Russian Roulette
A short story36 total reviews
Comment from royowen
I love the sheer irony of this tragic story. You are definitely a good writer Tony, the thought that the poor Major was some sort of military fraud was particularly sad, and the look of peace on his face, said more than the whole story, although necessary to build the narrative. Beautifully written my friend, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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I love the sheer irony of this tragic story. You are definitely a good writer Tony, the thought that the poor Major was some sort of military fraud was particularly sad, and the look of peace on his face, said more than the whole story, although necessary to build the narrative. Beautifully written my friend, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks, Roy. I appreciate your review and supportive comments. All good wishes, Tony.
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Well done
Comment from lyenochka
Wonderfully told as your portrait of the Major was very realistic. He could have been dealing with PTSD. That the boy Evans knew the gun makes me wonder if his father and Evans had served together and Fletcher still carried a lot of guilt. I'm guessing this will be the next Story of the Month!
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Wonderfully told as your portrait of the Major was very realistic. He could have been dealing with PTSD. That the boy Evans knew the gun makes me wonder if his father and Evans had served together and Fletcher still carried a lot of guilt. I'm guessing this will be the next Story of the Month!
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks, Helen. I appreciate your review and supportive comments. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written long story about the major and the gun he likes to play Russian roulette with his gun. It makes one wonder why he was the only one left under his command during war.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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A very well-written long story about the major and the gun he likes to play Russian roulette with his gun. It makes one wonder why he was the only one left under his command during war.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks, Sandra. I appreciate your review and supportive comments. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is too good for a five star rating, so it's got to be a virtual six. You are an amazing storyteller, Tony, this was brilliant. I felt so sorry for the poor Major, he was a real live hero, and ended up being called a conman. I'm sure if this was a true story, and there must be a few like the Major, his sense of relief came because the story itself was a burden, that many who were with him didn't make it. Wonderful story, Tony! Well done. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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This is too good for a five star rating, so it's got to be a virtual six. You are an amazing storyteller, Tony, this was brilliant. I felt so sorry for the poor Major, he was a real live hero, and ended up being called a conman. I'm sure if this was a true story, and there must be a few like the Major, his sense of relief came because the story itself was a burden, that many who were with him didn't make it. Wonderful story, Tony! Well done. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks, Sandra. Lovely comments and much appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Mistydawn
What a story. Like always, it's very well-written, interesting start to finish. Your dialogue seems realistic and your characters come to life. I guess when your time is up it's up. There's no getting around it but what a heck of a way to go.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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What a story. Like always, it's very well-written, interesting start to finish. Your dialogue seems realistic and your characters come to life. I guess when your time is up it's up. There's no getting around it but what a heck of a way to go.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks, Dawn. I appreciate your review and supportive comments. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from estory
This had a subtle, eerie mood to it. It seems harmless on the surface, starting off with the schoolboys pedaling to school and getting their grammar lesson. But the teacher taking his pistol out of his pocket and pointing it at the window and pulling the trigger raises the alarm bells and ratchets up the tension. A great bit of foreshadowing. When he pulls out the gun again and points it at his temple the tension goes up again. We feel the self destructive mental instability teetering out of control. He fires at the sink and we have to feel what might have been. estory
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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This had a subtle, eerie mood to it. It seems harmless on the surface, starting off with the schoolboys pedaling to school and getting their grammar lesson. But the teacher taking his pistol out of his pocket and pointing it at the window and pulling the trigger raises the alarm bells and ratchets up the tension. A great bit of foreshadowing. When he pulls out the gun again and points it at his temple the tension goes up again. We feel the self destructive mental instability teetering out of control. He fires at the sink and we have to feel what might have been. estory
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks for the sixth star, estory. I appreciate your detailed comments and analysis.
Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Mary Furlong
This story is as beautifully written as one of your poems and is indeed very poetic in its own way. The 'personal pronoun' that I would ascribe to it is 'I' - the desperation of a man. Whose sense of self lies in the opinion of others. I'm probably far afield, but I truly enjoyed this exploration of character.
One small note: I think the correct spelling is 'pedaled.' But maybe both ways are right.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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This story is as beautifully written as one of your poems and is indeed very poetic in its own way. The 'personal pronoun' that I would ascribe to it is 'I' - the desperation of a man. Whose sense of self lies in the opinion of others. I'm probably far afield, but I truly enjoyed this exploration of character.
One small note: I think the correct spelling is 'pedaled.' But maybe both ways are right.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks for the sixth star, Mary. Lovely comments and much appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
(ps ?pedalled? is the UK spelling)
Comment from oliver818
This is a very well-written and interesting story, I really enjoyed reading it. I'm glad the fun didn't go off in class in his ear though. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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This is a very well-written and interesting story, I really enjoyed reading it. I'm glad the fun didn't go off in class in his ear though. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks, Oliver. I appreciate your comments. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
SSSSSStunning piece. Wry and clever humor--like toads waiting to be kissed--delightful subject/object lesson--then the odd bit with Evans reprimanding him--then the puzzling tear in Evan's eye--all becomes clear in the finale--What a twist!--then comes the coy disclaimer about their being common names. Magnificent! Cheerssssss. LIZ
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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SSSSSStunning piece. Wry and clever humor--like toads waiting to be kissed--delightful subject/object lesson--then the odd bit with Evans reprimanding him--then the puzzling tear in Evan's eye--all becomes clear in the finale--What a twist!--then comes the coy disclaimer about their being common names. Magnificent! Cheerssssss. LIZ
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks, Liz. Sssix ssstars! Wow! I appreciate your very kind comments. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Cindy Warren
Fletcher sounds like a lonely old man looking for someone to impress. You'd think a former military guy would have the sense to check all the chambers in his gun before he took it into a school, but who knows? Maybe on some level he wanted to shoot himself.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Fletcher sounds like a lonely old man looking for someone to impress. You'd think a former military guy would have the sense to check all the chambers in his gun before he took it into a school, but who knows? Maybe on some level he wanted to shoot himself.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks, Cindy. Good to hear from you. You're right - Fletcher had internal wounds as well as his gammy leg. Best wishes, Tony