Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

one at the time they could try - one at a time
this child may try and fine - try to find
I like the idea of dragon children being taught how to blow colder, non-harmful flames
told them not to try and do this yet - try to do
This is such a sweet story :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 29-Sep-2011

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reply by the author on 29-Sep-2011

Thanks so much for you kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine
And thanks for another few essential corrections Brooke. Think I have to send Robert to English lessons-he is more a math person; or forgot after having been in Holland so long.

Comment from rheabug

Excellent

This is really a cute story that I am sure will be popular with many children. I am sure it will be a success. You have a really good imagination. Blessings, Linda

 Comment Written 29-Sep-2011

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reply by the author on 29-Sep-2011

Thanks so much for you kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine

Comment from ephraim crud, COS.

Excellent

me Dutchess, this doesn't need any changes. it's
splendiferous as it is. you mustn't change your style,
that's what makes it sooooooo good, as i said before.
it's the child-like quality that endears one to the
story. i loved it, and will look forward to the next
in anticipation. yours warmly, xx, eph.

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2011

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reply by the author on 29-Sep-2011

Thanks so much for you kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine

Comment from BigTomNY

Excellent

Great chapter and an excellent addition to your book!!!

Topic: Very nice
Flow: Great
Style: Very good
structure: very good
Rhyme: n/a
Art: Cute

Overall:
very good job!!!

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2011

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011

Thanks so much for your review. Take care, Ine.

Comment from Dutchie

Excellent

Hi Ine. Oh this story is so cute and sweet. You are succeeded
to bring over your imagination. I love this. It's nice they
did not hurt the cat,it's really a pleasure to read and I'm curious what happens in the following chapter. Well done. Liefs Fia

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2011

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011

Thanks so much for your review. Take care, Ine. Liefs Fia en bedankt voor je review.

Comment from Cumbrianlass

Excellent

Very cute. I love your imagination. I can see kids enjoying this story, Ine. It's so sweet. Just picked up a few little things to fix if you wish:

huge windows and four rows of small desks. - and had four rows of small desks.

"go ahead and pick which table you like. - "Go ahead and pick which table you like."

and girls with girls- that is all. - that is all."

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2011

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011

Thanks so much for your review. Take care, Ine. Thanks for the correction Avril- will see to them

Comment from TammyGail

Excellent

I love this story I will have to read it go Evan
I remember his first day of school we both cried like babies.. lol
Great work loved your imagery that's cool you got a picture of the school

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2011

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011

Thanks so much for your review. Take care, Ine. Let me know if he likes it again please

Comment from Osiek

Excellent

I am giving five stars because I like this story. There are a few things that I find in the format that could be corrected. I am giving an example of what I see:

(new paragraph for this part)

The teacher said: "Welcome, my dear; can I take a note of your name please? My name is Mrs. Dragonlake."

(I have found that a story can have a better effect on emotional bonds if dialogue and actions are separated. It gives time for the reader to actually pick up important clues to an importnat plot unfolding)

(new paragraph for this part)

All the children and young dragons gave their names and said hello.


should be in a paragraph by itself.

There should be spaces in between each paragraph.


(now I am going to re-write in on my own word processor. I will send it to you by PM...)

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2011

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011

Thanks so much for your review and suggestions. Blessings to you Karen, Ine
Here is my email address: inecarle1951@gmail.com, so you don't have to use4 the site-think it might be not allowed.

Comment from peggles

Excellent

Hello Robina
I am enjoying your story
This is a good idea writing about a dragon school
Not convinced human children would attend but its your story
I liked that the young dragons learn how to use their fire in different ways
I am not sure about (different colors) maybe other or different lands would be better
Just a thought it seemed to me to throw the innocence of children out of line they don't see color as we do
I am posting a long children's story and a tip I had was to keep paragraphs fairly short to hold attention span yours seem a bit long especially the last one on this chapter
All that out of the way I liked this very much and will be following it with interest


Well done with the story line which is perfect for kids to read.

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2011

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011

Thanks so much for your kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine.
Thanks for the tip Peggles.

Comment from Carolyn 12

Excellent

This is such a fun read about dragon school. I love that they learn different levels of using their fire for different things. Thanks for sharing..
*The very last line seems to be jumbled-maybe typo..

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2011

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011

Thanks so much for your kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine.
Will check, thanks.