Veil of Secrets
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Veil of Secrets - Chap 7"Mystery/Crime and Ghosts
15 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is going to get complicated! Eleanor knows something is wrong, and she is even more worried now that Philip (I'm sorry, but my Philip only has one L) has brushed her off. But I have my suspicions that Althea doesn't want to do this, even if she is related. Problems and more problems! Loving this one, my friend. Hmm, I love them all!!!!! :)) Biggest hugs and lots of love, my friend. XXXX Sandra!!!
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This is going to get complicated! Eleanor knows something is wrong, and she is even more worried now that Philip (I'm sorry, but my Philip only has one L) has brushed her off. But I have my suspicions that Althea doesn't want to do this, even if she is related. Problems and more problems! Loving this one, my friend. Hmm, I love them all!!!!! :)) Biggest hugs and lots of love, my friend. XXXX Sandra!!!
Comment Written 11-Jan-2025
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Yes, there is a lot more trouble looming. Eleanor is right to be concerned. I enjoyed reading.
Althea nodded, "Something like that." (nodded.)
Althea's heart was pounding, and her hands trembled as she clutched her bag. (passive, 'heart pounded' active)
Her voice wavered as she spoke. "Thank you for seeing me." (spoke,)
She swallowed hard, her voice barely above a whisper. "I -- I'll do whatever it takes." (whisper,)
Rebecca and Jenna chatting just outside. (I thought Rebecca left.)
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2025
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Yes, there is a lot more trouble looming. Eleanor is right to be concerned. I enjoyed reading.
Althea nodded, "Something like that." (nodded.)
Althea's heart was pounding, and her hands trembled as she clutched her bag. (passive, 'heart pounded' active)
Her voice wavered as she spoke. "Thank you for seeing me." (spoke,)
She swallowed hard, her voice barely above a whisper. "I -- I'll do whatever it takes." (whisper,)
Rebecca and Jenna chatting just outside. (I thought Rebecca left.)
Comment Written 11-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2025
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Fixed per your suggestions...thank you!
A lot going on in their life and mine...something is going to hve to give sooner or later. LOL
thanks for the review.
Smiles, Carol
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I hope it's not your writing.
Comment from papa55mike
I admire your list of characters. I do well with 4 or 5. Please check these lines:
but not by much.
here to see Mr. Henderson - you need a paragraph break there.
meet you outside. (") - you need a quotation mark.
leave the magazine."
She returned - a paragraph break.
This is a wonderfully written story. Best of luck with your project! Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2025
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I admire your list of characters. I do well with 4 or 5. Please check these lines:
but not by much.
here to see Mr. Henderson - you need a paragraph break there.
meet you outside. (") - you need a quotation mark.
leave the magazine."
She returned - a paragraph break.
This is a wonderfully written story. Best of luck with your project! Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2025
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Fixed and thank you..... Never intended the characters to pile up, but the story sort of drug them in to the conflict. thanks Mike for your help and for the review.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Tim Margetts
I love your Character list, Carol.
I swear one day it will be longer than the narrative itself.
This was another great instalment in this growing web of lies and intrigue.
I continue to look forward to the next
Tim x
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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I love your Character list, Carol.
I swear one day it will be longer than the narrative itself.
This was another great instalment in this growing web of lies and intrigue.
I continue to look forward to the next
Tim x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2025
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
Carol,
What a great chapter. You are starting to build up the suspense of the book. I think things are going to get ugly pretty soon. Call it a hunch :)
Love ya lots,
Cecilia
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Carol,
What a great chapter. You are starting to build up the suspense of the book. I think things are going to get ugly pretty soon. Call it a hunch :)
Love ya lots,
Cecilia
Comment Written 11-Jan-2025
