Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

This is a sad poem and I feel the poets hopelessness in this poem. 'My dreams are bound to die,' says a lot. The line is a good one for this kind of poem. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Glad you enjoyed it. Have a nice day.

Comment from Eternal Muse

Exceptional

This is a classically beautiful Villanelle, which to me, exceeded both examples by Sylvia Platt and Dylan Thomas. I admired its effortless ease, which is hard to accomplish when the form requires repeating lines. Loved the melancholic tone of it which fits the "love, loss and challenge" topic requirement for the form. A tastefully chosen artwork and artistic presentation add to the pleasure of reading.

Come mourning night, no star will grace the sky,
and moon will drape himself in cloak of black.
Devoid of light, my dreams are bound to die.

Bravo! This should be published.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015

Wow! Thanks a lot for this uplifting, positive feedack, Yelena. I'm thrilled you enjoyed this so much. Your comments surely made my day. Glad to know it could convey the desired melancholy. Thanks for the glowing stars, too!

Regards,
Anupam

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

The requiem of darkness makes me sigh -

my life's like smoke, where hopes begin to slack.

Come mourning night no star will grace the night
I like the word requiem I like the repeat refrain come mourning night..
There is a sadness
God bless

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015

Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts! Glad you liked the refrain lines. Have a nice day!

Comment from Pili Pubul

Exceptional

Excellent Villanelle in perfect style, deep emotional impact in the
excellent description ,emotional imagery of mourning.
A poem to remember. Pili

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015

Thanks for the lovely comments and glowing stars, Pili. So pleased you found it appealing and worth remembering. Enjoy the day!

reply by Pili Pubul on 03-Sep-2015

My pleasure...

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

I love the villenelle form and your poem did not disappoint:) It was beautifully written. Great rhyme and meter. Good luck in the contest.

Teresa

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015

Thanks for reading and reviewing, Teresa! :)

Comment from angel123

Excellent

Your poem is interesting and I enjoyed reading it. It held my attention and it flows well. It also rhymes well and your artwork picture goes well with it. Your poem type and style is interesting. I will have to try it.

Angel123

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015

Thanks for reading and positive comments, Angel! You'll enjoy writing in this form. Enjoy the day. :)

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This villanelle, Come Mourning Night, does a great job of staying on the point and never sounding like a formulaic poem. The mood remains bleak and losing hope through to the end.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015

Thanks for the positive review, Bill! Have a great day ahead!

Comment from JudyS

Exceptional

Anupam, Wow, this is wonderful. You did a great job of writing on this contest entry. And it's a winning entry. You set the mood very well and chose the perfect picture to go with it. Best of luck! Well done. Have a great week. Judy

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015

Thanks for your kind comments and rating, Judy. Much appreciated. Hope you're done with the household chores, and find time to write soon. Have a wonderful week, my friend.

Regards,
Anupam

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Hi Anupam. I am really enjoying this Villanelle series and yours is no exception.

The overall tone of absolute darkness so well delineated in the opening tercet is beautifully woven throughout with the repeating lines and images. Yes, even dreams need light to grow.

Tasteful use of internal rhymes, lending form to the inevitable and never ending descent into darkness.

I wonder about this particular line:

in wait - this sudden silence's hard to hack.

I stumbled on that, and thought it might read easier if written: this sudden silence hard to hack. That doesn't change the meter at all.

Love this line:
null eyes now sleep, too scared of looking back. Null eyes, a blind void and will stay that way without the history to feed the soul.

All in all this is an excellent Villanelle.

Best wishes to you in the contest.

Gloria

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015

Thanks for this wonderful review, Gloria! You have noticed the little details as well, so I really appreciate it. I'll surely have a look into the line you have mentioned. Glad to know you found it dark and beautiful. Thanks for good luck wishes, too. Have a great day ahead!

Regards,
Anupam

Comment from catch22

Excellent

Hi Anupam, this is a very sad and haunting villanelle--perfect subject matter for the form. You've used steady iambic meter throughout and the repeat lines work very well due to clever punctuation choices in each tercet. They worked very well together in the quatrain. I did think the rhymes of "Slack" and "hack" seemed a bit forced for the elegant nature of this poem. They kind of stuck out for me. Just thought I'd let you know . Overall, it's a beautiful entry for the contest. Best of luck to you.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015

Thanks for this lovely review, Gail! I'd see if I can still manage to have those rhymes replaced. I'm delighted that you found the refrain lines meaningful and effective. It was a good exercise to do in the free time I'm having. Thanks for your warm wishes as well.

Regards,
Anupam