New York's Best: the NYDOE
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "NYCDoHD Spells: Jobs"A Musical in One Act
28 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Well, seems like Zachary has made this interview a learning session for Mr. Kincade, even in Biblical Hebrew! I have heard other possibilities for Yisrael but I like the one you used best. As for Kincade's song, I am beginning to wonder where the plot will take us - will he find faith? Or will Zachary meet his father? Interesting progression, Jay. Not sure I can feel the melody yet - I can't tell how sincere Kincade is about his desire to believe...
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Well, seems like Zachary has made this interview a learning session for Mr. Kincade, even in Biblical Hebrew! I have heard other possibilities for Yisrael but I like the one you used best. As for Kincade's song, I am beginning to wonder where the plot will take us - will he find faith? Or will Zachary meet his father? Interesting progression, Jay. Not sure I can feel the melody yet - I can't tell how sincere Kincade is about his desire to believe...
Comment Written 02-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Thank you so kindly, Helen, for your encouragement. I've been playing around with the idea of having Zachary meet his Father during the course of the play, but I'm afraid that would broaden the scope too much for a one-act play. About Mr. Kincade's faith, before I began this play, I hadn't even considered the spiritual side of the man. It came wholly from the song. I really appreciate your following along.
Comment from Marienkiefer
Super exciting work.There is scope where lyrical content can go in a variety of directions.
-I am not sure where you may be taking all of this, but you have a great character in Zachary.
-I also find Betty an intriguing character.
-The Vaudeville, Big Band and Jazz era might be elements that are helpful to consider to develop a song in line with your script.
Great work on character descriptions.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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Super exciting work.There is scope where lyrical content can go in a variety of directions.
-I am not sure where you may be taking all of this, but you have a great character in Zachary.
-I also find Betty an intriguing character.
-The Vaudeville, Big Band and Jazz era might be elements that are helpful to consider to develop a song in line with your script.
Great work on character descriptions.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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Many thanks, Marien. I'm thrilled you liked the scene. I'm having some problems with the contest. If you want to enter the contest, wait a few days and check the contest listing. Meanwhile, thanks for reading and for your helpful comments.
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Clearly I'm going to need to read the previous scene. I was totally lost on the premise. Yet, your writing is so engaging I swept right to the end of the scene. I'm not sure where I was supposed to be going. But, wow, I had a great time getting there. You have serious talent.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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Clearly I'm going to need to read the previous scene. I was totally lost on the premise. Yet, your writing is so engaging I swept right to the end of the scene. I'm not sure where I was supposed to be going. But, wow, I had a great time getting there. You have serious talent.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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Thank you, NaughtieScribe. You know how to puff up a guy's confidence.
Jay
Comment from BethShelby
I'm not going to be one of your critics. As I've said, I've don't really understand musical.s but I'm trying and I'll stick with this one, since I've enjoyed other things you have written.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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I'm not going to be one of your critics. As I've said, I've don't really understand musical.s but I'm trying and I'll stick with this one, since I've enjoyed other things you have written.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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Thank you Beth, for your loyalty, but you don't need to finish something you don't enjoy. You've been excused, LOL. There will be other things I'll write.
Comment from BethShelby
I'm not going to be one of your critics. As I've said, I've don't really understand musical.s but I'm trying and I'll stick with this one, since I've enjoyed other things you have written.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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I'm not going to be one of your critics. As I've said, I've don't really understand musical.s but I'm trying and I'll stick with this one, since I've enjoyed other things you have written.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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Hmmmm, this is a duplicate posting. I don't quite know how that can happen.
Jay
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent, I think, tho you be the arbiter, constrained as I am by my unqualification. (The word I chose to type, red line regardless.)
Good luck with it and best wishes. I sincerely hope someone(s) out there cane be of greater assistance.
(smiley face here)
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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Excellent, I think, tho you be the arbiter, constrained as I am by my unqualification. (The word I chose to type, red line regardless.)
Good luck with it and best wishes. I sincerely hope someone(s) out there cane be of greater assistance.
(smiley face here)
Comment Written 01-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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Haha, thanks, Wayne. I'm just glad you read it.
Jay
Comment from susand3022
Hi Jay,
If you were going for lyrical content, like it felt like you were doing in your first act, you didn't quite make it here... not all the way anyway. Parts of it were, but not all. I don't think you could have gone there with all of it anyway, so I'm saying it's pretty good by me.
I'm liking the way these characters are coming along. Zachary is different, how can someone know so much and so little at the same time? Are you sure he was never a Shephard? LOL
Susan :)
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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Hi Jay,
If you were going for lyrical content, like it felt like you were doing in your first act, you didn't quite make it here... not all the way anyway. Parts of it were, but not all. I don't think you could have gone there with all of it anyway, so I'm saying it's pretty good by me.
I'm liking the way these characters are coming along. Zachary is different, how can someone know so much and so little at the same time? Are you sure he was never a Shephard? LOL
Susan :)
Comment Written 01-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Susan. You are a rock! You are making my day! Don't forget, go anywhere with your lyrics, as long as they are by Mr. Kincade. If you want to use the Gallery as a chorus, that's cool, but not necessary. Take it where you want it, as long as you stick to the core of Mr. Kincade, as you see him. Good luck.
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OOPS!
I'm afraid I went a little overboard then... it seems my 'song' is really 2. I may have just written your 3rd act. (sorry)
I did a little, sort of little, song for Zachary to introduce himself, then an answer from Mr. Kincade. I could always send you the one and post the other? lol Guess it just came to me and I wasn't paying attention to the directions.
Susan :)
Comment from judiverse
Congratulations on reaching that milestone post. Zachery is charming although befuddled. I like the idea of the job seekers serving as the chorus. In a busy office like this, I doubt that there would be time to chit chat about names or for so many of Zachery's musings. He certainly seems a bit lost, but the idea is (hopefully) to help him find a job as well as deal with the other job seekers. Good luck with the search for lyrics. judi
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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Congratulations on reaching that milestone post. Zachery is charming although befuddled. I like the idea of the job seekers serving as the chorus. In a busy office like this, I doubt that there would be time to chit chat about names or for so many of Zachery's musings. He certainly seems a bit lost, but the idea is (hopefully) to help him find a job as well as deal with the other job seekers. Good luck with the search for lyrics. judi
Comment Written 01-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much, Judi, for your kind words and the lovely star! Zachary is what he is, though. I've described him to another as a ball tethered to the pole of his soul. What you say, from the playwrighting standard, though, is valid. I don't want him to be a yawn-generator.
Jay
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You're very welcome. You'll need to have some control, what with all the other people waiting their turn. judi
Comment from Ulla
I just love it, love it, love it! Jay, this is so funny. The play with words, names and historical facts is hilarious, and the good Mr Kincade won't hold any of it against the good Mr Pattipero. That Odin is a God in the Nordic mythology has of course nothing to do with Wales, let alone anything else. Thank you for putting a smile on my face on a day that has been a rather sad day for me and my family. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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I just love it, love it, love it! Jay, this is so funny. The play with words, names and historical facts is hilarious, and the good Mr Kincade won't hold any of it against the good Mr Pattipero. That Odin is a God in the Nordic mythology has of course nothing to do with Wales, let alone anything else. Thank you for putting a smile on my face on a day that has been a rather sad day for me and my family. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 01-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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I know ... Odin is a wanderer though, right? And it might be significant that Zachary adopted Odin as his middle name. Gosh, thanks for the six stars, as usual. I posted this a few days later than usual. You are a doll!
Jay
Comment from Spitfire
What a delicious satire. Love the descriptive 'Folks in the gallery are clustered together like baby birds in a nest.' I envision people with their mouths wide open waiting to be fed.
Also a nice slam on government with 'the city would collapse without the Department of Human Development's part in keeping a fresh supply of workers to keep the gears of government turning.
To me, Zachary, with his obsession about his name, is a symbol of the stupidity or emptiness in the heads of those employed by Kincaide. For sure, the song with Biblical overtones will make everything all right. Anyway, that's my take on this, Jay.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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What a delicious satire. Love the descriptive 'Folks in the gallery are clustered together like baby birds in a nest.' I envision people with their mouths wide open waiting to be fed.
Also a nice slam on government with 'the city would collapse without the Department of Human Development's part in keeping a fresh supply of workers to keep the gears of government turning.
To me, Zachary, with his obsession about his name, is a symbol of the stupidity or emptiness in the heads of those employed by Kincaide. For sure, the song with Biblical overtones will make everything all right. Anyway, that's my take on this, Jay.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
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You do have some interesting takes on the satirical aspects of this play, Shari. That gives me some clues to look into how to emphasize certain aspects and deemphasize others. Thank you very much for reading and for giving me your point of view.