Enshrouding Mists
Rhyming poem32 total reviews
Comment from Debbie Pope
Oh, I like this one, Melissa. I especially like your shivers that shudder. Well-crafted expressions like that delight me to no end. Your words make me feel invisible, all enshrouded in that fog. It's a lonely poem, but I like the mood. Sometimes it's fun to be hidden. Isn't that what hide and seek is all about?
Good luck in the contest. Surely it will win or at least make the leaderboard.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Oh, I like this one, Melissa. I especially like your shivers that shudder. Well-crafted expressions like that delight me to no end. Your words make me feel invisible, all enshrouded in that fog. It's a lonely poem, but I like the mood. Sometimes it's fun to be hidden. Isn't that what hide and seek is all about?
Good luck in the contest. Surely it will win or at least make the leaderboard.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Hi Debbie. Thanks so much. So glad you enjoyed the imagery... it is a bit creepy and a foil to the nature/flower themes that I usually do... but, hey, I am taking the FS meter class and Jim says we need to grow and expand our genres. LOL. Thanks again, my friend.!
Melissa
Comment from judiverse
You really create quite an atmosphere in this foggy mist. I expect to see Jack the Ripper lurking somewhere. Maybe those are his fingers the narrator feels! You emphasize the feeling of being alone, the sense of isolation. Such a night would give you an eerie feeling. Beautiful job of setting the move, and the flow is perfect for your subject. Excellent rhyme. Best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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You really create quite an atmosphere in this foggy mist. I expect to see Jack the Ripper lurking somewhere. Maybe those are his fingers the narrator feels! You emphasize the feeling of being alone, the sense of isolation. Such a night would give you an eerie feeling. Beautiful job of setting the move, and the flow is perfect for your subject. Excellent rhyme. Best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 01-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Hi Judi. Thank you so very much. It is different from my usual theme, but a perfect foil for all of my nature poems LOL. I went heavy on imagery and yes, I think it has old Jack hanging out in an alley somewhere. Ha! Thanks again, my friend.
Melissa
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This is so atmospheric. You carried off the mood perfectly. judi
Comment from RGstar
This is, without doubt, a six star poem. You captured, not only the essence of poetry, but you captured the heart of the thesis, the imagery, he soul.
Well chosen adjectives and nouns here where verbs need not work so hard, for so still is the piece, caught in the moment.
Beautiful writing.
Well done.
My best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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This is, without doubt, a six star poem. You captured, not only the essence of poetry, but you captured the heart of the thesis, the imagery, he soul.
Well chosen adjectives and nouns here where verbs need not work so hard, for so still is the piece, caught in the moment.
Beautiful writing.
Well done.
My best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 01-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Hey there, RG. I am delighted you liked it and must tell you that I always value your comments on my work... you seem to see below the surfaces :). Thanks so much.
Melissa
Comment from dragonpoet
Melissa.
This is a good literal descripton of walking on a drizzly night. But also a metaphoric look at loneliness and depression.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Melissa.
This is a good literal descripton of walking on a drizzly night. But also a metaphoric look at loneliness and depression.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 01-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Hi Joan. Thanks so much for your comments and review. Hugs, my friend.
Melissa
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You are most kindly welcome, Melissa.
Joan
Comment from Sally Law
Virtual six for today. I'm sorry to be out for this marvelous offering. It is so real! My goodness, I had to pull up the covers.
Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Virtual six for today. I'm sorry to be out for this marvelous offering. It is so real! My goodness, I had to pull up the covers.
Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 01-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Hi sweet Sal. I am so happy that you think it is worth a virtual six. Its a bit creepy, but a good foil to my usual work. Thanks so much.
Melissa
Comment from oliver818
This is a beautiful poem, I love the imagery.
Enshrouding mist (lovely)
Damp, tendril fingers (such a great image)
Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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This is a beautiful poem, I love the imagery.
Enshrouding mist (lovely)
Damp, tendril fingers (such a great image)
Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
Comment Written 01-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Thanks so much Oliver!
Melissa
Comment from nancy_e_davis
A silent, mesmerizing world is right. I love the picture, but I wouldn't want to walk that path alone. You certainly did a great job describing your take on the scene. Good alliteration with shivers shudder. "Enrobed in fog's sheer gown of gray, and, "entombed within the twilight spray" Excellent!.
Well done, Melissa. Good luck in the contest. I like this one. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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A silent, mesmerizing world is right. I love the picture, but I wouldn't want to walk that path alone. You certainly did a great job describing your take on the scene. Good alliteration with shivers shudder. "Enrobed in fog's sheer gown of gray, and, "entombed within the twilight spray" Excellent!.
Well done, Melissa. Good luck in the contest. I like this one. Nancy:)
Comment Written 01-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Thank you Nancy. It is a bit creepy, but I countered that with giving the words a bit of punch... or perhaps, I made them creepier...who knows. LOL. Thanks again.
Melissa
Comment from kahpot
What a wonderful and engrossing read, your descriptions of the dark gray cold are excellent, your rhyme and flow fits with ease, very well written and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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What a wonderful and engrossing read, your descriptions of the dark gray cold are excellent, your rhyme and flow fits with ease, very well written and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 01-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Thanks. I really appreciate your insight on this, Kim. It is a bit creepy, but a good foil for my usual poetic style. I'm all girl... butterflies and bows...even though I'm 62. My first grandchild is 3 months old and she and I are going to do sparkles and sequins. (Hubby and I had two boys, so this is past due :)
Thanks again.
Melissa
Comment from June Sargent
This rhyming poem has a creepy Victorian vibe to it - brings to mind the days of Jack the Ripper! And yet, the speaker seems to embrace the foggy tendrils of dampness, while being enshrouded in her gown of grey. Queen of darkness - it;s a foggy rain night here and I'm just in that kind of mood. lol I really liked this one.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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This rhyming poem has a creepy Victorian vibe to it - brings to mind the days of Jack the Ripper! And yet, the speaker seems to embrace the foggy tendrils of dampness, while being enshrouded in her gown of grey. Queen of darkness - it;s a foggy rain night here and I'm just in that kind of mood. lol I really liked this one.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Hi June... yes, the photo especially looks like old Jack could be hiding in alleys, but it is a foil for my usual flowery/naturalistic style... so I went with it. LOL Thanks so much, my friend.
Melissa
Comment from lyenochka
Ooooh! How poetically creepy! Great lines - I especially liked "Damp, tendril fingers grasp at me" and "enrobed in fog's sheer gown of gray." I'm sure this should do well in the contest!
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Ooooh! How poetically creepy! Great lines - I especially liked "Damp, tendril fingers grasp at me" and "enrobed in fog's sheer gown of gray." I'm sure this should do well in the contest!
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Hey there Helen. I am delighted that you said "ooooh", it means I made you react... my original intent. I did enjoy diving head first into imagery, even if it is bit dark... should have saved this for Halloween, but , oh well. Thanks for a great review. My flowery poetry is on the way... LOL. Hugs!
Melissa