Lost!
Story- A high flight of imagination.41 total reviews
Comment from Thewriterwithnoname
A very trippy story, I hope you didn't take anything to get the inspiration for it haha. So am I to take it that the protagonist set off the bomb at the end? If so it was an interesting twist, albeit out of left field. A few issues I had were that there were too many short sentences which made the flow choppy, and there were a few typos here and there (enquired instead of inquired), and some missing commas. Good read for flash fiction.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
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A very trippy story, I hope you didn't take anything to get the inspiration for it haha. So am I to take it that the protagonist set off the bomb at the end? If so it was an interesting twist, albeit out of left field. A few issues I had were that there were too many short sentences which made the flow choppy, and there were a few typos here and there (enquired instead of inquired), and some missing commas. Good read for flash fiction.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
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Hello Friend,
I like your 1st sentence emitting your good sense of humor.
I am glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you very much for your lovely, encouraging and positive comments backed by Excellent Rating.
Have a pleasant time!
~RP.
Comment from Bryana
I was interested in your story from the beginning,
sign of an excellent writer. I know is fiction but
the I felt as if I was reading a true story. It took
me to different worlds. It was a fantastic read.
What a pity you had to wake up to such destruction.
You certainly have a wonderful imagination.
I wish good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
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I was interested in your story from the beginning,
sign of an excellent writer. I know is fiction but
the I felt as if I was reading a true story. It took
me to different worlds. It was a fantastic read.
What a pity you had to wake up to such destruction.
You certainly have a wonderful imagination.
I wish good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
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Hello Bryana,
What a wonderful review this is!
I am glad you enjoyed it so much.
Thank you very much for your so lovely, morale boosting comments and Good Luck Wishes backed by the most coveted SIX STARS.
Have a pleasant time!
~RP.
Comment from royowen
A great and interesting journey into Nirvana RP, if only...I loved your description, it describes a world of selfless, unconditional grace, a place that can exist by uniform consent, the descriptive narrative was good with great imagery, pervading the piece, I thoroughly enjoyed, I love the touch at the being projected into present day reality, well done, well written, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
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A great and interesting journey into Nirvana RP, if only...I loved your description, it describes a world of selfless, unconditional grace, a place that can exist by uniform consent, the descriptive narrative was good with great imagery, pervading the piece, I thoroughly enjoyed, I love the touch at the being projected into present day reality, well done, well written, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
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Hello Roy,
What a wonderful review this is!
I am glad you enjoyed it so much.
Thank you very much for your so lovely, morale boosting comments and Blessings backed by the most coveted SIX STARS.
Have a pleasant time!
~RP.
Comment from Eric1
Hi RPS, this is a fantastic entry for this flash writing competition my friend, the imagery and description used are brilliant, I got this overwhelming feeling that you could have turned the earlier part of your story into a really good book, the opportunities for imagination on a planet like that would have been endless, Good luck my friend.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Hi RPS, this is a fantastic entry for this flash writing competition my friend, the imagery and description used are brilliant, I got this overwhelming feeling that you could have turned the earlier part of your story into a really good book, the opportunities for imagination on a planet like that would have been endless, Good luck my friend.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Hello Eric1,
What a wonderful review this is!
I am glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you very much for your so lovely, morale boosting comments and Good Luck Wishes.
Have a pleasant time!
~RP.
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It was my pleasure RP, thank you for writing it!
Comment from rjuselius
this is an interesting piece of literary art! it seems somehow a little childish, not sure if that's supposed to be the overtone. however i did enjoy the description of the universe.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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this is an interesting piece of literary art! it seems somehow a little childish, not sure if that's supposed to be the overtone. however i did enjoy the description of the universe.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Hello Friend
I am glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you very much for your, on the whole, encouraging comments and Good Luck Wishes.
Have a pleasant time!
~RP.
Comment from FJTrickster
Well. That was certainly interesting to read. Your style threw me off a little but I liked the whimsical nature of the feeling and I loved how you ended it. That seemed very appropriate.
Some parts confused me, though it maybe due to your style so I'm sorry if you did these on purpose.
