The Miranda Chronicles
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Welcome the Calm (Miranda)"Miranda solves a mystery.
16 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
It never occured to me it might be the police on their nightly rounds. I am with Mitch though, it is best to dial 911 and wait for the cops. If they don't show up swing the peas and run for the car. LOL Will she keep her promise to Aaron? Will she check Waylon's phone. A responsible parent would.It's best to keep up with what the kids are doing. Good Job! Nancy:)
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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It never occured to me it might be the police on their nightly rounds. I am with Mitch though, it is best to dial 911 and wait for the cops. If they don't show up swing the peas and run for the car. LOL Will she keep her promise to Aaron? Will she check Waylon's phone. A responsible parent would.It's best to keep up with what the kids are doing. Good Job! Nancy:)
Comment Written 26-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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Thanks, Nancy. I think she will help Aaron. If she's nothing else, she's a woman of her word. Gretchen
Comment from Rachelle Allen
"I almost beaned you with a can of peas." Even after a heart-stopping scare, the girl's still hilarious.
I'm hoping there's going to be something in that lake to implicate Missy at long last!!
You did great with this chapter, Gretchen. Just the right amount of tension and fear, then relief, then a pending situation. Excellent pacing, and just the right amount of humor.
You are sure-footed like a billy goat with the direction this is taking! I'm duly impressed! xo
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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"I almost beaned you with a can of peas." Even after a heart-stopping scare, the girl's still hilarious.
I'm hoping there's going to be something in that lake to implicate Missy at long last!!
You did great with this chapter, Gretchen. Just the right amount of tension and fear, then relief, then a pending situation. Excellent pacing, and just the right amount of humor.
You are sure-footed like a billy goat with the direction this is taking! I'm duly impressed! xo
Comment Written 26-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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Thanks, Rachelle. Been working on trying to be more subtle with things going on. I realize you can't have explosions in every chapter. For this chapter it was a lethal can of peas and soiled pants. Have a great week. Gretchen
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lol
Comment from royowen
Things are happening here, fancy that, it's only Mitch doing his deputy's rounds, and Miranda nearly brains with the can of peas. Then she gets home to discover Aaron there waiting to ask her if she'll going diving with her the next day. Beautifully written Gretchen, blessings Roy
Typo : Head (with) the can
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2022
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Things are happening here, fancy that, it's only Mitch doing his deputy's rounds, and Miranda nearly brains with the can of peas. Then she gets home to discover Aaron there waiting to ask her if she'll going diving with her the next day. Beautifully written Gretchen, blessings Roy
Typo : Head (with) the can
Comment Written 26-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2022
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Thank you, Roy for your awesome review. I appreciate the feedback. Gretchen
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Most welcome
Comment from Douglas Goff
Very nice with great dialogue.
One fine tune:
Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me
(Whenever someone is talking to themselves inside of their head it should be italicized. )
This was very good. Thanks!
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2022
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Very nice with great dialogue.
One fine tune:
Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me
(Whenever someone is talking to themselves inside of their head it should be italicized. )
This was very good. Thanks!
Comment Written 26-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2022
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Thank you. I'll try that with the advanced editor. Thank you for the feedback. Gretchen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I doubt the phone call is from Dougie. I'm wondering if Mitch is married. Hmmm, he might make a good date for Miranda. I think her and a police officer would be interesting. At least for a few laughs. I like this story.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2022
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I doubt the phone call is from Dougie. I'm wondering if Mitch is married. Hmmm, he might make a good date for Miranda. I think her and a police officer would be interesting. At least for a few laughs. I like this story.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2022
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That would be an interesting match up. Thank you, Barbara for this great review. Gretchen
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is easier to follow with the new format, thank you. Overall the chapter is coherent, and it's a situation that many of us have found ourselves in, in some shape or form. The expression of fear and tension was well done, but I think you should beware of the adverbs that detract from the flow. You can avoid them if you use stronger verbs. Kate xx
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reply by the author on 26-Oct-2022
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This is easier to follow with the new format, thank you. Overall the chapter is coherent, and it's a situation that many of us have found ourselves in, in some shape or form. The expression of fear and tension was well done, but I think you should beware of the adverbs that detract from the flow. You can avoid them if you use stronger verbs. Kate xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2022
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Thank you. I will re read and see what I can do. Thanks so much for your review. Gretchen
