Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Owaka Moon, Pt. 2"Murder Mystery
43 total reviews
Comment from Shirley McLain
Exciting story, full of tenseness and keeps a fast past. It is a very injoyable story to read. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2012
Exciting story, full of tenseness and keeps a fast past. It is a very injoyable story to read. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2012
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Thank you so much, Okiegal. I really appreciate your very generous review and support for my chapter! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Healthyheartpoet
This is a suspenseful dramatic story with compelling characters, entirely believable, like the loser type Lapinski who confesses because he craves attention. Such people really do exist. I like the way you describe the detectives in there strain and tenseness as they struggle forward in this investigation. They are trying to save innocent lives, and the killer must be found and stopped. But alas there is no motive, and this underscores the difficulty of apprehending the killer. Good read!, there is not much not to like.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2012
This is a suspenseful dramatic story with compelling characters, entirely believable, like the loser type Lapinski who confesses because he craves attention. Such people really do exist. I like the way you describe the detectives in there strain and tenseness as they struggle forward in this investigation. They are trying to save innocent lives, and the killer must be found and stopped. But alas there is no motive, and this underscores the difficulty of apprehending the killer. Good read!, there is not much not to like.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2012
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Hi, HH. I really appreciate you stopping by to read my chapter. Your review is both generous and very supportive. Thanks so much! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from fictionwriter
Another great addition to this story. I can't wait to see what happens next. YOu've got a wonderful intrigue going on and it keeps the reader guessing. Well done.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2012
Another great addition to this story. I can't wait to see what happens next. YOu've got a wonderful intrigue going on and it keeps the reader guessing. Well done.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2012
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Hi, fictionwriter. Thank you so much for your generous and supportive review. I really appreciate your time and interest! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Showboat
Hi Bev, and what an excellent job you did on this chapter. The only thing I saw was that after 'perp' you have a period, which isn't needed. Other than that, I was reading too fast to see anything.
Love this story and it's always great to see you in my inbox!
Hugs,
Gayle
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2012
Hi Bev, and what an excellent job you did on this chapter. The only thing I saw was that after 'perp' you have a period, which isn't needed. Other than that, I was reading too fast to see anything.
Love this story and it's always great to see you in my inbox!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment Written 25-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2012
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Hi, Gayle. Thanks for this awesome review! I really appreciate your generous words of support, my friend. Thanks for taking time to read and for your generous rating! Hugs, Bev
Comment from Tina55
One shoe shy of a pair - clever, nice alliteration, sneaky use of 'a pair' which usually refers to a man's you know whats. It works both ways.
Good language flow and description.
"This perp. blends into the background like a cockroach hiding in a dark corner. He's gonna be a bitch to profile." (Drop the period after perp)
The victim looked like a sleeping drag queen. (Great line!)
Good twist at the end which makes me want to read on. Great work, Bev.
This story continues to evolve and deepen at a constant, tense pace. As does your writing style. You are growing and experimenting and I like that.
Have a good one.
Love,
Tina
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2012
One shoe shy of a pair - clever, nice alliteration, sneaky use of 'a pair' which usually refers to a man's you know whats. It works both ways.
Good language flow and description.
"This perp. blends into the background like a cockroach hiding in a dark corner. He's gonna be a bitch to profile." (Drop the period after perp)
The victim looked like a sleeping drag queen. (Great line!)
Good twist at the end which makes me want to read on. Great work, Bev.
This story continues to evolve and deepen at a constant, tense pace. As does your writing style. You are growing and experimenting and I like that.
Have a good one.
Love,
Tina
Comment Written 25-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2012
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Thanks so much, Tina. I'm thrilled that you noticed my efforts to improve with each post. You don't miss much! That's why I love your reviews. Much appreciated my friend. Hugs, Bev
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Bev.
Well, you know I love cliff hanger endings and you just offered a beauty!
An intriguing mystery that certainly has me hooked.
Sadly, the six star awards have deserted me again.
Ron xox
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
Hi Bev.
Well, you know I love cliff hanger endings and you just offered a beauty!
An intriguing mystery that certainly has me hooked.
Sadly, the six star awards have deserted me again.
Ron xox
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Thanks so much, Ron. I appreciate the support and wish for a six. Xxx Bev
Comment from Ed_Anderson
Great chapter, it has me hooked and wondering what comes next. It seems to me that you have a real knowledge about how police/detectives work, and that really influences the story in a great way. Great job!
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
Great chapter, it has me hooked and wondering what comes next. It seems to me that you have a real knowledge about how police/detectives work, and that really influences the story in a great way. Great job!
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Hi, Ed. I've always wished I'd become a forensic investigator, so this is my chance to enter that world vicariously. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this chapter, Ed. Thank you for taking time read, and for your great review. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from ScarletClearwater
Yes, it is. The First 48 is my favorite show, so I am really enjoying the read here. Emotionful and raw. Great job with this piece.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
Yes, it is. The First 48 is my favorite show, so I am really enjoying the read here. Emotionful and raw. Great job with this piece.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Hi, SC. Thanks so much for this great review. I appreciate the support! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Connie C
You are doing such a wonderful job, Bev, of providing suspense. I really want to know who did it--who killed Debra Paget. And what a great way to end this chapter--leaving us hanging. Shame on you! (kidding, of course). I like the dialogue of the fellows in the meeting room. You are moving along beautifully with this. Hugs, Connie
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
You are doing such a wonderful job, Bev, of providing suspense. I really want to know who did it--who killed Debra Paget. And what a great way to end this chapter--leaving us hanging. Shame on you! (kidding, of course). I like the dialogue of the fellows in the meeting room. You are moving along beautifully with this. Hugs, Connie
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Hi, Connie. Thank you, my dear friend, for your wonderful words of support. That means so much to me! And I am honored by your generous review, as well. You are so good for me. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Maureen's Pen
This was just exceptional next post for this story.
I just started reading and couldn't stop, it had me completely enthralled!
Your imagery was just astounding, and gave me a clear vision of what was happening and then how it made me feel.
This read well, smooth flow the character dialogue is easy and feels real when I am reading it. Nothing could have been better this is definitely a sixer but it won't let me give you one. I hate when that happens. But virtual for you and a bigger hug.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
This was just exceptional next post for this story.
I just started reading and couldn't stop, it had me completely enthralled!
Your imagery was just astounding, and gave me a clear vision of what was happening and then how it made me feel.
This read well, smooth flow the character dialogue is easy and feels real when I am reading it. Nothing could have been better this is definitely a sixer but it won't let me give you one. I hate when that happens. But virtual for you and a bigger hug.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Maureen, thank you so much for this glorious review. Truly, your words of appreciation for the write mean the world to me. I'm honored you felt it good enough for a vitual six. You are always such a supportive and generous lady. Father Brian will be teaming up with his Native American friend Tony and Jana Burke for the second half of this novel. Time we got the spiritual side involved LOL. Love ya bunches, Bev
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Sounds intriguing my friend:D
Love ya
maureen