Death Rattle
My more srious take on Rigor mortis, and death...63 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
Okay, you really know how build up the tempo. Well done, oh master of all things evil and creepy.
An evil [wizard's] parlor trick?
- I think you need this here.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
Okay, you really know how build up the tempo. Well done, oh master of all things evil and creepy.
An evil [wizard's] parlor trick?
- I think you need this here.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much for the outstanding comments, my friend. I'm glad you liked this one! :}
Comment from c_lucas
An excellent poem to aide the insomniac in staying awake. This is very well written with a evil flow of words, scaring the hell out of most readers.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
An excellent poem to aide the insomniac in staying awake. This is very well written with a evil flow of words, scaring the hell out of most readers.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Thanks very much for your thoughtful comments and exceptional rating of this poem, Charlie. I appreciate that sincerely! :)
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You're welcome, Dean. Charlie
Comment from Linda England Bonam
This poem was written very well. It was chilling, and the extra pictures and the burning candle were a nice touch that lent a little more drama to it! I liked this. And the author notes described the death rattle very well.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
This poem was written very well. It was chilling, and the extra pictures and the burning candle were a nice touch that lent a little more drama to it! I liked this. And the author notes described the death rattle very well.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much for the outstanding comments, my friend. I'm glad you liked this one! :}
Comment from Selina Stambi
Oh, Dean, Dean, my friend,
When are you going to write about flowers and butterlies 'n' things?
Such (nec)romance ...
Sonali :)
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
Oh, Dean, Dean, my friend,
When are you going to write about flowers and butterlies 'n' things?
Such (nec)romance ...
Sonali :)
Comment Written 08-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much for the outstanding comments, Reach, my dear friend. I'm glad you liked this one! :}
As to your query, Never, I'm afraid. Not my cuppa, LOL...
Comment from DSMalott
So good.
Even for a grotesque subject like this the flow, rhythm and structure were great. The selection of such craftily phrased lines made the scene on the death bed (or morgue for that matter) so real.
Very good.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2014
So good.
Even for a grotesque subject like this the flow, rhythm and structure were great. The selection of such craftily phrased lines made the scene on the death bed (or morgue for that matter) so real.
Very good.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the kind comments, thoughtful review and all those stars, my friend. I realize we are given so few to pass out, and I appreciate it all the more when my work has prompted someone to award my work as such.
I am very grateful to you. :)
Comment from L.M.Mullins
I can't seem to decide if I'm giving you a six for the graphics or the writing, they are both spectacular. I have a seizure disorder that only occurs in my sleep. My third wife called it a death raddle and swore I was possessed when I foamed at the mouth in my sleep.
Len
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2014
I can't seem to decide if I'm giving you a six for the graphics or the writing, they are both spectacular. I have a seizure disorder that only occurs in my sleep. My third wife called it a death raddle and swore I was possessed when I foamed at the mouth in my sleep.
Len
Comment Written 08-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the kind comments, thoughtful review and all those stars, my friend. I realize we are given so few to pass out, and I appreciate it all the more when my work has prompted someone to award my work as such.
I am very grateful to you. :)
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Dean:
I took my 5-year-old granddaughter to a "Halloween Screams" store this past Saturday to look at costumes, but we got caught up in all their displays instead. Your poem and all its animation would fit right in. Can Halloween be that far away?
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
Dean:
I took my 5-year-old granddaughter to a "Halloween Screams" store this past Saturday to look at costumes, but we got caught up in all their displays instead. Your poem and all its animation would fit right in. Can Halloween be that far away?
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
Comment Written 08-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much for the outstanding comments, my friend. I'm glad you liked this one! :}
Comment from vfbryant
Love the way you staged this poem, to get us ready for what was to follow. Also really enjoyed the mysterious spiritual battle going on and the dilemma of the person attempting to discover his place in time and space. The flow of the poem accentuated the "spookiness" of the situation. BTW, I think you meant to make 'wizards' possessive (wizard's).
The author's notes took something away from the poem, in my humble opinion. I think if you ended after the first part of the second paragraph, the potency of the poem would be better maintained. I know your intentions were to help us with "death rattle", but I think the details of it sort of took away from the atmosphere that the poem creates for us. This is a strong poem, and very well written. :)
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
Love the way you staged this poem, to get us ready for what was to follow. Also really enjoyed the mysterious spiritual battle going on and the dilemma of the person attempting to discover his place in time and space. The flow of the poem accentuated the "spookiness" of the situation. BTW, I think you meant to make 'wizards' possessive (wizard's).
The author's notes took something away from the poem, in my humble opinion. I think if you ended after the first part of the second paragraph, the potency of the poem would be better maintained. I know your intentions were to help us with "death rattle", but I think the details of it sort of took away from the atmosphere that the poem creates for us. This is a strong poem, and very well written. :)
Comment Written 08-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much for the outstanding comments, my friend. I'm glad you liked this one! :}
Comment from bard owl
What an eloquent poem of death! It reminds me of some of the pieces Poe has written. You voice what the dying might be feeling as the life leaves the body. And I have heard the death rattle at the time my mother-in-law passed away. It stirred such sadness in knowing she was not long for this world. Again, an elegant view of life and death. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2014
What an eloquent poem of death! It reminds me of some of the pieces Poe has written. You voice what the dying might be feeling as the life leaves the body. And I have heard the death rattle at the time my mother-in-law passed away. It stirred such sadness in knowing she was not long for this world. Again, an elegant view of life and death. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 08-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the kind comments, thoughtful review and all those stars, my friend. I realize we are given so few to pass out, and I appreciate it all the more when my work has prompted someone to award my work as such.
I am very grateful to you. :)
Comment from words
A well wrought verse.
I have volunteered in hospice, so I am familiar with the death rattle.
We used to listen for it, knowing that it signified that the end was here.
This had a Poe feeling to it.
Hugs, d
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2014
A well wrought verse.
I have volunteered in hospice, so I am familiar with the death rattle.
We used to listen for it, knowing that it signified that the end was here.
This had a Poe feeling to it.
Hugs, d
Comment Written 08-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much for the wonderful review. I really appreciate that! :}