Blind Trust
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Norman In Charge"A woman is stalked by a fan
23 total reviews
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
What a powerful entry for the sentence
starts the story contest. How great that
it also fits into your novel. I love it
when I get a two-for-one for my money
here (or anywhere else, for that matter),
don't you? Somehow I knew it was going to
be one of your world famous pups coming up
on good ole Norman even without reading
the rest of your book yet. I think I need
to buy one of them for my dear Lexi to keep
her protected at all times. good luck in the
contest. love, jan
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2010
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What a powerful entry for the sentence
starts the story contest. How great that
it also fits into your novel. I love it
when I get a two-for-one for my money
here (or anywhere else, for that matter),
don't you? Somehow I knew it was going to
be one of your world famous pups coming up
on good ole Norman even without reading
the rest of your book yet. I think I need
to buy one of them for my dear Lexi to keep
her protected at all times. good luck in the
contest. love, jan
Comment Written 01-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2010
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Hi Jan,
How nice it is to see you again! Thank you so much for the excellent comments and review.
Yes, Lexi would be safe from everything if she had a Dobie buddy. They're fabulous with kids, devoted to their 'people' above everything else, they hardly shed or drool. They just need a big yard...or a little darlin' to run them around!
Thanks again, m'dear!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Readywriter52
Norman has taken control again. He plans to kidnap Cathy. His delusional mind believes that she will love him. I hope Nathan can get back control before Norman does something stupid. Will this chapter be integrated into "Blind Trust?"
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2010
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Norman has taken control again. He plans to kidnap Cathy. His delusional mind believes that she will love him. I hope Nathan can get back control before Norman does something stupid. Will this chapter be integrated into "Blind Trust?"
Comment Written 01-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2010
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Hey Ready,
Yes, this chapter is part of Blint Trust. I just thought the sentence prompt was so perfect I couldn't resist. The chapter will be added into the book once the contest closes and the voting begins.
I'm so glad you liked this one!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
This is my first visit to your book. If I'd read the rest of it, maybe I'd know, but I have to ask. Why does Cathy wear glasses? Is it just because she's blind? Blind people don't usually do that, unless their eyes are deformed.
Only a few suggestions.
'Breathe in, deep steady puffs, hold a moment and exhale. Calm, calm, keep the door closed. Concentrate, that's it, deep, steady breaths. No more Nathan.' ---
Why enclosed inside '' instead of ""
'' is usually used for a quote within a quote.
Okay, I figured it out. You're using '' to show his thinking. Isnt that sually done with italics?
acquaintenances - acquaintances
The thought of them in bed together drove him nearly to frenzy and[,] for a moment, he almost lost it.
Ella's BMW pulled up the rear. --- Something's missing.
Roberta
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2010
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This is my first visit to your book. If I'd read the rest of it, maybe I'd know, but I have to ask. Why does Cathy wear glasses? Is it just because she's blind? Blind people don't usually do that, unless their eyes are deformed.
Only a few suggestions.
'Breathe in, deep steady puffs, hold a moment and exhale. Calm, calm, keep the door closed. Concentrate, that's it, deep, steady breaths. No more Nathan.' ---
Why enclosed inside '' instead of ""
'' is usually used for a quote within a quote.
Okay, I figured it out. You're using '' to show his thinking. Isnt that sually done with italics?
acquaintenances - acquaintances
The thought of them in bed together drove him nearly to frenzy and[,] for a moment, he almost lost it.
Ella's BMW pulled up the rear. --- Something's missing.
Roberta
Comment Written 28-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2010
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Hi Roberta,
Thanks for the super review. I use italics in the ms, but EE hates me and my computer and will infest my work with ????'s if I try anything. Good grief, my spell checker missed that one. So glad you didn't. I'll fix right now.
I think the reason why Cathy wears glasses is she's self-conscious about people 'looking' at her. Plus, to her, they're a pretty accessory.
Thanks again,I so appreciated your review and comments.
Gayle
Comment from nor84
Ella's BMW pulled up the rear.>>>I want to say 'pulled up in the rear'.
Ella says Gucci made them special, just for me; an early birthday present.">>>Not sure about that semicolon, Gayle. There's no verb in the part after the semicolon, and usually it joins two short INDEPENDENT clauses.
Dark, like the surrounding homes(.) No yard lights would blow his cover this time.>>> or could use a semicolon where I put the period. This is two short independent clauses.
Excellent job, Gayle. No, guess I'm not on your list of fans, but I found y ou. Hope the committee likes this as much as I do.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2010
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Ella's BMW pulled up the rear.>>>I want to say 'pulled up in the rear'.
Ella says Gucci made them special, just for me; an early birthday present.">>>Not sure about that semicolon, Gayle. There's no verb in the part after the semicolon, and usually it joins two short INDEPENDENT clauses.
