This Time - That Time 3
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Aunt Amelia's Fears."Third book in the time travel trilogy
30 total reviews
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Well done as always. Yes if Charles hears Gladys is going to the rally, she will be in big trouble. But it sounds as if she may be anyway. Looking forward to seeing how things turn out. Rox
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Well done as always. Yes if Charles hears Gladys is going to the rally, she will be in big trouble. But it sounds as if she may be anyway. Looking forward to seeing how things turn out. Rox
Comment Written 03-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much, Rox, for another of your lovely reviews. These women did take enormous risks, most going against their husbands orders. What an awful way to live. :( Thanks again, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from aryr
A good chapter Sandra. You provided wonderfully detailed descriptions of Gladys and her Aunt Amelia; who knows how Charles can be, brutally nasty. I do believe Mildred has her work cut out for her for the next day. Veronica is at least the unseen person who can go places she wouldn't be able to. A great level of suspense throughout. Well done, thanks for sharing, big hugs and smiles.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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A good chapter Sandra. You provided wonderfully detailed descriptions of Gladys and her Aunt Amelia; who knows how Charles can be, brutally nasty. I do believe Mildred has her work cut out for her for the next day. Veronica is at least the unseen person who can go places she wouldn't be able to. A great level of suspense throughout. Well done, thanks for sharing, big hugs and smiles.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Yes, Veronica will be doing what she does best, soon, and having fun as well. :)) Thank you, my friend, you have always been so supportive and I really appreciate it. Big hugs, Sandra xxxx
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You are so welcome Sandra, your writing is very enjoyable. Hugs
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Charles is a real problem. I'd shoot him. Everyone had guns back then, for hunting if not for protection. One bullet between the eyes and Charles will never hit Gladys again. Hard to believe that's illegal.
But murder aside, good chapter. How will Amelia enter into the plot, I wonder. She is aunt to Charles, who evidently takes after his father, Amelia's brother. You make great characters. :)
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Charles is a real problem. I'd shoot him. Everyone had guns back then, for hunting if not for protection. One bullet between the eyes and Charles will never hit Gladys again. Hard to believe that's illegal.
But murder aside, good chapter. How will Amelia enter into the plot, I wonder. She is aunt to Charles, who evidently takes after his father, Amelia's brother. You make great characters. :)
Comment Written 02-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Thank you so very much, my dear friend, for the 6 lovely shiners! Yes, I agree, even today it's illegal to hit back with a knife shoved in an abusers heart. There would a lot less abuse if we could! Sometimes the law is an ass.
Thanks for the lovely review, my friend, you it was a lovely way to wake up and start my day. Big hugs, always. Sandra xxxx
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job wit this chapter, Sandra. I enjoyed reading it. I like the interaction with the 3 ladies. Readers learn much from their discussions. Everything looks/reads great. Thanks for sharing. I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter. Jan
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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You did a good job wit this chapter, Sandra. I enjoyed reading it. I like the interaction with the 3 ladies. Readers learn much from their discussions. Everything looks/reads great. Thanks for sharing. I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter. Jan
Comment Written 02-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much, Jan, for your really nice review. I'm so pleased you are still enjoying my story. Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
They haven't found the reason for their visit to that time in the past. Is it about the Suffragette's or about the abuse that women suffered at the hands of their husbands?
This might get confusing for Mildred to have Veronica as a silent unseen entity. Mildred might forget and start talking to her. LOL That is a new twist to the story. Good Job. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
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They haven't found the reason for their visit to that time in the past. Is it about the Suffragette's or about the abuse that women suffered at the hands of their husbands?
This might get confusing for Mildred to have Veronica as a silent unseen entity. Mildred might forget and start talking to her. LOL That is a new twist to the story. Good Job. :) Nancy
Comment Written 02-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
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Thank you, Nancy. The reason will become clear in the very near future, starting next time, and then all hell will be let loose after that. Veronica will be far more vocal then. :)) Not telling you anything else! LOL. Thank you, my friend, for your lovely review. :)) Big hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Sandra,
Good continuation in this instalment. it's an interesting dynamic having Mildred visible and Veronica there in spirit.
"Quick, look in your purse and see if there are any coins in there,"- should be a full stop rather than a comma here before the closing speech marks.
A smiling maid opened the door stood aside to let Gladys and Mildred through.- should probably have the conjunctive after door, or a comma.
she had no idea what Gladys's aunts full name was - aunt's.
"Try keepin' me away," - full stop rather than comma at the end here before the closing speech marks.
Amelia looked stricken "I am so sorry! That was most rude of me." - need punctuation after stricken here.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
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Hi Sandra,
Good continuation in this instalment. it's an interesting dynamic having Mildred visible and Veronica there in spirit.
"Quick, look in your purse and see if there are any coins in there,"- should be a full stop rather than a comma here before the closing speech marks.
