Lingering Devotion Part-4
Ric and David return after 3 years.38 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
God, people do have a knack of messing things up, don't they? Life could be so easy with a little give and take, but hey, who am I to say. I loved this story. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
  |
God, people do have a knack of messing things up, don't they? Life could be so easy with a little give and take, but hey, who am I to say. I loved this story. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
-
ROFL! Yes, it's almost like people set out to mess things up. Thank you so much, Ulla, for your generous review and kind words. I'm glad you liked my goofy story. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from papa55mike
That's the key; keep moving forward until you finally get it right. But too many stop right before their moment of happiness. What a wonderfully written story. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
 |
That's the key; keep moving forward until you finally get it right. But too many stop right before their moment of happiness. What a wonderfully written story. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
-
Thank you so much, Mike, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. I'm a true fan and always enjoy reading our writing and getting your reviews. I'm so glad you liked this out-of-my-comfort-zone piece. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This is a story about a man named Ric who falls in love with a woman named Lori, but their relationship is complicated by misunderstandings and interference from other people. Despite their efforts to be together, they end up being separated for many years and both of them make choices that lead them down difficult paths. Eventually, they have the chance to reconnect and make a fresh start, but it is unclear if they will be able to overcome the challenges they have faced. The story includes themes of love, loss, and redemption, and touches on the impact that other people and past decisions can have on our lives.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
|
This is a story about a man named Ric who falls in love with a woman named Lori, but their relationship is complicated by misunderstandings and interference from other people. Despite their efforts to be together, they end up being separated for many years and both of them make choices that lead them down difficult paths. Eventually, they have the chance to reconnect and make a fresh start, but it is unclear if they will be able to overcome the challenges they have faced. The story includes themes of love, loss, and redemption, and touches on the impact that other people and past decisions can have on our lives.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
-
Thank you so much, Jasmine Girl, for your generous review and comments. Most of their problems were caused by their responsibilities and distance more so than by other people. But they did manage to spend a lot of time together despite the differences. I appreciate your taking time out to read and review my story.
Comment from lyenochka
Okay, so this is the conclusion? It's not a regular love story but somehow a believable one. It reminds me of that Alan Alda movie, "Same Time Next Year." Those two are madly in love, but can't leave their respective spouses. These lovers can't leave their respective lifestyles. It's not the "happily ever after" story we are used to, but the love is genuine. And the love is memorialized well in this story. Would make a good movie!
I really liked: "But now was her time to break free, choose a mask, and become part of the masquerade. "
Punctuation suggestions:
Fudpucker's and grab lunch," David suggested? (Fudpucker's and grab lunch?" David suggested.)
lit the couples joyful faces (couple's)
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
|
Okay, so this is the conclusion? It's not a regular love story but somehow a believable one. It reminds me of that Alan Alda movie, "Same Time Next Year." Those two are madly in love, but can't leave their respective spouses. These lovers can't leave their respective lifestyles. It's not the "happily ever after" story we are used to, but the love is genuine. And the love is memorialized well in this story. Would make a good movie!
I really liked: "But now was her time to break free, choose a mask, and become part of the masquerade. "
Punctuation suggestions:
Fudpucker's and grab lunch," David suggested? (Fudpucker's and grab lunch?" David suggested.)
lit the couples joyful faces (couple's)
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
-
Thanks for your generous review, kind words, and for catching my silly mistakes and pointing them out. And especially just for being you and hanging throughout another of my goofy stories. LOL. I appreciate YOU!
-
I'm so glad you wrote the story, Ric. I feel sad that it didn't work out the fairytale way but I'm also glad that you got to know each other.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Guess I ain't made that way.
Nicely written, but if I was Lori, I'd have found someone else in three years. If I was Ric, I wouldn't have run off after Sam gave him a green light. If I did run off, I'd called Sam before just showin' up. If I was Sam, I'd shot Ric dead.
Maybe if you made it three months...
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
|
Guess I ain't made that way.
Nicely written, but if I was Lori, I'd have found someone else in three years. If I was Ric, I wouldn't have run off after Sam gave him a green light. If I did run off, I'd called Sam before just showin' up. If I was Sam, I'd shot Ric dead.
Maybe if you made it three months...
Best wishes.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
-
Yes, Wayne, I'm not sure anyone in this story did much right. But I kept the conflict going and pissed off everyone who read any of it. LOL. It's always a please to read your posts and receive your reviews and see what you have to say. I appreciate YOU!
