Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Genius in Love, Scene 13"In Search of a Soul
31 total reviews
Comment from Janilou
I will confess to knowing absolutely nothing about the correct way to write or present a script but I did enjoy reading this!
The idea of the mind music was fascinating. I was watching a documentary about Paul McCartney and his music the other night and he was saying he never did learn how to read music even though he could play the piano. He said, (demonstrating as he spoke) that once you realise how to play chords on a piano, you can write a song! I went home and tried it on our old piano and he's right!
Anyway, all to say this reminded me of that. I loved reading about your characters in the notes. You portray Cornelius's autism in a very realistic way. I work in that field with people like him.
Well done! I couldn't see any errors. :-)
Jan
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
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I will confess to knowing absolutely nothing about the correct way to write or present a script but I did enjoy reading this!
The idea of the mind music was fascinating. I was watching a documentary about Paul McCartney and his music the other night and he was saying he never did learn how to read music even though he could play the piano. He said, (demonstrating as he spoke) that once you realise how to play chords on a piano, you can write a song! I went home and tried it on our old piano and he's right!
Anyway, all to say this reminded me of that. I loved reading about your characters in the notes. You portray Cornelius's autism in a very realistic way. I work in that field with people like him.
Well done! I couldn't see any errors. :-)
Jan
Comment Written 03-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
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Many thanks, Jan. You are one of a couple of readers who has contact, whether familially or through work with autistic people. It does my heart good to know it seems realistic to you since I only have my mind and the tv series, The Good Doctor, to work with.
Again, thank you.
Comment from robyn corum
Jay,
Yeah, something big is afoot. I have no idea what you're up to, but that much space allotted to this convo means something big.
Only one small note -
--> (B)aaad mu-sic
Thanks, Jaybird!
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
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Jay,
Yeah, something big is afoot. I have no idea what you're up to, but that much space allotted to this convo means something big.
Only one small note -
--> (B)aaad mu-sic
Thanks, Jaybird!
Comment Written 03-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
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Jaybird! I love it! Thanks for dropping by, Robyn.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is an excellent way to describe the terrain of the mind and reassure Cornelius that he is a part of life like everyone else. It might be better if Cililla can convince him more quickly that no one heard those two off notes as he needs to trust her. This is very powerful writing, and your recognition for it is very much deserved.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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This is an excellent way to describe the terrain of the mind and reassure Cornelius that he is a part of life like everyone else. It might be better if Cililla can convince him more quickly that no one heard those two off notes as he needs to trust her. This is very powerful writing, and your recognition for it is very much deserved.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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Thank you so much, Carol. Your kindness and encouragement is appreciated. This was a very abstract subject, which is why Cililla chose Simile and first, metaphor afterward to paint pictures in his autistic mind. The complexity and length can still use some tightening up, but I had to take an extra week to trim it down from what I had the first week.
Comment from GregoryCody
I get it. Wow. NICE CLOSE. Really leaves you wanting more. And again, your action descriptions set the scene so well. Like you're there.
[Dutifully, CORNELIUS closes his eyes, but there is still an occasional twitch in his facial muscles.]
I also like the characters. You start to really kind of "get" Cornelius, the way you write about him. I mean you kind of Understand how his brain works. Haha hard to explain it, ironically.
Great job and stellar writing. Nothing was needed :)
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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I get it. Wow. NICE CLOSE. Really leaves you wanting more. And again, your action descriptions set the scene so well. Like you're there.
[Dutifully, CORNELIUS closes his eyes, but there is still an occasional twitch in his facial muscles.]
I also like the characters. You start to really kind of "get" Cornelius, the way you write about him. I mean you kind of Understand how his brain works. Haha hard to explain it, ironically.
Great job and stellar writing. Nothing was needed :)
Comment Written 01-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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Once again, you honored me with a six. Thank you so much for your kind words and your encouragement.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Jay:
It is almost as if Cililla Queez is afraid that Cornelius's concern about whether or not Jennie's father likes him means he is becoming more aware of what others think of him. In effect, this will leave less room in his mind for her. I feel she is worried he may one day no longer need her.
jan
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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Jay:
It is almost as if Cililla Queez is afraid that Cornelius's concern about whether or not Jennie's father likes him means he is becoming more aware of what others think of him. In effect, this will leave less room in his mind for her. I feel she is worried he may one day no longer need her.
jan
Comment Written 01-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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Oh, Jan, you are so kind. Thank you for the six and for your lovely words
Comment from kmoss
In scenes like this, I'm next to them in a boat and I forget she isn't real. Beautifully written as always!
Where the hell are they taking him now?
Love this part:
But you can't let yourself forget ... as absorbing as your piano music is, it's different from your mind's music. Your mind's music is very powerful--but private. No one else can hear your mind's music.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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In scenes like this, I'm next to them in a boat and I forget she isn't real. Beautifully written as always!
