Sories Poetically Speaking
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "End of the Farnsworth Line"A complete story in written as a poem.
31 total reviews
Comment from jenintorre
I love this loop poem. It is clever, well constructed and witty.
The artwork is brilliant. I was thinking of entering this comoetition but I ca't follow that. Good luck and best wishes. Jen.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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I love this loop poem. It is clever, well constructed and witty.
The artwork is brilliant. I was thinking of entering this comoetition but I ca't follow that. Good luck and best wishes. Jen.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and comments on my poem and Especially thank you for the six stars.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Very well done on this loop poem, which tells a sad story indeed. When God blesses us with children, He intends for us to teach them well, but to be aware of each one's gifts and abilities, and give them freedom to choose their path in life. We raise them, to let them go.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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Very well done on this loop poem, which tells a sad story indeed. When God blesses us with children, He intends for us to teach them well, but to be aware of each one's gifts and abilities, and give them freedom to choose their path in life. We raise them, to let them go.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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Thankyou Anne, I appreciate the review and comments. Too many parents don't seem to allow they children to grow up and thank for themselves.
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You are welcome
Comment from Terry Broxson
An excellent poem for this contest, good luck. A great picture for this poem. If it really is the Farnsworth girls, how cool would that be. You tell a good message in this poem. Just a thought, I know it is not required, but some loop poems have the last word and the first word repeated. The thought is that it closes the loop. You might think about it, not a big deal. Good job.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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An excellent poem for this contest, good luck. A great picture for this poem. If it really is the Farnsworth girls, how cool would that be. You tell a good message in this poem. Just a thought, I know it is not required, but some loop poems have the last word and the first word repeated. The thought is that it closes the loop. You might think about it, not a big deal. Good job.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I have no clue who these girls are or if they are even girls. Some one said they faces look like men and they may be right. There could have been cross dressing in Victorian times. Since the closed loop isn't required, I think I'll leave it open. This was my first loop poem. Maybe I'll close the next one.
Comment from Sherry Asbury
You have done this loop form very well. Those poor girls look miserable, but in those times it was the man's rules. My father was that way, I hated it and he and I were never close, so your last line is correct and poignant.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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You have done this loop form very well. Those poor girls look miserable, but in those times it was the man's rules. My father was that way, I hated it and he and I were never close, so your last line is correct and poignant.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Thank you Sherry. I appreciate the review and comments.
Smiles.
Comment from ahamranji
A nice poem written in freestyle about the harsh conservative values imposed on children by a narrow minded parent that has them deprived of some of the basic pleasures of life.
Best wishes and regards.
R Jayachandran
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2021
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A nice poem written in freestyle about the harsh conservative values imposed on children by a narrow minded parent that has them deprived of some of the basic pleasures of life.
Best wishes and regards.
R Jayachandran
Comment Written 18-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2021
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Thank you for an excellent review and comment. I really appreciate it.
Smiles.
Comment from LisaMay
That is certainly a grim looking bunch of daughters. They look transgender to me - maybe Papa was protecting them from the potential horrors of marriage.
Your skilfully written loop poem contains an important message that all fathers would be wise to follow.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2021
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That is certainly a grim looking bunch of daughters. They look transgender to me - maybe Papa was protecting them from the potential horrors of marriage.
Your skilfully written loop poem contains an important message that all fathers would be wise to follow.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the review and comments. The grim looks on those faces is why I wanted to write something about them. Surely no one dared be transgender way back then, but maybe the picture was only made to look old and you may be right.
Comment from Heidixoxo
Hello,
I have admit that this was truly an amazing piece you created. You did a nice job with format and putting it together. I enjoyed reading it so much that I actually re-read it again.
Best of luck to you
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Hello,
I have admit that this was truly an amazing piece you created. You did a nice job with format and putting it together. I enjoyed reading it so much that I actually re-read it again.
Best of luck to you
Comment Written 16-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and the comments. I'm delighted you liked it.
Comment from T B Botts
My word, what a sober looking bunch of gals. Frankly, none of them appear too appealing, but perhaps that's because they look like they've been eating lemons. Well done on your poem. I think you need to correct the line above the title though to read "your" instead of "you" in speaking of the children.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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My word, what a sober looking bunch of gals. Frankly, none of them appear too appealing, but perhaps that's because they look like they've been eating lemons. Well done on your poem. I think you need to correct the line above the title though to read "your" instead of "you" in speaking of the children.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 16-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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I know, they are sour looking. When I saw the picture, I wanted to write something about it. Wouldn't you know I made up a name and someone just told me they came from the Farnsworth line and wondered about my poem. I had to assure them those girls weren't their ancestors. LOL Thanks for noticing the missing letter.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and good presentation.
-I am very interested in your topic
because I am descended from the line
of a Thomas Farnsworth on my father's side.
-This Farnsworth sounds very different.
-You did a good job with the loops
and the story you relate.
-It is a sad tale about restrictions
placed on daughters who were
supposed to conform to what they were told.
-You do a good job with the ending of the poem, too.
-Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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-Nice artwork and good presentation.
-I am very interested in your topic
because I am descended from the line
of a Thomas Farnsworth on my father's side.
-This Farnsworth sounds very different.
-You did a good job with the loops
and the story you relate.
-It is a sad tale about restrictions
placed on daughters who were
supposed to conform to what they were told.
-You do a good job with the ending of the poem, too.
-Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I have no idea why I picked the name Farnsworth. I've never know a Farnsworth. It just sounds like it might be the name of a proud old family. The picture intrigued me and I wanted to write something about it. The girls look unhappy, but I'm sure they are really Farnsworths. LOL
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You are very welcome. That is funny that you chose that name. The Farnsworth I am related to had a son, Amon Updike, and that line went on the produce the writer John Updike.
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Wow! Your line produced a good writer. I like John Updike. I figured that name might have some important people in it.
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Thanks for sharing. It's funny, I tried reading one of his books and didn't like his style!
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I had to read one for class, and at first I didn't it either, but in the end it was one of the better of the six novels I had to read for that class on Post WWII novels.
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Thanks for sharing. I look forward to seeing who you are. I wonder if you were an English major. That was my choice, and maybe genes played into it:)
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I was an art major but I was trying for an English major too when I went back to college and took some English courses.
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Thanks for sharing.
Comment from tfawcus
I'm not generally a great fan of loop poetry. It tends to be painfully contrived in most cases. This is one of the very few that I've read which artfully conceals all of the repetitions with changes in the way you use the repeating words. Exceptionally well done. If this doesn't win the contest, I'd like to read the one that does!
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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I'm not generally a great fan of loop poetry. It tends to be painfully contrived in most cases. This is one of the very few that I've read which artfully conceals all of the repetitions with changes in the way you use the repeating words. Exceptionally well done. If this doesn't win the contest, I'd like to read the one that does!
Comment Written 16-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much for the six stars. I'm so glad you liked it. I'm not a fan of loop poetry either. but I'd never tried it, so I thought I'd give it a shot. It was fun writing about those sour looking women. This is the second poem I used that picture to write about.