"I had started feeling self-confidence and began to enjoy fabulous sight of the celestial bodies"
This one just grated on me. I really this it should read "I started feeling..." not "I had started feeling" or if you'd rather the reverse then the second half should read "...and had begun to enjoy...". Otherwise your verb tense is inconsistent and confusing.
""What I have to do?""
Since this is dialogue maybe you were doing this on purpose but I'm pretty sure you meant to say "What DO I have to do?" because it doesn't make any sense as is.
Honestly it was a fun little flash to read. I like your style, but it's not what I'm used to so I got a little discombobulated. For the whimsical feeling of this piece that's not a bad thing. I just couldn't keep up with it.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Well. That was certainly interesting to read. Your style threw me off a little but I liked the whimsical nature of the feeling and I loved how you ended it. That seemed very appropriate.
Some parts confused me, though it maybe due to your style so I'm sorry if you did these on purpose.
"I had started feeling self-confidence and began to enjoy fabulous sight of the celestial bodies"
This one just grated on me. I really this it should read "I started feeling..." not "I had started feeling" or if you'd rather the reverse then the second half should read "...and had begun to enjoy...". Otherwise your verb tense is inconsistent and confusing.
""What I have to do?""
Since this is dialogue maybe you were doing this on purpose but I'm pretty sure you meant to say "What DO I have to do?" because it doesn't make any sense as is.
Honestly it was a fun little flash to read. I like your style, but it's not what I'm used to so I got a little discombobulated. For the whimsical feeling of this piece that's not a bad thing. I just couldn't keep up with it.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Hello F JTrickster,
I am glad you enjoyed it.
As a matter of fact, it was my first attempt in this field i.e. the field of writing something in prose and, at several places, I have intentionally tried to give the flavor of spoken English.
Thank you very much for your nice comments and suggestions.
Have a pleasant time!
~RP.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Your flash fiction story sets the stage for the possibility of expanding this piece into to a full fledged book. That is if you're interested in taking on such a feat. Great job. :-)
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Your flash fiction story sets the stage for the possibility of expanding this piece into to a full fledged book. That is if you're interested in taking on such a feat. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Hello Ric Myworld,
I am glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you very much for your so lovely and morale boosting comments backed by Excellent Rating.
Have a pleasant time!
~RP.
Comment from Millibrad
As flight of the imagination go, this one was lovely. I liked the part where the alien said "You can have whatever is worth having," and imagined myself highlighting this. I enjoyed reading your story and wish you well in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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As flight of the imagination go, this one was lovely. I liked the part where the alien said "You can have whatever is worth having," and imagined myself highlighting this. I enjoyed reading your story and wish you well in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Hello Millibrad,
I am glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you very much for your so lovely, morale boosting comments and Good Luck Wishes.
Have a pleasant time!
~RP.
Comment from godlucifer
having a memory is like having a dream. our memory fades into our dream. our memory fades but we still have a memory of what we dream about. whats lost can fade but we still have that lost of a vision by our dream. your story was well constructed and well written with muse. i enjoyed n reading your story. thanks for the read. "your so vein" means mood or humor.
your so vein
godlucifer
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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having a memory is like having a dream. our memory fades into our dream. our memory fades but we still have a memory of what we dream about. whats lost can fade but we still have that lost of a vision by our dream. your story was well constructed and well written with muse. i enjoyed n reading your story. thanks for the read. "your so vein" means mood or humor.
your so vein
godlucifer
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Hello Godlucifer,
I am glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you very much for your so lovely, morale boosting comments and Excellent Rating.
Have a pleasant time!
~RP.
Comment from dennis0530
Since what was lost was in a dream, you can recover it in another dream. It is said that if one concentrates enough, an interrupted dream can continue. But since this is a flight of imagination, lose no time in regaining it by imagination.
The mind can create and expand its own universe. We have an expression, "Imagination knows no bounds."
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Since what was lost was in a dream, you can recover it in another dream. It is said that if one concentrates enough, an interrupted dream can continue. But since this is a flight of imagination, lose no time in regaining it by imagination.
The mind can create and expand its own universe. We have an expression, "Imagination knows no bounds."
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Hello Dennis0530,
I am glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you very much for your so lovely, morale boosting comments and Excellent Rating.
Have a pleasant time!
~RP.