Where the hell are they taking him now?
Love this part:
But you can't let yourself forget ... as absorbing as your piano music is, it's different from your mind's music. Your mind's music is very powerful--but private. No one else can hear your mind's music.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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Don't you ever say you can't take a good picture. That's a hot one. Krystal, thank you for hanging with this play. Your interest in it means a lot to me.
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It?s the toilet shot! Swear it is! LOL.
One of these days, I?ll be able to write like you! :)
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Well, it's a keeper. Flush the toilet, then send that to the Sister Elizabeth.
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Lol. That picture will not work on Medium though. :(
Comment from lancellot
A good continuation from the previous scene and you're doing well showing how Cornelius dealt with the date/gathering and how he is dealing with not seeing Jennie. (Starting to get hose Forest Gump vibes, are you?)
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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A good continuation from the previous scene and you're doing well showing how Cornelius dealt with the date/gathering and how he is dealing with not seeing Jennie. (Starting to get hose Forest Gump vibes, are you?)
Comment Written 01-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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Hahaha, you don't know how many times I had to pull on the reins so I wouldn't come off with a Forrest Gump character. Hey, wasn't his girlfriend Jennie? Or was it Jinny?
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Yes, Jenny.
Comment from tfawcus
I think this soliloquy is quite brilliant in its metaphor of the boats, your exploration of the difference between internal and external music and that grasping at what music truly is. There were several passages I re-read for the pure pleasure of letting them sink in.
One of my favourites is But you can't let yourself forget ... as absorbing as your piano music is, it's different from your mind's music. Your mind's music is very powerful--but private. No one else can hear your mind's music. Sometimes I think I almost can, Cornie, but it's really not the music; it's something else I am feeling which is as beautiful as the music. That's something special we share--through our ... our connection.
(A look of frustration compresses her lips)
Words! Okay ... Okay, it's like I am in another boat, nearby. A small boat, like yours, on that immense ocean of pure music.
Marvellous writing, Jay, and such a sensitive portrayal of autism. You have taken us inside a mind of great beauty.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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I think this soliloquy is quite brilliant in its metaphor of the boats, your exploration of the difference between internal and external music and that grasping at what music truly is. There were several passages I re-read for the pure pleasure of letting them sink in.
One of my favourites is But you can't let yourself forget ... as absorbing as your piano music is, it's different from your mind's music. Your mind's music is very powerful--but private. No one else can hear your mind's music. Sometimes I think I almost can, Cornie, but it's really not the music; it's something else I am feeling which is as beautiful as the music. That's something special we share--through our ... our connection.
(A look of frustration compresses her lips)
Words! Okay ... Okay, it's like I am in another boat, nearby. A small boat, like yours, on that immense ocean of pure music.
Marvellous writing, Jay, and such a sensitive portrayal of autism. You have taken us inside a mind of great beauty.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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You don't know how much your words mean to me, Tony. I struggled so much with this scene (which is why it took two weeks to complete) and almost ditched it, and the rest of the play because it seemed so abstract and I couldn't nail it down to experience. Yet it was all necessary, I felt, for Cornelius to grow in his burgeoning life. You are so generous. Thanks for the six. You'd better get your next chapter on the boards soon. I'm about to run out of sixes ... and I know without reading it that it will be deserving of one.
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You may need to dispense that six elsewhere this week, Jay. I haven't started writing the next chapter yet!
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jay, Cililla is trying her best to get through to Cornelius, and she seems to be fighting against the odds. As I see it, not even Cornelius understand a lot of it. What also has to be taken into consideration, is that this is taking place in 1952. Not a lot was known about autism back then. It's great writing and so endearing. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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Hi Jay, Cililla is trying her best to get through to Cornelius, and she seems to be fighting against the odds. As I see it, not even Cornelius understand a lot of it. What also has to be taken into consideration, is that this is taking place in 1952. Not a lot was known about autism back then. It's great writing and so endearing. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 01-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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Thank you, Ulla. As it was pointed out by another here, this would work so much better as a movie script than a play. I could then have used flashbacks and closeups. But as he pointed out, on the stage a lot of this would be missing.
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Very true.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Why is Cornelius being taking to Mr. Hallow's office? Seems a little strange to me. I am worried about Jennie and Cornelius. Have her parents decided she can't see him any more. I sure hope not, but things like that do happen. Great Write!!
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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Why is Cornelius being taking to Mr. Hallow's office? Seems a little strange to me. I am worried about Jennie and Cornelius. Have her parents decided she can't see him any more. I sure hope not, but things like that do happen. Great Write!!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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Yeah, there must be some reason he's going to see Mr. Hallow. I'll try to figure it out by next week. Meanwhile thanks for your six stars of praise!