Dark, like the surrounding homes(.) No yard lights would blow his cover this time.>>> or could use a semicolon where I put the period. This is two short independent clauses.
Excellent job, Gayle. No, guess I'm not on your list of fans, but I found y ou. Hope the committee likes this as much as I do.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2010
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Hey Norma!
Always a atreat to see you! Okay...someone else mentioned that 'pulled up the rear' thingy. Let me get in there and tweak this a bit. It made sense to me, but then, of course, I'm blonde! I'll also get the 'Gucci' sentence fixed.
Thank you so much for the great review and for stopping by!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Sacred Heart
I loved the story line, was captivated line per line right up to the end. I need to read more of your chapters though now I know how the book ends. Still, I will enjoy the read! I'm fully intriqued. Best of luck in contest, I'll be sending good thoughts your way.Thanks for sharing. Take care, Patty
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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I loved the story line, was captivated line per line right up to the end. I need to read more of your chapters though now I know how the book ends. Still, I will enjoy the read! I'm fully intriqued. Best of luck in contest, I'll be sending good thoughts your way.Thanks for sharing. Take care, Patty
Comment Written 28-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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Hey Patty, we're not quite ended. We have two more chapters and then we'll be done. I hope to see you again! Thanks for the fine review.
Best,
Gayle
Comment from Dave M
Gayle,
Looks like Norman hasn't learned a thing. Don't know what will happen, but Norman's too desperate to think clearly.
I really enjoyed this read and found just one small nit:
"Norman opened a {of} bottle of Crown Royal, filled his glass with ice and poured." The first "of" should come out.
Dave
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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Gayle,
Looks like Norman hasn't learned a thing. Don't know what will happen, but Norman's too desperate to think clearly.
I really enjoyed this read and found just one small nit:
"Norman opened a {of} bottle of Crown Royal, filled his glass with ice and poured." The first "of" should come out.
Dave
Comment Written 28-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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Dave! Oh my, a sixer. And eagle eyes to boot. I'm gonna get right in there. Sheesh, how'd I miss that? Glad you didn't. You're the best, such a good reviewer I'm blessed to have you as a fan!
Hugs
Gayle
Comment from Korton
This is the closing chapter? You've got to be kidding me. Now I'll have to wait for the next book to see Kip get a piece of Norman. Say it ain't so. Very well done.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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This is the closing chapter? You've got to be kidding me. Now I'll have to wait for the next book to see Kip get a piece of Norman. Say it ain't so. Very well done.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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Oh, no, Frank. We have a couple of chapters to go! Although, that sure would be one way to keep the readers coming back! LOL, thanks so much for the great review. I'll have to check out what I said about the end and make fix.
Are you busy researching?
Thanks again,
Hugs,
Gayle
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It was in the Author's notes
Comment from Frank Fiction
Definitely, made me want to read more. Gripping and interesting. Want to know where it goes from here. Felt dark. Nice job.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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Definitely, made me want to read more. Gripping and interesting. Want to know where it goes from here. Felt dark. Nice job.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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Hi Frank,
We are not quite finished. A couple more chapters to go, but in the book, it is the last chapter. I was a bit misleading there.
Thanks again for the fine review. I appreciate it.
Gayle
Comment from shelley kaye
You were the bell of the ball tonight, sweetheart. <-- shouldn't 'sweetheart' be capped?
'Not a Through Street' <-- you should put this in bold in the book ;)
anyway great chapter! can't wait to see what norman does next!
thanx for sharing and good luck in contest!
shelley :)
p.s. you can add it to the book now just so ya know :)
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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You were the bell of the ball tonight, sweetheart. <-- shouldn't 'sweetheart' be capped?
'Not a Through Street' <-- you should put this in bold in the book ;)
anyway great chapter! can't wait to see what norman does next!
thanx for sharing and good luck in contest!
shelley :)
p.s. you can add it to the book now just so ya know :)
Comment Written 28-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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Hey Shelley, actually, I would have thought so, too. But it's like saying 'hon' or 'babe' so no cap. Strange, huh? How do I do that adding to the book? Give me a pm. :)
Hugs and big thanks,
Gayle
Comment from patmedium
You and your bleeping cliffhangers! The quicker that dog finishes him off, the better! Really, Gayle, you DO know just how to torment us, don't you? Pat. xxx
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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You and your bleeping cliffhangers! The quicker that dog finishes him off, the better! Really, Gayle, you DO know just how to torment us, don't you? Pat. xxx
Comment Written 28-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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Hey good buddy, ya liked that one, huh? Two more chapters to go and then I can rest for a while. I can't thank you enough for the wonderful reviews you've given and the smiles, Lordy, tons of those right from you!
Hugs,
Gayle
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Good... someone has to keep you sane... all this writing about mental illness is dangerous, you know!
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P.s. I will be sorry to lose the contact when you sail off for your holiday cruise. I've got used to cursing your cliffhangers! Pat.