First Love Yourself
Lessons learned at fourteen38 total reviews
Comment from poetbear
Know it and love it.
I am recently retired NYC teacher and have lived this moment for myself and for my students.
From the bullies, the beauties, and the brainies.
You said it all and write it beautifully.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Know it and love it.
I am recently retired NYC teacher and have lived this moment for myself and for my students.
From the bullies, the beauties, and the brainies.
You said it all and write it beautifully.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Thank you for reading and the wonderful comments. Bill
Comment from jjstar
Okay, I was a little peeved at first when I saw that my favorite entry hadn't won (I hadn't read yours). After reading I understood loud and clear why this was the winner. The message was delivered through a clear and concise story. Not a prolonged and agonizing account of a moment in life. The balance of dialogue and narrative was beautiful. I will, for sure, post this in my classroom as soon as I get back to school. Just perfect! Congratulations!
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Okay, I was a little peeved at first when I saw that my favorite entry hadn't won (I hadn't read yours). After reading I understood loud and clear why this was the winner. The message was delivered through a clear and concise story. Not a prolonged and agonizing account of a moment in life. The balance of dialogue and narrative was beautiful. I will, for sure, post this in my classroom as soon as I get back to school. Just perfect! Congratulations!
Comment Written 22-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Thank you for your wonderful and kind review. I wish I could show up and share with your class! Bill
Comment from IndianaIrish
Bill, your story is one that is written well, has a message for every person who reads it, and it sure warmed my heart and made me feel,good ... about myself and how your story turned out for you.
Congratulations on your extremely well deserved win in the contest.
Smiles,
Indy : )
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Bill, your story is one that is written well, has a message for every person who reads it, and it sure warmed my heart and made me feel,good ... about myself and how your story turned out for you.
Congratulations on your extremely well deserved win in the contest.
Smiles,
Indy : )
Comment Written 22-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Indy - such warm and generous comments from a writer I admire ... Priceless. I'm sitting here, sipping wine and listening to Doc Watson. With your review, that's about as good as it gets! Warm regards, Bill
Comment from Contests
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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 A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry. |
Comment Written 22-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much!!!!!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This contest entry is excellent. I think I will search for that Popeye cartoon and show it to my class.
After a wait, he said, "Sit down. You're in trouble you know?" (comma after trouble)
He finally spoke. "Miss Taylor said that you disrupted her class. (comma after spoke)
I didn't say anything. Mr. Leister finally said, "Bill?" (asked not said, it's a question)
Taking a breath, I started. "Until last Friday, Susie Stine was my girlfriend. (comma after started)
Mr. Leister chewed on the end of his pencil before finally replying. "I know it hurts right now, but I believe you'll have lots of girlfriends in your life. (comma after replying)
He was, so I continued. "Popeye was really broken up (comma after continued)
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2013
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This contest entry is excellent. I think I will search for that Popeye cartoon and show it to my class.
After a wait, he said, "Sit down. You're in trouble you know?" (comma after trouble)
He finally spoke. "Miss Taylor said that you disrupted her class. (comma after spoke)
I didn't say anything. Mr. Leister finally said, "Bill?" (asked not said, it's a question)
Taking a breath, I started. "Until last Friday, Susie Stine was my girlfriend. (comma after started)
Mr. Leister chewed on the end of his pencil before finally replying. "I know it hurts right now, but I believe you'll have lots of girlfriends in your life. (comma after replying)
He was, so I continued. "Popeye was really broken up (comma after continued)
Comment Written 09-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2013
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Barbara - thank you so much for reading and for your willingness to help me become better. I made most of the changes, some I didn't, perhaps just style differences.
Have you been getting the monsoon rains? Been pretty wet here in the Carolinas.
