Freedom From Fear
Fear is often generated by imagining something bad to happen19 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this. Yes, so many adults feel it's protecting children if they hide, for instance the photo of the person who did harm. But the children aren't allowed to face that fear and therefore go onto the next step. You've done a wonderful service to us sharing this.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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Thank you for sharing this. Yes, so many adults feel it's protecting children if they hide, for instance the photo of the person who did harm. But the children aren't allowed to face that fear and therefore go onto the next step. You've done a wonderful service to us sharing this.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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Thanks, Barbara. l learned a lot from the kids. They would often sit me down and reveal what worked and didn't work. Enough of them did this that I wrote a book around their insights, called, Teachable Moments. Lessons to Enrich Our Mental Health, Our Spiritual Journey, and Our Relationships. -Bill
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Wow! This is so powerful! I could really feel what those children were going through. The way you guided them through their fear was incredible. That moment when they stomped on the picture was so freeing - I could just imagine the energy in that room. The way you explained the difference between fear and anger was eye opening. That final moment with the hug was so moving. What an amazing experience to share!
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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Wow! This is so powerful! I could really feel what those children were going through. The way you guided them through their fear was incredible. That moment when they stomped on the picture was so freeing - I could just imagine the energy in that room. The way you explained the difference between fear and anger was eye opening. That final moment with the hug was so moving. What an amazing experience to share!
Comment Written 21-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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What was truly amazing was when the children went to the edge of the stage and there were their parents, all in tears and the children saying to them, "Mom, Daddy, I love you." Something that some of them had never done before, and then jumping off the stage and hugging them. As one father said to me, "Thank you, Dr. Stephenson. I have my son back." -Bill
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well written.
trying to convince many of the children that this mass shooting would not happen again. - hmmm. Maybe a false hope in modern America.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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Well written.
trying to convince many of the children that this mass shooting would not happen again. - hmmm. Maybe a false hope in modern America.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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This was all they had and they were saying that more for themselves than the children. i confronted this statement several times by turning it into an opportunity to have discussion. Thanks, Wayne. I am always grateful for your reviews. -Bill
Comment from patcelaw
This is a beautifully written story and I very much enjoyed listening to it. It helps me to at almost 87 years of age to understand how that my life even though I lived in some fear as a child and I was angry. I did not know how to use the fear in the angry Feelings for a long time but now I am free of the fear and the anger and I am able to put things in place so that my life has substantial meaning. Thank you so much for sharing this. Patricia.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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This is a beautifully written story and I very much enjoyed listening to it. It helps me to at almost 87 years of age to understand how that my life even though I lived in some fear as a child and I was angry. I did not know how to use the fear in the angry Feelings for a long time but now I am free of the fear and the anger and I am able to put things in place so that my life has substantial meaning. Thank you so much for sharing this. Patricia.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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This year, I too, become an octogenarian. Fear and anger are emotions, not feelings. When we experience either one, we must ask, what we are feeling when we are fearful or angry. This is what therapy can do: Help us come to know ourselves better by not judging these emotions. Thanks, Patricia, for a wonderful review that included your own testament. -Bill
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
These traumatised children have been introduced to violence at a young age and it changes their perception of life and it is very, very sad. This is an unusual post and I enjoyed ready a little about your working life here, a fine post and a very worthwhile occupation, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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These traumatised children have been introduced to violence at a young age and it changes their perception of life and it is very, very sad. This is an unusual post and I enjoyed ready a little about your working life here, a fine post and a very worthwhile occupation, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 21-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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There is so much more to this story. All of these children were Cambodian and it took some work with them and their parents to understand how their culture handled grief and loss. The five sessions before this occurred were critical. Your six caught me off guard. I knew this was an unusual story and I was not expecting such high reviews. Thank you, as always, for your review. -Bill
Comment from Mrs Anna Howard
So heartbreaking and very interesting to read at the same time. Trauma and grief are so difficult to process and I can't imagine how hard they must be when occurring at young age. Thank you for doing what you do.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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So heartbreaking and very interesting to read at the same time. Trauma and grief are so difficult to process and I can't imagine how hard they must be when occurring at young age. Thank you for doing what you do.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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Thank you, Anna, for your review. Handling loss and dealing with grief are rarely addressed as "teachable moments." And then there is the clash of culture. All of these children were Cambodian. -Bill
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That must be so difficult!
