Comment from mumsyone

Excellent

Hi Bev,

I always enjoy reading your chapters. Very descriptive and moving, without a lot of useless, unneeded details.

Hugs,
Lois

Derek observed a frail, elderly woman with a wad of kleenex (Kleenex is a brand name, so it needs to be capitalized; or use 'tissues')

there's a visitor limit in cardiac intensive care (Cardiac Intensive Care).

"Would you like me to call you when Mr. Esner's (Eisner's?) surgeon gets here?" she offered.

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012

Hi, Lois. Thanks so much for catching those spaggies. I've revised a couple of times based on great reviews - like yours - and got a little sloppy. Thanks for keeping me in line, my friend. Hugs, Bev

Comment from megg_2020

Excellent

I loved this chapter. It was the first I've read of your book and now I'm going to have to go back and start at the beginning to catch the whole story. I liked the dialogue and short descriptions you gave, it made it easy to paint the scene in my mind.

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012

Hi, Meg. Welcome to the story. I really appreciate you taking time to read this chapter and your generous review. I know folks are busy, so I'm always grateful when someone finds my writing piques their interest. Warm regards, Bev

Really

Comment from JW

Excellent

Hmm. Isn't this an interesting development. Especially at the end. One cannot help but wonder what this will lead to.

Thanks for sharing this. No spags where found. JW

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012

And more to come. I have a few cards up my sleeve yet. Thanks, as always, Jonathon. You are most kind to follow my story. Take care, Bev

Comment from TammyGail

Excellent

always love your writing Bev and never do you fail to bring the goods - your formatting is amazing really my eyes are ever tired today been a long night indeed it helped while reading one of my favorites - thanks for sharing

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012

Thank you so much, Tammy. You are such a faithful reviewer. I do appreciate your kind and generous review, my friend. Hugs, Bev

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

This post is very good. You are moving the plot along at a good rate. I like the way you had the nurse make sure the detective was suppoosed to be there. It was realistic.

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012

Thanks much for your very encouraging review, barbara. And I appreciate you mentioning that detail. Warm regards, Bev

Comment from irishauthorme

Excellent

Just surfing when I found this, but I was impressed by your tight, succinct writing. Your description of each characters actions brought them to life, a welcome change from so many I have read here on FS who insist on telling rather than showing. Good story and lively dialogue. Saw only one small spag, "laughing his ass of(off).
Great writing, irish

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012

Thanks so much, Irish. I really apprecite you taking time out to read my chapter. And I will definitely change the spaggie. It's always good to get a fresh perspective on a write. You have really made my day! Warmest regards, Bev

Comment from wordsfromsue

Excellent

I'd actually like to thank you for the large type, failing eyes love it!!!
Good, good chapter! Not the heart stopping scarey dareys, but good solid story.... and who IS the stranger with the tattoo? Hmmm, we'll have to wait and see. You write a mean detective story, madam!
I liked that bit of fill in description of the older person and teenager, upon their reaction to the awful news they'd had, the opposites of the generations.... I'm somewhere in between, I'd be crying and texting!!

Good chapter!

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012

Hi, Sue. Thanks so much for taking time to read another chapter. I know how busy all of us are. It's always great to hear from you and receive your wonderful insights into my story. Thanks so much for your sharing and caring! Hugs, Bev

Comment from santapola

Exceptional

What an excellent write this is and an enjoyable read I see from your profile that I would expect it to be so. I will certainly read some back chapters Well done and thanks for sharing it

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012

I'm very honored by your heart-warming review and very generous rating. Thank you for taking time out read and offer your insights. I so very much appreciate it! Warm regards, Bev

Comment from Asyraf N. Jamsari

Exceptional

This is such a nice piece of writing. Good anticipation and splendid presentation as well. I'm sure you've poured plenty of efforts to come out with this. Thanks

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012

Thank you so much for this generous and supportive review, Asyraf. I really appreciate you choosing to read the chapter. I know we're all very busy people. Warmest regards, Bev

Comment from ryanr_444

Good

I like it it kept me entertained. In a few spots i had to go back and reread what was happening but it must have just went over my head because i got it the second time round.

His glanced quickly at the wall for directions to the cardiac unit. Par 14.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012

Thank you for the review.