Spirited Justice
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Spirited Justice Chap 29"Mystery, crime and ghostly high jinks
15 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Man, your male characters are really ready to pick a fight with each other. Or maybe it's Garth who makes women swoon over him while males want to fight him.
I was relieved to learn that Jose is no longer a problem because I don't remember that the bodyguards shot him.
I also didn't remember that Donatelli was visiting Patti in her place - I guess?
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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Man, your male characters are really ready to pick a fight with each other. Or maybe it's Garth who makes women swoon over him while males want to fight him.
I was relieved to learn that Jose is no longer a problem because I don't remember that the bodyguards shot him.
I also didn't remember that Donatelli was visiting Patti in her place - I guess?
Comment Written 27-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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garth and Donatelli have always ben at each other, but Angelo I think was just defending Naomi and he's upset about his friend getting murdered. He'll be good.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Who's this mysterious man threatening Patti. I can't wait to find out. I got to see both Garth and Michael today. It was a good day. LOL
Angelo closed his eyes and nodded, "I know, but -- (nodded.)
She closed her eyes and inhaled deep (A lot of closing eyes right next to each other, I'd change one of them.)
Garth chuckled, "You're not alone. I've heard that from a lot of people." (chuckled.)
Patti's lips quivered as she spoke. "Yes. I threw it. (spoke,)
But he was alive when I ran away." Her voice trembled. "I thought I saw someone else in the alley, so I ran. (away," her voice trembled, "I thought BUT you've already said her voice quivered so it's redundant.)
The silence in the room stretched as he sipped the coffee she'd served when he arrived. (Who's 'she'd??? It reads like it's Patti???)
"What?" Patti leaned forward, her voice rising. "Wait! You can't just leave it (rising,)
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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Who's this mysterious man threatening Patti. I can't wait to find out. I got to see both Garth and Michael today. It was a good day. LOL
Angelo closed his eyes and nodded, "I know, but -- (nodded.)
She closed her eyes and inhaled deep (A lot of closing eyes right next to each other, I'd change one of them.)
Garth chuckled, "You're not alone. I've heard that from a lot of people." (chuckled.)
Patti's lips quivered as she spoke. "Yes. I threw it. (spoke,)
But he was alive when I ran away." Her voice trembled. "I thought I saw someone else in the alley, so I ran. (away," her voice trembled, "I thought BUT you've already said her voice quivered so it's redundant.)
The silence in the room stretched as he sipped the coffee she'd served when he arrived. (Who's 'she'd??? It reads like it's Patti???)
"What?" Patti leaned forward, her voice rising. "Wait! You can't just leave it (rising,)
Comment Written 27-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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Sorry. Barbara....I really blew it this time. I don't know where my head was at...writing horror stories, I guess. Give me a chance to regroup and I'll fix this mess. Thanks.....
Fixed and thank you.... Oh, they were at Patti's house and she had served the coffee.
It shouldn't make a difference switching from novel to shorts and back again, but it's difficult to get back into the book mode. My mind tends to wander...not good. Or maybe it's just all the other stuff on my mind. I've got to try harder...I know!
Thanks as always.
smiles, Carol
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You do great.
Comment from Harry Craft
His fists tightened as he stepped forward, his body rigid with anger. I really liked this line Carol. Such a descriptive sentence to show how one's body language and temperment might be! Great work! Keep it up!
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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His fists tightened as he stepped forward, his body rigid with anger. I really liked this line Carol. Such a descriptive sentence to show how one's body language and temperment might be! Great work! Keep it up!
Comment Written 27-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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Thanks, Harry! Glad you enjoyed the chapter. I appreciate all your comments.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was good, Carol. I pop in and out every now and again to see if you have posted the next chapter. I've just come home from hospital, and have to rest up a bit, which is easy to do at the moment.
There was a lot of distrust in this chapter, so it was good that the two ghosts were involved. Where would we be without them? Poor Naomi; she's the villain all the time, but as innocent as they come. I wonder who the man was who has frighted Patti so much? This was great, my friend. I will catch up with your shorties as soon as I can. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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That was good, Carol. I pop in and out every now and again to see if you have posted the next chapter. I've just come home from hospital, and have to rest up a bit, which is easy to do at the moment.
There was a lot of distrust in this chapter, so it was good that the two ghosts were involved. Where would we be without them? Poor Naomi; she's the villain all the time, but as innocent as they come. I wonder who the man was who has frighted Patti so much? This was great, my friend. I will catch up with your shorties as soon as I can. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
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Comment Written 27-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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Oh, Sandra...at the hospital again. I'm really getting scared. Tell me that you are going to be okay. I am so worried.
Thank you for taking the time to read this chapter. You are right about the distrust, but they have to learn to pull together. Soon, I hope.
As for my shorts, I do hope at some time you can read them...no rush of course. I can't believe that a few are tettering at the edge of all time best for September.... and I can't get many to read the novel. I guess everyone has short attention spans.
You take care of yourself and don't worry about me ..... the stories will be here when you return.
Smiles, hugs, and love, Carol
Comment from M.Ceili
The twists and turns in this chapter are fun to explore.Though a little confusing at times. Yet that could just be my dyslexia getting in the way of things. I look forward to the next bit of this story. Hopefully chapter 30 will come out soon.
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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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The twists and turns in this chapter are fun to explore.Though a little confusing at times. Yet that could just be my dyslexia getting in the way of things. I look forward to the next bit of this story. Hopefully chapter 30 will come out soon.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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Thanks so much for stopping by and jumping into this story. It woul be confusing because of the action and not knowing how we got there, but I appreciate your effort. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol