Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 69 "Whilst I sleep"Musings of an old man - 2022
33 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Your lovely nocturne poem, is very well written and the rhyme and rhythm flow flawlessly. The words of your dream, sending you to the stars, sending you into a trance until the morning light begins to take the dark away. All in all, a really lovely night sleep!! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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Your lovely nocturne poem, is very well written and the rhyme and rhythm flow flawlessly. The words of your dream, sending you to the stars, sending you into a trance until the morning light begins to take the dark away. All in all, a really lovely night sleep!! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 20-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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Smiling back with great feelings of validation for Whilst I Sleep, I thank you, Sandra. May your weekend be filled with rainbows and lollipops! 🙏🙏🎶🎶🎶🎶
Comment from Jasmine Girl
What a beautiful poem about sleep, dreams and renewal. The rhyming is great, and the poem flows well. This is a good night sleep will do to you with fanciful and memorable dreams.
Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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What a beautiful poem about sleep, dreams and renewal. The rhyming is great, and the poem flows well. This is a good night sleep will do to you with fanciful and memorable dreams.
Well done.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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Smiles and a big thank you! 😊🙏🙏
Comment from lyenochka
Love your Nocturna poem! You kept the rhyme scheme perfectly even with the more challenging middle line rhyme with "God, awed, unflawed" and you took us from night to morning with this celebration of night and sleep.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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Love your Nocturna poem! You kept the rhyme scheme perfectly even with the more challenging middle line rhyme with "God, awed, unflawed" and you took us from night to morning with this celebration of night and sleep.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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thank you!
Comment from Gloria ....
I do like this form, and I think you have done a fine job of it. The rhyme scheme of the second line in each tercet draws the piece together wonderfully so.
Excellent work, and many thanks for sharing. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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I do like this form, and I think you have done a fine job of it. The rhyme scheme of the second line in each tercet draws the piece together wonderfully so.
Excellent work, and many thanks for sharing. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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Gloria, thank you for this wonderful validation on Whilst I sleep.
Comment from GWHARGIS
I am unfamiliar with this style of poem. But I like it. Your beautiful poetry was quite evocative. The feeling of falling asleep in a transe like state and waking up renewed was written flawlessly. If I had a 6 you would surely get it. Alas.
Gretchen
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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I am unfamiliar with this style of poem. But I like it. Your beautiful poetry was quite evocative. The feeling of falling asleep in a transe like state and waking up renewed was written flawlessly. If I had a 6 you would surely get it. Alas.
Gretchen
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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Gretchen, I love getting your positive feedback and virtual six! Thank you!
Comment from jake cosmos aller
you really nailed this difficult form. I tried but I am afraid my attempt was a bit lame and you will get more votes than I will. So be it. Yours is better than mine.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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you really nailed this difficult form. I tried but I am afraid my attempt was a bit lame and you will get more votes than I will. So be it. Yours is better than mine.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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Jake, thanks however, every submission is a winner in my book! Kudo's for being a contributor!
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed this verse very much!
I am unfamiliar with this poetry
style, so thanks for the exposure!
This is well composed and presented.
The rhymes work well without force
and create a metre that flows smoothly.
Your phraselogy is excellent and transported
me into the night.
And after all... isn't that what great poetry is
about?
Writing in such a fashion that the reader is not
only engaged but that they walk away feeling
that they have read something very special.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
|
I enjoyed this verse very much!
I am unfamiliar with this poetry
style, so thanks for the exposure!
This is well composed and presented.
The rhymes work well without force
and create a metre that flows smoothly.
Your phraselogy is excellent and transported
me into the night.
And after all... isn't that what great poetry is
about?
Writing in such a fashion that the reader is not
only engaged but that they walk away feeling
that they have read something very special.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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K.L. my deepest feelings of gratitude have peaked with your positive validation of my poem Whilst I Sleep. Be well! 🙏🙏
Comment from Fleedleflump
I adore your third stanza - it changes pace slightly - more thoughtful, contemplative. That makes it all the more effective as a sense of realisation and conclusion. Beautifully written.
Mike
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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I adore your third stanza - it changes pace slightly - more thoughtful, contemplative. That makes it all the more effective as a sense of realisation and conclusion. Beautifully written.
Mike
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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Thank you Mike!
Comment from Raul1
I like your poem because this message sparks optimism and positivity. It is clear and concise. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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I like your poem because this message sparks optimism and positivity. It is clear and concise. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I enjoyed this Nocturnal poem Jim, the rhymes and the sentiments, you nailed this form and your poem is spiritual and edgy, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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I enjoyed this Nocturnal poem Jim, the rhymes and the sentiments, you nailed this form and your poem is spiritual and edgy, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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Thank you very much, I hope your weekend is all rainbows and lollipops!