Miracles
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Miracles - Chap 4"From the ashes of crime, miracles arise
19 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is an excellent addition to the previous story. I can't wait to read more.
Rebecca chuckled, "Good, you need to eat. (chuckled.)
Jenna's pregnant from her rape, isn't she??)
Turning to Rebecca, he removed his Stetson and smiled, "And who is this charming lady, Jenna?" (smiled.)
Well, I better let you rest. I'm glad I could help and look forward to tomorrow." Rebecca smiled. (missing beginning quotation marks, "Well,)
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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This is an excellent addition to the previous story. I can't wait to read more.
Rebecca chuckled, "Good, you need to eat. (chuckled.)
Jenna's pregnant from her rape, isn't she??)
Turning to Rebecca, he removed his Stetson and smiled, "And who is this charming lady, Jenna?" (smiled.)
Well, I better let you rest. I'm glad I could help and look forward to tomorrow." Rebecca smiled. (missing beginning quotation marks, "Well,)
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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Sorry...I'm late..I didn't want to sent it off until I'd had time to make the corrections or else I would forget. Life's piling up on me again but then what else is new? Appreciate it, Barbara.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
Good chapter. Danni is now able to be visible -- that adds another dimension to the story. And Rebecca has been hired, so more fun and a new character. One little glitch: Rebecca comments that Jenna hasn't eaten. Then later she 'notices that Jenna hadn't touched her food.' Good chapter and good dialogue. Carol
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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Good chapter. Danni is now able to be visible -- that adds another dimension to the story. And Rebecca has been hired, so more fun and a new character. One little glitch: Rebecca comments that Jenna hasn't eaten. Then later she 'notices that Jenna hadn't touched her food.' Good chapter and good dialogue. Carol
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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You are great at catching the glitches and I appreciate it so much. I am glad that you are enjoying the story. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
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You too. Good story.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Carol, you and your cliff hangers!! lol Excellent chapter. The story is moving at a good pace and I am enjoying the characters, even Doyle, who I am enjoying hating and being scared of all at the same time. i will just be standing here at the edge of this cliff until the next chapter.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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Carol, you and your cliff hangers!! lol Excellent chapter. The story is moving at a good pace and I am enjoying the characters, even Doyle, who I am enjoying hating and being scared of all at the same time. i will just be standing here at the edge of this cliff until the next chapter.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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Thanks so much, Marilyn. I am thrilled you are back home and enjoying my story. Thanks for all the support. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Julie Helms
Carol, excellent dialogue in this developing story. You weave a good mix of drama, intrigue, mystery, and romance.
My thoughts:
It said death awaits you.
(I would set off the message with italics or quotes)
A small *wave* of relief washed over her, naturally changing the conversation. She *waved* Rebecca over,
(Too close together. You could just start at "Relief washed...")
His sharp eyes immediately fell on Jenna
(Ew and ouch. Lol! Maybe gaze, not eyes.)
But Rebecca, standing beside her, couldn't help but notice Jenna hadn't touched her food.
(Wordy. But Rebecca knew Jenna hadn't...)
You said was. What woman would toss that delicious fish back into the pond?"
(I would put 'was' in italics)
The issue I mentioned in the previous chapter was completely absent here. Dialogue w/ action tags was really fantastic!
Julie
:-)
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2024
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Carol, excellent dialogue in this developing story. You weave a good mix of drama, intrigue, mystery, and romance.
My thoughts:
It said death awaits you.
(I would set off the message with italics or quotes)
A small *wave* of relief washed over her, naturally changing the conversation. She *waved* Rebecca over,
(Too close together. You could just start at "Relief washed...")
His sharp eyes immediately fell on Jenna
(Ew and ouch. Lol! Maybe gaze, not eyes.)
But Rebecca, standing beside her, couldn't help but notice Jenna hadn't touched her food.
(Wordy. But Rebecca knew Jenna hadn't...)
You said was. What woman would toss that delicious fish back into the pond?"
(I would put 'was' in italics)
The issue I mentioned in the previous chapter was completely absent here. Dialogue w/ action tags was really fantastic!
Julie
:-)
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2024
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Dear me...it's taken a while to get back, but I pro,ise I fixed all your suggestions and I thank you so much. I've been a bit overwhelmed lately, but I didn't want to sweep them under the rug. I have one more of yours to do and then..hurrah! I will be caught up.
thank you again Julie for your help, suggestions, and kindness in reading my story.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
HI Carol,
Another stellar chapter. I love that you keep bringing in more characters to keep it very interesting. Is miss Jenna pregnant? That would be my guess.
