced options
Look for the box that say you can add a dedication
Click there then do this
The question is not what you look at, but what you see. ~ Henry David Thoreau, Journal, 5 August 1851
The quote is long and may not all fit, but try it and see. If not then shorten it
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
Hi, Jan,
Always nice to see you stop by, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story!
I've tried your suggestion about the epigraph, but I can't make it look right. I'd shorten it, but I spent too long trying to properly source the quote, LOL. Spent hours on it, gave up, and finally called a library to get the "wheres & whens." I'll just leave it where it is for now. Thank you, though, for you time and trouble suggesting how I might make it work.
Warmest regards,
J. P.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is one of the best stories that I've read on FanStory. The details and descriptions are phenomenal. The description of your Muskellunge, with all the colors, was stunning. Not being a fisherman, terms like "the drag loosened and sang out smoothly," and mention of a "dip net," were new to me, but you told the story so all terms and phrases could be easily understood. Not only is the story adventurous, you wrote it with a building degree of suspense. When you released your Muskie back into the water, I was sad, but joyful. I wish you the best in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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This is one of the best stories that I've read on FanStory. The details and descriptions are phenomenal. The description of your Muskellunge, with all the colors, was stunning. Not being a fisherman, terms like "the drag loosened and sang out smoothly," and mention of a "dip net," were new to me, but you told the story so all terms and phrases could be easily understood. Not only is the story adventurous, you wrote it with a building degree of suspense. When you released your Muskie back into the water, I was sad, but joyful. I wish you the best in the contest.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
Hi, LJ,
Very nice to see you again. Thanks so much for reading my story (which was on the long side), and especially, for those six stars! If I couldn't write the story so the reader couldn't see it in their mind, then the story would have been a dud. It's very gratifying to read people think I succeeded in that.
Very sincerely yours,
J. P.
Comment from Judy Lawless
What a story, J.P.! I was holding my breath, feeling the tug of the line and the thrill of the catch during your description. I'm glad you got to weigh it and take a picture to prove your catch, but, like you I'm glad you let it go rather than have it mounted. Well told. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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What a story, J.P.! I was holding my breath, feeling the tug of the line and the thrill of the catch during your description. I'm glad you got to weigh it and take a picture to prove your catch, but, like you I'm glad you let it go rather than have it mounted. Well told. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
Hi, Judy Lawless,
Thanks for reading my story and those comments! I tried very hard to write the story so that the reader could see things clearly as they were reading. It was challenging.
Very best wishes,
J. P.
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You?re most welcome, J.P. Possibly people who have experienced fishing will relate more. I had the privilege of fishing with my dad, as a child and later with a man I was dating. Good memories.
Comment from Commissioner Flanagan
The author expounds on a delightful narrative of his venture s as a boy fishing with his Dad. It is a historical account of Father and Son sharing life's adventures. The escapade is one of adventure and abounds in the emotional bind they share.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
 |
The author expounds on a delightful narrative of his venture s as a boy fishing with his Dad. It is a historical account of Father and Son sharing life's adventures. The escapade is one of adventure and abounds in the emotional bind they share.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
Hi, Commissioner Flanagan,
Thank you for reading my story and those comments. They're much appreciated!
Best,
J. P.
Comment from juliaSjames
A fishy coming of age story! Okay that came out a little lame, but I'm sure you know what I mean..At an early age, you learned, or at least caught a glimpse of, the concept that the true importance of life lies in experience triumphs and defeats, not in trophies gained or lost.
You have an engaging, laid back writing style. It allows the reader into the narrative without the writer's ego standing in the way.
My younger son and his best friend are sports fishermen off and on. Strictly catch and release.
"If so the implications were profound." - Not sure this throw away line adds anything useful to the write.
Good luck in the contest
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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A fishy coming of age story! Okay that came out a little lame, but I'm sure you know what I mean..At an early age, you learned, or at least caught a glimpse of, the concept that the true importance of life lies in experience triumphs and defeats, not in trophies gained or lost.
You have an engaging, laid back writing style. It allows the reader into the narrative without the writer's ego standing in the way.
My younger son and his best friend are sports fishermen off and on. Strictly catch and release.
"If so the implications were profound." - Not sure this throw away line adds anything useful to the write.
Good luck in the contest
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
Hi, JuliaSjames,
Thank you for taking the time to read my (rather long) story and for those nice comments! Someone else once commented that I had a laid back style of writing, and I'm glad I haven't lost that. Hope that I never do.
I also like the humor in your opening comments. My own sense of humor is drier than dust and often not even recognized. Sometimes, I feel like carrying around a little placard to hold up that reads, "That was a joke...."
Kindest regards,
J. P.
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Cue chuckles
Julia
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:)
Comment from Ulla
This was a lovely story indeed and so very on well written with a lot of visual descriptions. It must have been a bittersweet moment when you had to return the fish back into the water. I have caught a few fish in my life so I know how you must have felt. Good luck in the competition. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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This was a lovely story indeed and so very on well written with a lot of visual descriptions. It must have been a bittersweet moment when you had to return the fish back into the water. I have caught a few fish in my life so I know how you must have felt. Good luck in the competition. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
Hi, Ulla,
Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for leaving those very nice compliments. Since you're writing a book titled, "The Fisherman's Son," I'd be more than a little bit surprised if you hadn't done some fishing. ;)
Very best wishes,
J. P.
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
You have some wonderful memories of your dad and his friends. And what a day catching that huge fish. Thankfully, you have pictures. And it's nice you kept your fathers fishing gear. I know it was made to last. In those days things were made to last. Not like today, everything is disposable. Which is a shame. Thank you for sharing your great fishing story. Have a great day and stay safe.
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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You have some wonderful memories of your dad and his friends. And what a day catching that huge fish. Thankfully, you have pictures. And it's nice you kept your fathers fishing gear. I know it was made to last. In those days things were made to last. Not like today, everything is disposable. Which is a shame. Thank you for sharing your great fishing story. Have a great day and stay safe.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
Hi, Carolyn,
Thanks for taking the time to read a rather long story and leaving those nice comments! Yes, that gear was made to last, and my tackle box looks like an antique collection. And you're right--I do have some wonderful memories of my dad and his friends. I've been very fortunate.
Sincerely,
J. P.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Olivanne Marsh
Well done! Not a fisherman, but I like a good fish story as much as anybody. This one was exciting and well made. I love the use of detail especially in hooking and landing the fish. As a reader, I felt part of the action, like I was there as a bystander. Also liked the part about how you smiled secretly as you let the fish go and how watching it swim away was better than having a trophy on your wall. A trophy memory is what you scored. Loved that you would have used Thoreau for the epigraph. Can't find a thing about this that didn't make me glad I read it.
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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Well done! Not a fisherman, but I like a good fish story as much as anybody. This one was exciting and well made. I love the use of detail especially in hooking and landing the fish. As a reader, I felt part of the action, like I was there as a bystander. Also liked the part about how you smiled secretly as you let the fish go and how watching it swim away was better than having a trophy on your wall. A trophy memory is what you scored. Loved that you would have used Thoreau for the epigraph. Can't find a thing about this that didn't make me glad I read it.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
Hi, Olivanne Marsh,
Wow, what a wonderful review! If I can't truthfully use much dialogue (and I couldn't) than I better make the reader feel like they're a bystander. Quite the compliment!
Thanks also for the compliment on the story's epigraph. I like using them occasionally when there's a little subtext that's less than obvious.
Warmest regards,
J. P.
