Songs
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "The Life We Lived"Song lyrics with music attached
18 total reviews
Comment from Sagnik Das
I indeed chose to pause awhile to discover as to who the munificent person is, to have bequeathed me such a splendid review ... & ah! -- what a wonderful place to stop at! - an elegiac extravaganza fraught in such sublime aptness & dignity.
Exalted in narrative appeal (just the way a perfect Ode ought to be), the picturesque employment of descriptive metaphor, in contemplating such a heartfelt repository to penitence (if I am not wrong to catch that) - indeed deems commendable appraisal. This is perhaps one of the most innovative pieces in this 'Ode' genre I've chanced to peruse. With just two more days into the contest, I can safely foresee the prospect of its doing well, especially for two primary reasons :
1) It is composed in the Free-Verse poetic format (a trait quite unique for an Ode to have).
and
2) Owing to its Epigrammatic simplicity.
Entranced in thematic appeal, I like the characteristic undertone of somber melancholy, which it effectively employs, especially in the penultimate lines, to improvise an almost prosaic feel :
"And thus began the life we lived
And your heart kept mine beating a little longer
And your spirit haunted me as a spirit should
And your soul with but a casual brush " .... -- very Original & pre-meditative, both from the prospect of a free-styled cadence (not 'meter', mind you), & an innovative employment of consonance (especially the 'S' sounds) & fine assonance in phraseology [such as -- "And now you carry on" (in the concluding half of the poem)]. The enjambment, in particular proves handy in this regard ....
Even despite the aphoristic terseness, you manage to conjure so many charming sensibilities indeed (that last line in particular, wins me over! - what a most concise yet complete conclusion! - leaves the reader pensive under its reflective impact) ...... herein thrives, I suppose, your intrinsic vitality - as a poet - in luring your readers to your artful theme & context. I can never commend you enough ....
Sublime, yet most remarkably astute, with a promising ardor for "Platonic Romanticism", the rhythmic effect employed, is found particularly enchanting - flowing effortlessly, in an even sequence of epigrammatic revelation. Moreover , the subtle use of excellent symbolic diction, such as in the lines,
"Through the center of the earth
To who knows where
Splattered across a universe
I don't even know which one" .... --
indeed makes the work to stand out on its own - lends to it that enchanting touch ; that elegant ardor of poise & vitality.
You have a unique ability to transcend the infinite boundaries of time and space, and catapult your readers to another place, another time. It's a rare gift that one can do it so succinctly, yet one you most certainly possess. I think you are a very innovative & talented poet - I bow to you for your sincerity & dedication to your craft.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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I indeed chose to pause awhile to discover as to who the munificent person is, to have bequeathed me such a splendid review ... & ah! -- what a wonderful place to stop at! - an elegiac extravaganza fraught in such sublime aptness & dignity.
Exalted in narrative appeal (just the way a perfect Ode ought to be), the picturesque employment of descriptive metaphor, in contemplating such a heartfelt repository to penitence (if I am not wrong to catch that) - indeed deems commendable appraisal. This is perhaps one of the most innovative pieces in this 'Ode' genre I've chanced to peruse. With just two more days into the contest, I can safely foresee the prospect of its doing well, especially for two primary reasons :
1) It is composed in the Free-Verse poetic format (a trait quite unique for an Ode to have).
and
2) Owing to its Epigrammatic simplicity.
Entranced in thematic appeal, I like the characteristic undertone of somber melancholy, which it effectively employs, especially in the penultimate lines, to improvise an almost prosaic feel :
"And thus began the life we lived
And your heart kept mine beating a little longer
And your spirit haunted me as a spirit should
And your soul with but a casual brush " .... -- very Original & pre-meditative, both from the prospect of a free-styled cadence (not 'meter', mind you), & an innovative employment of consonance (especially the 'S' sounds) & fine assonance in phraseology [such as -- "And now you carry on" (in the concluding half of the poem)]. The enjambment, in particular proves handy in this regard ....
Even despite the aphoristic terseness, you manage to conjure so many charming sensibilities indeed (that last line in particular, wins me over! - what a most concise yet complete conclusion! - leaves the reader pensive under its reflective impact) ...... herein thrives, I suppose, your intrinsic vitality - as a poet - in luring your readers to your artful theme & context. I can never commend you enough ....
Sublime, yet most remarkably astute, with a promising ardor for "Platonic Romanticism", the rhythmic effect employed, is found particularly enchanting - flowing effortlessly, in an even sequence of epigrammatic revelation. Moreover , the subtle use of excellent symbolic diction, such as in the lines,
"Through the center of the earth
To who knows where
Splattered across a universe
I don't even know which one" .... --
indeed makes the work to stand out on its own - lends to it that enchanting touch ; that elegant ardor of poise & vitality.