A smiling maid opened the door stood aside to let Gladys and Mildred through.- should probably have the conjunctive after door, or a comma.
she had no idea what Gladys's aunts full name was - aunt's.
"Try keepin' me away," - full stop rather than comma at the end here before the closing speech marks.
Amelia looked stricken "I am so sorry! That was most rude of me." - need punctuation after stricken here.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much, Gareth. I'm not making excuses it's my own fault, but I had a review that had me change a few things which I should also have realised I had to change a couple of commas to full-stops. Urghh! One day I'll get it right! lol! I'm glad you followed behind and swept them up for me. Thanks, my friend. Should you find a dinosaur in one of these parts, let me know, won't you? It would have escaped from my Eric book!! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from JDRBAR
Another wonderful chapter. You described the setting so well I felt I was sitting in the room with Amelia and Mildred. I'm still a tad confused as to what Emily's accident had to do with the suffragettes but I'm sure I'll figure it out. LOL
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
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Another wonderful chapter. You described the setting so well I felt I was sitting in the room with Amelia and Mildred. I'm still a tad confused as to what Emily's accident had to do with the suffragettes but I'm sure I'll figure it out. LOL
Comment Written 02-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
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Hi Diane, thank you so much for the 6 stars, that is so kind of you. Emily's accident is only relevant for what is about to happen, and the consequences that will bring on. It will hopefully all become clear after the next part. Going back a review, remember you mentioned the thoughts and feelings of Emily when she slipped through the railing? The most important point I forgot about not being able to write about them, other than the factual side, this is all being told by Veronica, so anything that she sees can only be told in her voice. I was trying so hard to explain to you, I forgot to mention that point. :( Anyway, I thought I'd mention it in case it happens again. This story is a lot more complicated than the other two! lol. Thank you, my friend, for your lovely review. Big hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from l.raven
HI Sandra, where their staying...I wouldn't mind going there myself...LOL...sounds beautiful...Amelia seems like a very caring lady...(to bad her name didn't show up on the characters list)bottom page...LOL...I mean I like her...LOL...the only thing we can do...is wait until tomorrow and see what happens...Mildred needs to be very careful...another awesome chapter my sweet wonderful friend...and I love this picture...perfect cover...soooooooo well written sweet angel...one thing about this story...I never lose interest...I always look for the next chapter...dancing...love you soooo much...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
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HI Sandra, where their staying...I wouldn't mind going there myself...LOL...sounds beautiful...Amelia seems like a very caring lady...(to bad her name didn't show up on the characters list)bottom page...LOL...I mean I like her...LOL...the only thing we can do...is wait until tomorrow and see what happens...Mildred needs to be very careful...another awesome chapter my sweet wonderful friend...and I love this picture...perfect cover...soooooooo well written sweet angel...one thing about this story...I never lose interest...I always look for the next chapter...dancing...love you soooo much...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 01-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
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I will hot-foot it over to the credits straight away and add Aunt Amelia!!! LOL. Thank you, my dear friend, for your lovely review. Can you honestly see Mildred being careful? She is a law unto herself, when it comes to wanting to help someone. I find her very hard to control, when ever I put her into a situation, she goes off on her own and I'm left wondering what I'm supposed to write! You have no idea of the hard time I have sometimes, Linda!! LOL. I'm glad you never lose interest, Veronica is going to find it quite challenging soon. :)) Thank you my wonderful friend. Love you lots too! Big hugs. :)) Sandra xxxx
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LOL..Mildred sounds like me...off and running...when my sister calls me now...first thing she asks me...where are you now???...are you close???...LOL...Mildred will have to walk on tip toes with Charles...or she will make more trouble...and my heart goes out you...but when things get to hard...ask Graham what he thinks...LOL...smile my sweet friend...LOL...and you are always so welcome....loveeeeeeeeee you...biggerest hugs....smiling back at you...Linda xxoo
Comment from rama devi
Another good chapter dear, though it has some spag nits (noted below). I love how Mildred shook off the doldrums so swiftly. Good characterization. As usual, except dialog and diction. Fine pacing. Fine development of plot.
NOTES
* What was to have been a feast of celebration,(no comma) had now become the cause of much wretchedness.
*"Quick, look in your purse and see if there are any coins in there," I told her.
Speech tag not required. Reader already knows who speaks to whom (from context).
"Quick, look in your purse and see if there are any coins in there."
* She then turned to Gladys with an anxious expression. (no line break before the dialog starting "I ... I really don't know now,"
*
Mildred looked relieved,(no ,) but protested all the same.
* The door was immediately opened by a smiling maid who stood aside to let Gladys and Mildred through.
Passive voicing. Wordy. Suggest:
A smiling maid opened the door and stood aside to let Gladys and Mildred through.
* The maid hurried off(delete and)(.) m(M)oments later, an elegantly dressed lady,(no ,) with silver-grey hair came bustling through to the reception hall.
With above edits:
The maid hurried off. Moments later, an elegantly dressed lady with silver-grey hair came bustling through to the reception hall.
