DEW
Clarity Pyramid Poem19 total reviews
Comment from hermangarner3
The author's poem has several dimensions. That is, Dawn's early dewdrops creates a sense of urgency, as we know the sun will soon evaporate the moment...dangling from spider webs underscores the urgency and creates a mental picture, as if the drops are trying to escape...and the classic Glittering like Diamonds works well to emphasize the purity. All the senses have been engaged with the exception of taste.
Very Nice,
Herman
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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The author's poem has several dimensions. That is, Dawn's early dewdrops creates a sense of urgency, as we know the sun will soon evaporate the moment...dangling from spider webs underscores the urgency and creates a mental picture, as if the drops are trying to escape...and the classic Glittering like Diamonds works well to emphasize the purity. All the senses have been engaged with the exception of taste.
Very Nice,
Herman
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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Well, I WISH could have included taste, AS I do love including all senses. But the form is to short,none the less this is a fabulous review thank you so much.
Comment from Taurean Monkey
I think the image of dewdrops on spiders' webs provide the inspiration to write poems, as I've seen a couple like this. It's pretty and you've captured the quality of the morning dew well in your lines 'glittering like diamonds,' for example. I like walking out in the countryside on mornings like the one you've described. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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I think the image of dewdrops on spiders' webs provide the inspiration to write poems, as I've seen a couple like this. It's pretty and you've captured the quality of the morning dew well in your lines 'glittering like diamonds,' for example. I like walking out in the countryside on mornings like the one you've described. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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Love your review, as this exactly the reaction I was looking for. I also love the countryside and its adventures
Comment from Hollyhock
Lovely images here, you clearly convey the pictures you wish to create. Your words are a clear echo of the artwork.
I enjoyed the repeated "D" sounds which evokes the pendent quality of the drops and the hard "G" sounds which emphasize the glitter.
Your last line needs a rewrite, for the purpose of the contest it requires 8 syllables, and only has 6.
Well done, I've altered your star grading accordingly.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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Lovely images here, you clearly convey the pictures you wish to create. Your words are a clear echo of the artwork.
I enjoyed the repeated "D" sounds which evokes the pendent quality of the drops and the hard "G" sounds which emphasize the glitter.
Your last line needs a rewrite, for the purpose of the contest it requires 8 syllables, and only has 6.
Well done, I've altered your star grading accordingly.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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You are so right. Thank you for pointing that out. I just fixed it, if you would like to take another look
Comment from Flamingbush
Absolutely beautiful. I like the way you describe those dewdrops, "dangling from spiderwebs, glittering like diamonds." Nice description of dew. It flows well, and the words really shine.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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Absolutely beautiful. I like the way you describe those dewdrops, "dangling from spiderwebs, glittering like diamonds." Nice description of dew. It flows well, and the words really shine.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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Thank you so much
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Eliza M
Oh this is such a pretty poem. It is delightful!
I love how you play with 'G' and 'D' sounds using assonance and consonance.Your chosen artwork enhances your writing perfectly.My only suggestion , if you don't mind would be to make 'Springtime'- Springtime's and drop the speech marks as they are not necessary.A lovely, well written poem.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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Oh this is such a pretty poem. It is delightful!
I love how you play with 'G' and 'D' sounds using assonance and consonance.Your chosen artwork enhances your writing perfectly.My only suggestion , if you don't mind would be to make 'Springtime'- Springtime's and drop the speech marks as they are not necessary.A lovely, well written poem.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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Thank you so much Eliza, and I did debate Springtime's when I wrote and I think your right I will make that change. And even though I agree with you on the quotes, that is the way this form is set up. Your review means a great deal to me thank you.
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Its my pleasure. Its your poem and its beautiful. I certainly dont mean to interfere. Liz.x
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Oh, you are definitely not interfering. I appreciate your help
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Thats ok then. Always wary of offending people but know that I am always pleased to get constuctive opinions.x
Comment from guinea
Beautiful poem to read today. The words flow smoothly and direct. Shows deep thinking. The picture goes well with your writing.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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Beautiful poem to read today. The words flow smoothly and direct. Shows deep thinking. The picture goes well with your writing.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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Thank you so much.
Comment from Bobbi22
A perfect picture of dew in your clarity poem. Each line describes dew in different ways. Wish they were the diamonds they glitter like. Very well written poem. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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A perfect picture of dew in your clarity poem. Each line describes dew in different ways. Wish they were the diamonds they glitter like. Very well written poem. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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Thank you
Comment from visionary1234
I'm getting a real education in poetic forms here - I've only read a few of these "clarity pyramids" but so far yours is my favorite! Good luck in the competition - so far you have my vote!
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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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I'm getting a real education in poetic forms here - I've only read a few of these "clarity pyramids" but so far yours is my favorite! Good luck in the competition - so far you have my vote!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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I hope it stays that way! LOL. Thank you so much.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes I liked this you have very strong descriptive words and have presented it beautifully well done I enjoyed good luck regards Jill
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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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Yes I liked this you have very strong descriptive words and have presented it beautifully well done I enjoyed good luck regards Jill
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
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Thank Jill!