Always warm regards, Bill
Comment from Writingfundimension
This essay couldn't have come at a better time, Bill. I found it very healing to read. Now that might be a bit embarrassing for a popeye type guy like you, but I want to thank you for putting this down and sharing your insights. Wish I had a six to give you - this piece is as deserving as any I've ever read. Good luck! Bev
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2013
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This essay couldn't have come at a better time, Bill. I found it very healing to read. Now that might be a bit embarrassing for a popeye type guy like you, but I want to thank you for putting this down and sharing your insights. Wish I had a six to give you - this piece is as deserving as any I've ever read. Good luck! Bev
Comment Written 08-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2013
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Hi Bev - if I were hung up on sixes, I would never release a story on Friday. Feedback is much more important to me, and yours was wonderful. Also, don't know about you, but sometimes when the moment strikes, I just write. Thank you very much, Bill
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You're welcome, Bill. I can, indeed, relate to the writing process you describe. Take care, Bev
Comment from josieg521
Point taken and story well written. Enjoyed the roundabout way you got to where you were going. Imagine that cartoons can actually teach life lessons? Who knew?
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2013
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Point taken and story well written. Enjoyed the roundabout way you got to where you were going. Imagine that cartoons can actually teach life lessons? Who knew?
Comment Written 08-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much for your kind and generous review! I very much appreciate! Bill
Comment from animatqua
I always like your down to earth style of writing. The story grabs me from the beginning. The characters are not fancy because they are so very real. Finally, the ending is something that stays with me for a long time.
Another good job, Bill!
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2013
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I always like your down to earth style of writing. The story grabs me from the beginning. The characters are not fancy because they are so very real. Finally, the ending is something that stays with me for a long time.
Another good job, Bill!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2013
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Thank you so very much for reading and for your kind and generous feedback! I haven't seen one of your posts in awhile. Part of my heritage is American Indian and I always enjoyed your posts! Warm regards, Bill
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LOL! I just had a DNA test done to find out what tribe my family descended from. Seems it was the Wannabes. All European history from the get go.
Goes to show you those relatives will lie to you every time.
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Look over the etherwaves :), :), :)
Comment from JW
This is a cute story and it is written in such a way the reader could easily visualize the scene before them.
In reading this it reminded me of my high school days. Except things were a little worse.
You see, after spending a few minutes talking with the Principle after I had gotten into trouble, he would use call the Guidance Counselor to join us.
Note: The Guidance Counselor was my mother. JW
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2013
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This is a cute story and it is written in such a way the reader could easily visualize the scene before them.
In reading this it reminded me of my high school days. Except things were a little worse.
You see, after spending a few minutes talking with the Principle after I had gotten into trouble, he would use call the Guidance Counselor to join us.
Note: The Guidance Counselor was my mother. JW
Comment Written 08-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2013
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JW - thank you so much for reading and for your comments that brought a smile my way. What pressure! Bill
Comment from alexgeorge
I just so loved your story, Bill. Honestly this one deserves SIX stars. They only give us six of those and I'm not due for new ones until tomorrow.
It had all the necessary elements in it, well written, no SPAGs, you presented us with what I call an 'itch', a need to read on in order to find out why? when? how? In this case, we wanted to know why a perfectly docile and good student like Bill would disrupt the class of his favourite teacher, Miss Taylor. Why would he betray her trust? And then, as the story slowly unravels, we learn his heart-rending story that ties up with everything that's been happening to him over the past few weeks, and redeems Bill to us in a touching way. What a lovely read.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2013
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I just so loved your story, Bill. Honestly this one deserves SIX stars. They only give us six of those and I'm not due for new ones until tomorrow.
It had all the necessary elements in it, well written, no SPAGs, you presented us with what I call an 'itch', a need to read on in order to find out why? when? how? In this case, we wanted to know why a perfectly docile and good student like Bill would disrupt the class of his favourite teacher, Miss Taylor. Why would he betray her trust? And then, as the story slowly unravels, we learn his heart-rending story that ties up with everything that's been happening to him over the past few weeks, and redeems Bill to us in a touching way. What a lovely read.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2013
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Alex - thank you so much for such a warm and generous review. If I were so focused on sixes, I would never post on Friday! What I want is feedback and support. I got both from you. Warm regards, Bill
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It was a real pleasure, Bill, believe you me ~Alex