The Dead
Free Verse20 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I love this one! The dead stay dead, yet live on inside us all. This is a fabulous free form poem, and very well written. It's so different from others I've read about death, and I really enjoyed reading it. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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I love this one! The dead stay dead, yet live on inside us all. This is a fabulous free form poem, and very well written. It's so different from others I've read about death, and I really enjoyed reading it. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 20-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Sandra.
The footprints a person leaves on the world may not always be apparent. They are carried in the hearts and minds of their families and friends.
Steve
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is a very interesting and thought-provoking contest entry. It's extremely well written. Yes, the dead do live within our hearts forever. Thank you for sharing this entry with us and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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This is a very interesting and thought-provoking contest entry. It's extremely well written. Yes, the dead do live within our hearts forever. Thank you for sharing this entry with us and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Barbara. I'm not a great believer in ghosts and life after death and I guess the paradox is that the dead DO live on, but only in the hearts and minds of those they have influenced during their time on earth.
Steve
Comment from Richard Montfort Cary
A rather remarkable poem, all together. Excellent descriptive images mixed with some easy humor mixed with some serious clout, all ending with a clever twist. Nice structure, easy to read. Nicely done. Congrats.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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A rather remarkable poem, all together. Excellent descriptive images mixed with some easy humor mixed with some serious clout, all ending with a clever twist. Nice structure, easy to read. Nicely done. Congrats.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Richard. Gld you found something to like here.
Steve
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Thanks for the fine poem!
Comment from lyenochka
Great job with your thought-provoking poem about the "dead." As those who have passed on are always in our hearts and memories. But some of us also believe that they are in a new body altogether in a realm outside of this one. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Great job with your thought-provoking poem about the "dead." As those who have passed on are always in our hearts and memories. But some of us also believe that they are in a new body altogether in a realm outside of this one. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Thank you.
This is definitely easier to follow than some of my free verse stuff and the message is straightforward, but still an important one.
Steve
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent use of paradox here with the opening being the opposite of the ending.
Excellent imagery that hits all the right notes when considering death.
Just one small typo here:
ply their hustle to gulllible flocks.
Wishing you much luck with the Contest Committee.
Gloria
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Excellent use of paradox here with the opening being the opposite of the ending.
Excellent imagery that hits all the right notes when considering death.
Just one small typo here:
ply their hustle to gulllible flocks.
Wishing you much luck with the Contest Committee.
Gloria
Comment Written 20-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Gloria. I appreciate the kind words and the extra star. Yes, this pivots around the paradox. Glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Interesting topic and well written poem. I have some kind of gift when it comes to the dead. I'm not a medium or anything but many times I've been around complete strangers and have been compelled to talk with them. Some interesting things came from those times and I'm considering writing the most interesting stories up in some kind of story. I can also guess some things others are thinking like numbers. I'm an identical twin but the two of us don't get along Shes three minutes older but acts 3 decades older. I think maybe because I'm an artist I don't know what it is but somehow spirits from dead people have reached out to me and I didn't realize until it was happening. How ride? Just kidding but it's true. So although I am a chicken with spooky movies or movies a boy dead spirits, I'm apparently not afraid of the real ones. Excellent writing! Best wishes!
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Interesting topic and well written poem. I have some kind of gift when it comes to the dead. I'm not a medium or anything but many times I've been around complete strangers and have been compelled to talk with them. Some interesting things came from those times and I'm considering writing the most interesting stories up in some kind of story. I can also guess some things others are thinking like numbers. I'm an identical twin but the two of us don't get along Shes three minutes older but acts 3 decades older. I think maybe because I'm an artist I don't know what it is but somehow spirits from dead people have reached out to me and I didn't realize until it was happening. How ride? Just kidding but it's true. So although I am a chicken with spooky movies or movies a boy dead spirits, I'm apparently not afraid of the real ones. Excellent writing! Best wishes!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Alex.
Put me down as a sceptic in all of these matters - at least until some dead relative gives me the numbers for the next lottery jackpot! I see dead people - but only in the memories I have of them and in their influence on how I live my life.
Steve
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a poignant write, skilfully written, chilling and truthful. The dead haunt us and yet they remain dead and it is only our memories that keep them alive in our minds. I wish I had a six for you as this post is deserving of high praise. A winner for the contest me-thinks, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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This is a poignant write, skilfully written, chilling and truthful. The dead haunt us and yet they remain dead and it is only our memories that keep them alive in our minds. I wish I had a six for you as this post is deserving of high praise. A winner for the contest me-thinks, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Dolly, for the kind words and the virtual six. You outline the message perfectly.
Steve
Comment from Tom Horonzy
The first part had me relive the days of you. Was the described, vacant residence in Trenton, NJ? I did it with a sister who screamed when I got to the top of the stairs and I should have peed my pants but was running too fast
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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The first part had me relive the days of you. Was the described, vacant residence in Trenton, NJ? I did it with a sister who screamed when I got to the top of the stairs and I should have peed my pants but was running too fast
Comment Written 19-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Nope, never been to Trenton. Wasn't there some famous Civil War battle there?
Thanks for reviewing.
Steve
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It was the revolutionary war, near where Washington crossed the Delaware.
Comment from Michelle D. Carr
I found this very easy to read in spite of the differing lengths of lines. The several ways the dead are imagined is written very creatively. The theme I picked up on is that many want the dead to not stay dead and how we try to manage this. Very enjoyable. Thank you for this great example of free form. You are inspiring me to try more.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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I found this very easy to read in spite of the differing lengths of lines. The several ways the dead are imagined is written very creatively. The theme I picked up on is that many want the dead to not stay dead and how we try to manage this. Very enjoyable. Thank you for this great example of free form. You are inspiring me to try more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Michelle.
Yes, I guess this hinges on the paradox that the dead cannot come back to life, despite what fiction tells us, but they do in fact live on in our hearts and minds.
Steve
Comment from tfawcus
A fine poem, Steve. How bizarrely we approach death in our various rituals. Each of your verses, complete in itself, presents a vivid and telling picture. However, as you say, it is the death of those who personally affect our past and those who touch our sensibilities who bring home the stark reality of loss.
This is a superbly crafted poem, and I enjoyed it very much.
I sometimes do have a six on Saturday, but not this week, I'm afraid.
For the contest, you may wany to add the missing letter:
hose we never really knew:
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2023
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A fine poem, Steve. How bizarrely we approach death in our various rituals. Each of your verses, complete in itself, presents a vivid and telling picture. However, as you say, it is the death of those who personally affect our past and those who touch our sensibilities who bring home the stark reality of loss.
This is a superbly crafted poem, and I enjoyed it very much.
I sometimes do have a six on Saturday, but not this week, I'm afraid.
For the contest, you may wany to add the missing letter:
hose we never really knew:
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Tony.
This mysteriously got itself listed before I had properly finished it. Not sure how that happened and you didn't really miss much - mainly a more convincing ending and a fix for a couple of typos.
Steve
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Yes, I like that ending.