*Come, let's go into the drawing room(,) and I will tell you all about it."
* Amelia suddenly noticed Mildred,(no ,) and gave a faltering smile.
* I have plenty of spare rooms,(no ,) and would welcome the company.
* "Now, let's go into the drawing room(,) and I'll have tea brought through."
*Amelia turned to the maid(,) who was still standing there waiting to take Gladys and Mildreds' parasols and gloves.
*"Don't forget, I grew up with his father(,) and I know he's of the same disposition."
*She cast a nervous look towards Mildred,(no ,) and was given a reassuring smile.
***Remember - commas after AND are only sued when followed by an independent clause.
* Mildred closed the curtains,(no ,) and turned back to Gladys.
*
"No need for that, dear girl,(.) I'll lend you what you need(,) and you can repay me next time you come to London."
* I'll call for you in the morning(,) and we can join the march together
*speech tag not needed here:
"Try keepin' me away," Mildred replied.
* Once Gladys had gone, Mildred flopped down on the bed and looked up at me and grinned.
trim first AND
Once Gladys had gone, Mildred flopped down on the bed, looked up at me and grinned.
* "It's been a long day, hasn't it? I think you'll sleep well tonight," I said softly.
instead of using 'SAID SOFTLY' why not find a stronger verb. Like MURMURED, for example.
Five stars in advance, knowing you fix those nits!
Lots of Love,
rd
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
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Another good chapter dear, though it has some spag nits (noted below). I love how Mildred shook off the doldrums so swiftly. Good characterization. As usual, except dialog and diction. Fine pacing. Fine development of plot.
NOTES
* What was to have been a feast of celebration,(no comma) had now become the cause of much wretchedness.
*"Quick, look in your purse and see if there are any coins in there," I told her.
Speech tag not required. Reader already knows who speaks to whom (from context).
"Quick, look in your purse and see if there are any coins in there."
* She then turned to Gladys with an anxious expression. (no line break before the dialog starting "I ... I really don't know now,"
*
Mildred looked relieved,(no ,) but protested all the same.
* The door was immediately opened by a smiling maid who stood aside to let Gladys and Mildred through.
Passive voicing. Wordy. Suggest:
A smiling maid opened the door and stood aside to let Gladys and Mildred through.
* The maid hurried off(delete and)(.) m(M)oments later, an elegantly dressed lady,(no ,) with silver-grey hair came bustling through to the reception hall.
With above edits:
The maid hurried off. Moments later, an elegantly dressed lady with silver-grey hair came bustling through to the reception hall.
*Come, let's go into the drawing room(,) and I will tell you all about it."
* Amelia suddenly noticed Mildred,(no ,) and gave a faltering smile.
* I have plenty of spare rooms,(no ,) and would welcome the company.
* "Now, let's go into the drawing room(,) and I'll have tea brought through."
*Amelia turned to the maid(,) who was still standing there waiting to take Gladys and Mildreds' parasols and gloves.
*"Don't forget, I grew up with his father(,) and I know he's of the same disposition."
*She cast a nervous look towards Mildred,(no ,) and was given a reassuring smile.
***Remember - commas after AND are only sued when followed by an independent clause.
* Mildred closed the curtains,(no ,) and turned back to Gladys.
*
"No need for that, dear girl,(.) I'll lend you what you need(,) and you can repay me next time you come to London."
* I'll call for you in the morning(,) and we can join the march together
*speech tag not needed here:
"Try keepin' me away," Mildred replied.
* Once Gladys had gone, Mildred flopped down on the bed and looked up at me and grinned.
trim first AND
Once Gladys had gone, Mildred flopped down on the bed, looked up at me and grinned.
* "It's been a long day, hasn't it? I think you'll sleep well tonight," I said softly.
instead of using 'SAID SOFTLY' why not find a stronger verb. Like MURMURED, for example.
Five stars in advance, knowing you fix those nits!
Lots of Love,
rd
Comment Written 01-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
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Thank you so very much, Rama, for your really helpful review. I have made all the corrections, and must learn about the commas again. I know I'm dreadful when it comes to putting one in where I shouldn't. :( Thanks for the helpful hints too, my friend, I really appreciate them. Big hugs! :)) Sandra xxx
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Thanks, dear Sandra. The main issue relates to using a comma after a conjunction (And, But, To, etc.), which should be done if the subsequent clause is independent (which means, if the last clause after the comma could stand a lone as a separate sentence with its own subject). A dependent clause shares the subject with the first one.
Anyway, I am here to help!
Love and hugs,
rd xxoo
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is a great addition to the previous installments. I do enjoy reading this story. I can't wait to see what happens next. I really like Mildred's new role.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
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This is a great addition to the previous installments. I do enjoy reading this story. I can't wait to see what happens next. I really like Mildred's new role.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much, Barbara, for your lovely review. I'm so pleased you like Mildred in this role. Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx