The Squirrels Strike Back
Rhymed story in a poem17 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
That visual is amazing and the squirrel is virtually emerging from the screen, which would surprise me because they's a mischievous bunch - as your delightful poetic story suggests. I'm glad it wasn't actually you because the narrator here appears to have quite a battle on their hands! Thank you for sharing, Christie. I enjoyed your story and wish you luck in the contest! Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
  |
That visual is amazing and the squirrel is virtually emerging from the screen, which would surprise me because they's a mischievous bunch - as your delightful poetic story suggests. I'm glad it wasn't actually you because the narrator here appears to have quite a battle on their hands! Thank you for sharing, Christie. I enjoyed your story and wish you luck in the contest! Take care Debbie
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
-
Thank you for your great review.
Comment from patcelaw
This is very nicely written and it rhymes very well and it rhymes very naturally, which makes it for a nice read. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. I also wish you a wonderful weekend And may God bless you. Patricia.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
|
This is very nicely written and it rhymes very well and it rhymes very naturally, which makes it for a nice read. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. I also wish you a wonderful weekend And may God bless you. Patricia.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
-
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on this squirrel poem, Patricia.
Comment from zanya
Isn't nature not just wonderful but entertaining as well and here we have an 'event' involving a few industrious squirrels - just love that pic to illustrate
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
|
Isn't nature not just wonderful but entertaining as well and here we have an 'event' involving a few industrious squirrels - just love that pic to illustrate
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
-
Thank you for your super comments today.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
The picture is wonderful. The story is grand. But, The flow on the poem is off. The rhythm is not there. (I see you pulling out the doll and the long pins,) I was told to always read the poem out loud several times to see if the flow of the poem rolls off the tongue. For a short story it would be divine, but as a poem it needs correction. Hope this helped explain my review. Karen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
 |
The picture is wonderful. The story is grand. But, The flow on the poem is off. The rhythm is not there. (I see you pulling out the doll and the long pins,) I was told to always read the poem out loud several times to see if the flow of the poem rolls off the tongue. For a short story it would be divine, but as a poem it needs correction. Hope this helped explain my review. Karen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
-
Thanks for stopping by to read and review. I should probably go back to some form poems where the requirements are stiffer. It is okay to use 'loose' meter when they are not super-formal contests (Smile). I'll go back and call it loose iambic heptameter.
-
I do not know a lot of poetry styles. But one thing everyone told me when I got here is flow.
I love Japanese poetry, and limericks the most. I write other kinds but those are my favorites because the flow is so easy to do. Thanks for the explanation, I learn new things all the time. Karen
-
That is cool you like Japanese poetry. When I first joined here over 10 years ago, one of the top poets had to remind me what feminine endings are. I had not read that term since about 1989 back in college. We are all learning here, ha ha.
-
okay now you remind me, what are feminine endings? Karen
-
The feminine ending is a term used to refer to a verse line having an unstressed syllable at the end. So for example: There is a sparrow, sitting shyly. The word 'shyly' has an unstressed syllable for the end of it. So even if the poem about the sparrow is written in iambic tetrameter, it can have feminine endings and add an extra syllable to lines and still rhyme and still fit the form. I usually don't think about it too much and end up calling it loose (whatever the kind it is most of the time) meter. Sometimes contests are strict on syllabic counts and sometimes not.
-
Stop! My head hurts. Too much work for me. I'll keep working on my Margaret stories for now. Thanks for the help. Karen
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, The Squirrels Strike Back, captures the raging chaos of this instant battle in the backyard that seems to see the squirrels winning -- but a war begun.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
|
This poem, The Squirrels Strike Back, captures the raging chaos of this instant battle in the backyard that seems to see the squirrels winning -- but a war begun.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
-
Thank you for your super concise review. Your comments are always appreciated.
Comment from royowen
We don't have squirrels in Australia, they are all in the northern hemisphere, as far as I know, I've been to your neck of the woods on 4 occasions and have experienced their cheekiness, as in England, different breed, but I think the American greys are pushing out the reds of England, how they got there I'm not sure. Beautifully written Crystie, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
 |
We don't have squirrels in Australia, they are all in the northern hemisphere, as far as I know, I've been to your neck of the woods on 4 occasions and have experienced their cheekiness, as in England, different breed, but I think the American greys are pushing out the reds of England, how they got there I'm not sure. Beautifully written Crystie, blessings Roy
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
-
Thank you for your generous review! That just made my day.
-
Most welcome
Comment from DonandVicki
This is an excellent example of poetic prose. My dog loves to hunt down squirrels. The photograph is an excellent complement to your poetic story. Nice write.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
|
This is an excellent example of poetic prose. My dog loves to hunt down squirrels. The photograph is an excellent complement to your poetic story. Nice write.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
-
Thank you for your kind review today!