Comment from Wendy G
I found this most interesting - but I did wonder if they had vented their anger rather than their fear ("until all the children had the opportunity to vent their anger on that picture.") and therefore whether it was their fear which remained. I think in such a traumatic situation that fear and anger would be almost inseparable, but having that sense of punishing him did give them back a measure of control - because he, in the picture, was powerless to hurt them now, and this sense of control was what took away their fear, leaving just the anger. I did wonder too about parents and others promising that "this mass shooting would never happen again" as we really do not know that, and it is beyond our control. As a parent and teacher, I would never make such a statement, but I would try to find other ways to empower them to move on with courage (hard, I know).
However, it was well-written, and I valued the thinking processes you forced me to engage in. Well done.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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I found this most interesting - but I did wonder if they had vented their anger rather than their fear ("until all the children had the opportunity to vent their anger on that picture.") and therefore whether it was their fear which remained. I think in such a traumatic situation that fear and anger would be almost inseparable, but having that sense of punishing him did give them back a measure of control - because he, in the picture, was powerless to hurt them now, and this sense of control was what took away their fear, leaving just the anger. I did wonder too about parents and others promising that "this mass shooting would never happen again" as we really do not know that, and it is beyond our control. As a parent and teacher, I would never make such a statement, but I would try to find other ways to empower them to move on with courage (hard, I know).
However, it was well-written, and I valued the thinking processes you forced me to engage in. Well done.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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Thanks, Wendy, for a wonderful review. You open a door for more conversation. The adults were helpless. The only resource to help these children, and the whole community for that matter, was to decry that this won't happen again. Our team would help them learn
more helpful ways to deal with grief, sudden loss, emotions such as fear and anger. The other issue was cultural. This was a community center for Cambodian refugees. Children are not allowed to express anger and fear is something you keep to yourself. All this had to be addressed. It was an interesting two weeks. -Bill
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Hi I think I've shared I have been a special education teacher in NYC and Newark. I have also been a part of a family 911 foundation and I've gone to workshops about shock and grief through that organization. I once received their healer award an engraved clock so, that being said, I respect your experience and story. I am just curious as to whom was consulted prior to engaging these children with the exercise you describe here. That's all. I am curious about the individual students and in which way or ways you were able to proceed. As you know, every child will react differently. Some may have had a traumatic event apart from this group one, unrelated, but that experience would compound the grief. I am curious about your process and procedure surrounding the exercise of which you have written well.
Best wishes,
Alex
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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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Hi I think I've shared I have been a special education teacher in NYC and Newark. I have also been a part of a family 911 foundation and I've gone to workshops about shock and grief through that organization. I once received their healer award an engraved clock so, that being said, I respect your experience and story. I am just curious as to whom was consulted prior to engaging these children with the exercise you describe here. That's all. I am curious about the individual students and in which way or ways you were able to proceed. As you know, every child will react differently. Some may have had a traumatic event apart from this group one, unrelated, but that experience would compound the grief. I am curious about your process and procedure surrounding the exercise of which you have written well.
Best wishes,
Alex
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Comment Written 21-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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Alex, this was a review I was hoping I would get. You opened the door for further conversation. And, there is so much more to this story. This tragedy took place in a community center for Cambodian refugees. All of the children were from that culture. A culture that didn't allow children to express anger and fear was equally dismissed. The five sessions with the kids, included five sessions with their parents and bringing them altogether at the end. It was then that we held this meeting. There is so much more to this story and I will be "improving" upon it when I get more feedback. Yours was invaluable. -Bill
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is inspiring and the author shared how the children who were traumatized stomped on the photo of the man who killed five children and then himself. They learned not to fear fear and instead deal with their anger and frustration at being the ones who survived the trauma of death by gunfire.
This story taught me a lesson on grief and how it manifests itself in fear instead of anger.
Thanks for the inspirational testimony of faith with fear as a backdrop of healthy anger.
Jesse
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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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This is inspiring and the author shared how the children who were traumatized stomped on the photo of the man who killed five children and then himself. They learned not to fear fear and instead deal with their anger and frustration at being the ones who survived the trauma of death by gunfire.
This story taught me a lesson on grief and how it manifests itself in fear instead of anger.
Thanks for the inspirational testimony of faith with fear as a backdrop of healthy anger.
Jesse
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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Fear is not a weakness. Anger is not a weakness. They both must be experienced in the recovery of grief. Thanks for your review, Jesse.
Bill
