Songs
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "One In A Million"Song lyrics with music attached
14 total reviews
Comment from SuperOlivia13
Very Catchy! Nice! You could be a great song writer when you grow up! Your writing really touched me and I hope that you continue to write like that. Happy Holidays and Write On! :)
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reply by the author on 25-Dec-2015
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Very Catchy! Nice! You could be a great song writer when you grow up! Your writing really touched me and I hope that you continue to write like that. Happy Holidays and Write On! :)
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Comment Written 24-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2015
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Hi. I'm so pleased you enjoyed. Thank you kindly, mikey
Comment from rama devi
Love that Bobby quote!
You've got a sweet singing voice, Mikey. There was a lot of static background sound, so I could not make out all the words in the recording but I LOVE the melody on one in a million. Lovely.
Suggestion for smoother enjambment here:
It's a million people marching(--)
a million hands to hold
* spag:
and their(THEY'RE not THEIR) strong in their conviction
secure within the fold
* optional suggestions:
and I see your shining face(,)
a little girl all alone(,)
LOVE THIS:
and I can't wait for you to grow
to show
what you know
what only you know
Potent chorus:
For one in a million
will march alone
Oh, one in a million
will march alone
Love the references here:
It's a million people marching
and I look o'er the crowd
and I look for Martin Luther
and Bobby walking proud
LOVE THIS CONCEPT:
and I wonder who among you
will step out of the crowd
and show us what you know
what only you know
If you decide to have no other end-line punctuation, then I suggest removing this period:
Oh, oh, one
in a million
will march alone.
But I also strongly recommend using minimal punctuation style so the enjambment lines can be read smoothly without thinking about the form...so readers can concentrate on the message.
Just my two cents, dear friend.
Happy holidays. Enjoyed the sound of your voice! Excellent lyrics!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2015
|
Love that Bobby quote!
You've got a sweet singing voice, Mikey. There was a lot of static background sound, so I could not make out all the words in the recording but I LOVE the melody on one in a million. Lovely.
Suggestion for smoother enjambment here:
It's a million people marching(--)
a million hands to hold
* spag:
and their(THEY'RE not THEIR) strong in their conviction
secure within the fold
* optional suggestions:
and I see your shining face(,)
a little girl all alone(,)
LOVE THIS:
and I can't wait for you to grow
to show
what you know
what only you know
Potent chorus:
For one in a million
will march alone
Oh, one in a million
will march alone
Love the references here:
It's a million people marching
and I look o'er the crowd
and I look for Martin Luther
and Bobby walking proud
LOVE THIS CONCEPT:
and I wonder who among you
will step out of the crowd
and show us what you know
what only you know
If you decide to have no other end-line punctuation, then I suggest removing this period:
Oh, oh, one
in a million
will march alone.
But I also strongly recommend using minimal punctuation style so the enjambment lines can be read smoothly without thinking about the form...so readers can concentrate on the message.
Just my two cents, dear friend.
Happy holidays. Enjoyed the sound of your voice! Excellent lyrics!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 24-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2015
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Oh, thank you so much for the corrections. I forget with song lyrics all about punctuation and even spelling sometimes. I get focused on the music and treat it differently than a poem. These are great improvements. I'll get to them in the next day or two. I'll also remember I'm a writer too when I post my lyrics. Thanks so much. I hope you have the greatest Holidays. Regards, mikey
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You're a good songwriter, dear Mikey. I like your tuning and singing too. Have a great holiday season! Warm regards, rd
Comment from Linda Kay
I like the message here, that we do not know who will be our future dreamers to start a wave of change. The lyrics can stand alone and fit well into a song format. Good job!
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2015
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I like the message here, that we do not know who will be our future dreamers to start a wave of change. The lyrics can stand alone and fit well into a song format. Good job!
Comment Written 24-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2015
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I too wonder who and have been for a very long time. So pleased you enjoyed. Thank you, mikey
Comment from Zue65
Wow, the author does have what it takes to be a country singer. Is it really your voice? It sounds cool. I also enjoyed reading this lyrical poem and the repetition of the selected lines amplified your message. Yes, one particular person may just touch our lives immensely, just like what Bobby Kennedy did for you. Thanks for sharing this song,
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reply by the author on 25-Dec-2015
|
Wow, the author does have what it takes to be a country singer. Is it really your voice? It sounds cool. I also enjoyed reading this lyrical poem and the repetition of the selected lines amplified your message. Yes, one particular person may just touch our lives immensely, just like what Bobby Kennedy did for you. Thanks for sharing this song,
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2015
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Wow, I'm so delighted you enjoyed this. Yes, it's me. :)) I shall be smiling a while. Thank you so much. mikey