-
LOL
Hilarious!
Comment from LJbutterfly
I'm a sucker for roses, sunshine, ice cream and happily ever after. You didn't give it to me the way I expected. You gave David and Garland the fairytale ending. Your main characters were true-life realistic, which I appreciated. Well written reality is more satisfying because it is identifiable and relatable. There is a thirty year, happily-never-married Ric and Lori in my family. I enjoyed all 4 chapters.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
|
I'm a sucker for roses, sunshine, ice cream and happily ever after. You didn't give it to me the way I expected. You gave David and Garland the fairytale ending. Your main characters were true-life realistic, which I appreciated. Well written reality is more satisfying because it is identifiable and relatable. There is a thirty year, happily-never-married Ric and Lori in my family. I enjoyed all 4 chapters.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
-
Thank you so much, Lorraine. I had hoped you wouldn't be too disappointed with my middle-of-the-road ending. I just didn't want a sad Romeo and Juliet, or a happily-ever-after, just believable. I can't thank you enough for your kind words and all the stars. You've made my week with your comments. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from jmdg1954
No sooner than I read part 3, I come across part 4, the conclusion.
So Ric and Lori in a way that suited them, were able to have a life together. Not in the conventional way, but as you wrote; their undying true love lived on.
We'll done, John
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
|
No sooner than I read part 3, I come across part 4, the conclusion.
So Ric and Lori in a way that suited them, were able to have a life together. Not in the conventional way, but as you wrote; their undying true love lived on.
We'll done, John
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
-
Thank you so much, John, for your generous review and kind words. I had two shocking endings all figured out for this story, but then I decided I didn't want a sad Romeo and Juliet tear jerker or a happily-ever-after like so many. LOL. I'm glad you liked it and took time to read it. Very much appreciated!
Comment from jenintorre
Wow. What a great read. I loved the ending, very realistic and unslushy. I really liked the lavatory scene, hand on wall, spaghetti legs. Didn't think anyone used the word lavatory any more though. David and Garland in the diner scene - 'catch-up' did you mean ketchup?
Lori seemed to have gone downhill in just 3 years. Good job love is blind. Take care. Jen. X
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
|
Wow. What a great read. I loved the ending, very realistic and unslushy. I really liked the lavatory scene, hand on wall, spaghetti legs. Didn't think anyone used the word lavatory any more though. David and Garland in the diner scene - 'catch-up' did you mean ketchup?
Lori seemed to have gone downhill in just 3 years. Good job love is blind. Take care. Jen. X
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
-
Thanks, Jen, for another fantastic review, kind words, and my silly ketchup misspelling. That's one I can't even believe I made, and that no one else but you has caught. There is nothing you could have said that would have made me happier than "very realistic and unslushy." I didn't want a Romeo and Juliet or a happily-ever-after ending, which never would be the norm, to me. I always wait for your reviews and encouragement. I couldn't appreciate YOU more!
Comment from Susan Newell
Ric,
This whole story is very believable, though I have to wonder if it is more about pheromones than "true love." I liked how you wove in a sub-plot with a happy ending, while leaving the main plot basically never-ending . . . but rocky. You did an excellent job of creating characters with complicated relationships--much like most of real life.
Sue
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
|
Ric,
This whole story is very believable, though I have to wonder if it is more about pheromones than "true love." I liked how you wove in a sub-plot with a happy ending, while leaving the main plot basically never-ending . . . but rocky. You did an excellent job of creating characters with complicated relationships--much like most of real life.
Sue
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
-
Thank you, Sue, for your generous review, kind words, and opinion. If I accomplished nothing else but a believable, multidimensional story, then I'm happy. That was my goal. Much appreciated!
-
You certainly did that!
Comment from Malcolm Rothery
Superb 'show don't tell' narrative that dragged me in and kept me rapt. You create real characters that we can identify with, sympathise with and yet hate at the same time. I guess that sums up the human race and all its screwed up emotions. Great job.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
|
Superb 'show don't tell' narrative that dragged me in and kept me rapt. You create real characters that we can identify with, sympathise with and yet hate at the same time. I guess that sums up the human race and all its screwed up emotions. Great job.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
-
Thank you so much, Malcolm, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. Yes, sir, we never know what to expect from people, most seldom knowing themselves what they'll say or do next. And they put in little thought, or too much thought in finding their answers. LOL. I"m so glad you liked it. I appreciate You and your encouragement!