Sories Poetically Speaking
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "End of the Farnsworth Line"A complete story in written as a poem.
31 total reviews
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
Congratulations for well written loop poem that reminisces the end of the Farnsworth line that was occasioned by his getting his daughters endowed with anti social character.
The work highlights the daughters with faces devoid of smiles; their getting forbidden from wedding; their growing bitterness for following their father's bidding and its likely cost of wiping out the Farnsworth line.
The work earns its texture through its effective highlight of causative anecdotes that foretell their eventual wiping out as a lineage.
Excellent work. Bravo.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
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Congratulations for well written loop poem that reminisces the end of the Farnsworth line that was occasioned by his getting his daughters endowed with anti social character.
The work highlights the daughters with faces devoid of smiles; their getting forbidden from wedding; their growing bitterness for following their father's bidding and its likely cost of wiping out the Farnsworth line.
The work earns its texture through its effective highlight of causative anecdotes that foretell their eventual wiping out as a lineage.
Excellent work. Bravo.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Lloyd. I really appreciate the review and nice comments on this poem.
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Remain Blessed.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Great poem for the contest. Also, love the picture; so typical of that era. This longer poem is well-drafted and the narrative flows very nicely; good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
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Great poem for the contest. Also, love the picture; so typical of that era. This longer poem is well-drafted and the narrative flows very nicely; good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Ted. I appreciate your review on this poem and your good wishes.
Comment from Earl Corp
I think this could also served as a tell a story in a poem contest entry as well as the loop poetry. Very nice job. Good luck in the contest. Stay safe and stay healthy in the new year.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
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I think this could also served as a tell a story in a poem contest entry as well as the loop poetry. Very nice job. Good luck in the contest. Stay safe and stay healthy in the new year.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
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Thank you for reviewing this, Earl. I'm glad you like it.
Smiles.
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are strong, clear, descriptive and creative. I especially
ponder on the last stanza. I agree totally with the author words. The poem flows and connects well. The poem has an excellent message.
May you have a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!...Maria
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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The author's words are strong, clear, descriptive and creative. I especially
ponder on the last stanza. I agree totally with the author words. The poem flows and connects well. The poem has an excellent message.
May you have a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!...Maria
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and very affirmative comments. I appreciate it.
Smiles,
Comment from Tina Crute
I spy a winner!
They look so miserable, so the black and white drama of your words is fitting. Did you make this story up? How creative! Not only is your loop poetry so well done and rich in meaning, that the rhyme does not stand out, but it is so interesting and believable, based on the picture. I love the last stanza as it uses the plight of that family to pose a warning that we can all do well to remember. I am out of sixes:( You deserve one!
Tina
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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I spy a winner!
They look so miserable, so the black and white drama of your words is fitting. Did you make this story up? How creative! Not only is your loop poetry so well done and rich in meaning, that the rhyme does not stand out, but it is so interesting and believable, based on the picture. I love the last stanza as it uses the plight of that family to pose a warning that we can all do well to remember. I am out of sixes:( You deserve one!
Tina
Comment Written 18-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and the kind thoughts. So far only two other have entered the contest. It was suppose to have ended last week, but it was postponed due to lack of entries.
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You are welcome. I enjoyed this! I will have to keep an eye out for the voting booths. I've been so busy getting ready for Christmas.
Have a merry Christmas!
Comment from zanya
A cautionary tale about influencing childrens' choices in life - these ladies in their period dress do not appear to be happy - so much for following 'Papa's pathway' !
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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A cautionary tale about influencing childrens' choices in life - these ladies in their period dress do not appear to be happy - so much for following 'Papa's pathway' !
Comment Written 18-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. They certainly don't look happy. They are pretty homely. Someone suggested they look like men, so it has me wondering if they're actually cross-dressers.
Comment from Alma Barkman
You did very well in carrying out the loop challenge.
I wonder if it should be "served at tea time" since the rest is in the past tense.
You certainly punched home a great truth in the last two lines! I couldn't agree more.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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You did very well in carrying out the loop challenge.
I wonder if it should be "served at tea time" since the rest is in the past tense.
You certainly punched home a great truth in the last two lines! I couldn't agree more.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I think you are write. I should put serve in the past tense. I've changed it.
Comment from royowen
I must admit I know how Farnsworth felt, no one was good enough for my girls either, but there lives are not mine to choose for them, and they did choose well, and now I've got the most beautiful grandchildren, this is a masterly loop poem, brilliantly done, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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I must admit I know how Farnsworth felt, no one was good enough for my girls either, but there lives are not mine to choose for them, and they did choose well, and now I've got the most beautiful grandchildren, this is a masterly loop poem, brilliantly done, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 18-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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LOL You knew how Farnsworth felt, but you had the good sense not to try to choose your children part for them. Thank you so much for the review and comments.
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That?s right
Comment from Mary Vigasin
A very well-written loop poem. It does happen. Parental control can smoother adult lives. My cousins never left the home they were raised in.
My aunt finally left when she was 65.
I have one loop I thought did not seem smooth. "It was not a thing he chose
Chose instead, they serve at tea time.
I wonder if would be smoother if it read:
"Chose instead TO serve at tea time.
Just a thought.
Good job to enter in the contest.
Best of luck
Mary
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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A very well-written loop poem. It does happen. Parental control can smoother adult lives. My cousins never left the home they were raised in.
My aunt finally left when she was 65.
I have one loop I thought did not seem smooth. "It was not a thing he chose
Chose instead, they serve at tea time.
I wonder if would be smoother if it read:
"Chose instead TO serve at tea time.
Just a thought.
Good job to enter in the contest.
Best of luck
Mary
Comment Written 18-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and comments and suggestion on this loop poem. I really appreciate it.'
Smiles.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A poignant write and these are an ugly bunch of girls! Ha ha ha, a smile makes a girl look beautiful when she hasn't been blessed with natural beauty. This is a clever loop, they are not easy to write, I hardly noticed it was a loop, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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A poignant write and these are an ugly bunch of girls! Ha ha ha, a smile makes a girl look beautiful when she hasn't been blessed with natural beauty. This is a clever loop, they are not easy to write, I hardly noticed it was a loop, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 18-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much Dorlly, I appreciate the review and comments. I don't know where the picture came from, but when I saw it I wanted to write about it. Someone suggested the women look transgender. After looking again, I do think they might be men. There are some other Victorian cross-dresser pictures on the net.