You have a unique ability to transcend the infinite boundaries of time and space, and catapult your readers to another place, another time. It's a rare gift that one can do it so succinctly, yet one you most certainly possess. I think you are a very innovative & talented poet - I bow to you for your sincerity & dedication to your craft.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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wow. this is an astonishing and thoughtful review. I am so humbled by the thoughtfulness and depth of your words as well as the time you spent to convey them to me. this particular piece means a lot to me as it is the first thing I had written in fifteen years after abandoning writing and music out of frustration. I am so glad that I came home to do what I never should have left. that was about 15 years ago. I will never stop writing again especially with encouragement like you have given me here. I am on a cloud. warmest thanks and regards. mike
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Dear Mike,
Please don't thank me thus, I beg -- for it was the prodigal ingenuity of your own extraordinary work, that induced me to impart what I wrote .... Hence, the entire appraisal rather goes to you, you see -- & not to me by any means ... the kindness is therefore all yours, in condescending to like this modest review, for nothing save your benevolence beseems my incentive.
To tell you frankly, I find myself indescribably happy, when I see my fellow beings dwell in happiness -- reason, well, couldn't really figure out till date! (guess I am a wee bit 'sentimental') ... :)
I am inconceivably honored therefore, to partake of your courteous acquaintance, & bow to you in silent respect & gratitude for this overwhelming appreciation, wherewith you bestow my unworthy self.
And if I may insist : for Heaven's sake, never be dejected - NEVER EVER - for deep within your inward self, you know who you are - you are precious ...
Comment from Darkhorse555
a very beautiful piece of writing I really enjoyed following like a deer in headlights frozen you penned very beautiful piece
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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a very beautiful piece of writing I really enjoyed following like a deer in headlights frozen you penned very beautiful piece
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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some happy to hear this high praise. many thanks. mike
Comment from Bill Schott
You know this poem is so cool because it has me wondering if this is a one sided love affair, where one party is all in and the other is faking it. Or, whether the entire 'affair' is daydreaming that there is more to a friendship in one's mind than actually exists. What would be better is that it would exist for years like that. Makes me love the question that this poem poses.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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You know this poem is so cool because it has me wondering if this is a one sided love affair, where one party is all in and the other is faking it. Or, whether the entire 'affair' is daydreaming that there is more to a friendship in one's mind than actually exists. What would be better is that it would exist for years like that. Makes me love the question that this poem poses.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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when I wrote this it was absolutely one-sided. she was too young and I was too old and the competition was younger but, they couldn't write. ha! thank you for a great review. regards, mike
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This is a freely, confidently and faithfully endorsed a musical base with an ode in the honour of a woman that never knew how the state of love and world the speaker had fostered, dreamt of, well placed. 17/825
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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This is a freely, confidently and faithfully endorsed a musical base with an ode in the honour of a woman that never knew how the state of love and world the speaker had fostered, dreamt of, well placed. 17/825
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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what a wonderful review. this is so encouraging to me. honored and humbled. thank you so much. mike
Comment from madhatter1977
Great poem/ode Michael. I can certainly relate to this one. Beautifully written, expresses deep emotion about the one that got away or never knew until too late. The last line is haunting which you prefigure earlier. Very good poem my friend. All the best, Pete :)
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Great poem/ode Michael. I can certainly relate to this one. Beautifully written, expresses deep emotion about the one that got away or never knew until too late. The last line is haunting which you prefigure earlier. Very good poem my friend. All the best, Pete :)
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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so very pleased you liked this. very encouraged by your words. this is one of those that I wrote for myself not expecting anyone to see. then.....one just gets curious. thank you so very much. mike
Comment from AudreyRose
Beautiful job. A wonderful ode, the emotions were very clearly conveyed with great details that gave great imagery. You did another great job.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Beautiful job. A wonderful ode, the emotions were very clearly conveyed with great details that gave great imagery. You did another great job.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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just thrilled that you liked this. I really threw this one down and tried to convey the feeling without worrying about pretty words etc. so encouraged. thank you very much. mike
Comment from Sueellen11
Well one my friend, I thought it had a tempo, like a song, , my friend, I thing many readers can/ will rete to this one as most of us had/ have a love, that will never know they are being so loved, great song, blessings sueellen
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reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Well one my friend, I thought it had a tempo, like a song, , my friend, I thing many readers can/ will rete to this one as most of us had/ have a love, that will never know they are being so loved, great song, blessings sueellen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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I am so happy you enjoyed this. I really tried to just spill the feelings out without being overly wordy. it actually is a song. someone suggested to me to put it to music and it surprised me how easy that was considering the structure. great review and very encouraging words. thank you.
Comment from Tina McKala
This was really good, it actually really sounded like a song. Very good job, easy to read, to feel the feelings and your honest admiration! Lovely job!
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reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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This was really good, it actually really sounded like a song. Very good job, easy to read, to feel the feelings and your honest admiration! Lovely job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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it is a song. I wasn't aware that it was until someone challenged me to put it to music. great and encouraging review, thank you very much, mike