I remember the days when food used to make me nauseous when I was in the motherly way.
You have a great imagination and you are so very talented. Do you have any other books in print?
Great, Great story. Keep it coming
Cecilia
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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HI Carol,
Another stellar chapter. I love that you keep bringing in more characters to keep it very interesting. Is miss Jenna pregnant? That would be my guess.
I remember the days when food used to make me nauseous when I was in the motherly way.
You have a great imagination and you are so very talented. Do you have any other books in print?
Great, Great story. Keep it coming
Cecilia
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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I've written many books but I've never published. After starting this series, I am working on getting the first one published... Unfinished Brushstrokes. My wish is to finally hold a book I wrote in my hands...even if it's the only one sold.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Wow, what an enjoyable read. The interactions between Danni, Jenna, and Rebecca are so well done. The dialogue flows naturally, making me feel like I'm right there with them. Your writing has a wonderful blend of warmth and suspense. I can't wait to see where you take this story next! Keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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Wow, what an enjoyable read. The interactions between Danni, Jenna, and Rebecca are so well done. The dialogue flows naturally, making me feel like I'm right there with them. Your writing has a wonderful blend of warmth and suspense. I can't wait to see where you take this story next! Keep up the great work!
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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I think writing a dialogue might be the high point of bringing my characters to life... I don't know if that's because I talk so much or if it's easier to show their emotions through what they say. LOL thanks as always.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Jacob1395
I definitely think John Doyle is behind Margaret's death and I can't wait to see where you'll take this novel yet. I think Eleanor's going to have her work cut out with this case, particularly with the threat to her family as well. An excellent chapter, Carol, I'm looking forward to the next one.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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I definitely think John Doyle is behind Margaret's death and I can't wait to see where you'll take this novel yet. I think Eleanor's going to have her work cut out with this case, particularly with the threat to her family as well. An excellent chapter, Carol, I'm looking forward to the next one.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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Doyle is a wicked and vengeful man, and he is far from done trying to destroy Eleanor's family and friends. Thanks so much for the review. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
A hint at a future romance between Rebecca and Garth and, being late to the story and not knowing for sure, I would guess that Jenna is pregnant.
Carol, the dialogue is fantastic here. I love stories where dialogue between several characters is used to tell the story and move it along at a good pace. You've done both here.
I'm intrigued. Can't wait to read more.
xo
Pam
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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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A hint at a future romance between Rebecca and Garth and, being late to the story and not knowing for sure, I would guess that Jenna is pregnant.
Carol, the dialogue is fantastic here. I love stories where dialogue between several characters is used to tell the story and move it along at a good pace. You've done both here.
I'm intrigued. Can't wait to read more.
xo
Pam
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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I use a lot of dialogue in my stories because I too believe you can move forward with a better understanding of the character and what they are feeling. Thanks so much for the review and for enjoying the chapter.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Jenna must tell Eleanor about what happened. She can't go on like this, it will eat her up. And Matthew needs to know, he's in love with her!
Okay, now we have to concentrate on Margaret's murder. Once Garth and Matthew know, everything will explode. But how will any of them be able to stop somebody they don't know, and the one who is the threat is in jail? They will have quite a lot of work on their hands. The story is progressing nicely, my friend. Well done! :)) Love and hugs, Sandra xxxx
"It wasn't an accident, Danni?" (no question mark)
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reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Jenna must tell Eleanor about what happened. She can't go on like this, it will eat her up. And Matthew needs to know, he's in love with her!
Okay, now we have to concentrate on Margaret's murder. Once Garth and Matthew know, everything will explode. But how will any of them be able to stop somebody they don't know, and the one who is the threat is in jail? They will have quite a lot of work on their hands. The story is progressing nicely, my friend. Well done! :)) Love and hugs, Sandra xxxx
"It wasn't an accident, Danni?" (no question mark)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Oh, I want to post the next chapter... and the one after that...LOL! There's so much going on and more to come and I can't tell you.... Margaret's murder will only be the tip of the iceberg.
Thanks for reading and enjoying so early...It's not even four here so it is still morning there, I think. I do appreciate your loyalty and constant support. I'm excited to unfold this one with all it's twists and turns.
Have a great day, my dear friend. Sending lots of smiles, hugs and of course, love..Carol