My Friend Across the Fence
The hardest lesson I've ever learned33 total reviews
Comment from royowen
Such a sad, sad story, if Frankie were alive today, he would have survived, but it was not to be. I like that expression, "across the fence". I was deeply moved, and yes, it's the bias of the world that separates us, and the fear that we will be looked down upon. Beautifully written my friend, an excellent story. Blessings Roy
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Such a sad, sad story, if Frankie were alive today, he would have survived, but it was not to be. I like that expression, "across the fence". I was deeply moved, and yes, it's the bias of the world that separates us, and the fear that we will be looked down upon. Beautifully written my friend, an excellent story. Blessings Roy
Comment Written 14-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Hi there Roy, thanks so much for reading and reviewing this story. I do appreciate it.
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Most welcome
Comment from John Garvey
Hey Justin,
I grew up in a mid-sized, conservative midwestern city where being gay would have been a very difficult experience. And sex was also super taboo. I still have minor hang-ups about it as an adult because, among other things, I didn't receive any gender/sex education growing up and was left to piece things together more or less on my own.
I'm almost certain that if I had a childhood friend who turned out to be gay I would have acted similarly towards him as an adolescent, buckling to peer pressure.
So I relate to this in several ways. For that reason, and because it was objectively well-written, I found this story very worthwhile. I'm sure telling it required some degree of courage. It's also just honest--neither preachy nor self-congratulatory nor self-loathing. To me, Frankie's forgiving, kind attitude towards you in your adult conversations provided the greatest perspective and wisdom. It speaks so well of him. I'm sorry the world lost him at a young age.
There's something about the ending that's not quite as powerful as it could be. It was a good ending, but I feel like you could have made it really powerful. You've grown. Your perspective has changed. The analogy about the fence is good. But after such an honest and poignant story, I wanted something more raw. What do you feel you really lost from the intervening years between your falling out and the time you reconnected? What did you ultimately gain from the friendship? Do you have any lingering anger, or sadness, or shame towards a society that drove a wedge between two best friends? Towards yourself?
I'm not suggesting you should embellish, or force anything that isn't there. You feel the way you feel, you've told a story admirably well and honestly. I just wonder if you could include something like that in the final segment.
All in all, this is quality writing. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Hey Justin,
I grew up in a mid-sized, conservative midwestern city where being gay would have been a very difficult experience. And sex was also super taboo. I still have minor hang-ups about it as an adult because, among other things, I didn't receive any gender/sex education growing up and was left to piece things together more or less on my own.
I'm almost certain that if I had a childhood friend who turned out to be gay I would have acted similarly towards him as an adolescent, buckling to peer pressure.
So I relate to this in several ways. For that reason, and because it was objectively well-written, I found this story very worthwhile. I'm sure telling it required some degree of courage. It's also just honest--neither preachy nor self-congratulatory nor self-loathing. To me, Frankie's forgiving, kind attitude towards you in your adult conversations provided the greatest perspective and wisdom. It speaks so well of him. I'm sorry the world lost him at a young age.
There's something about the ending that's not quite as powerful as it could be. It was a good ending, but I feel like you could have made it really powerful. You've grown. Your perspective has changed. The analogy about the fence is good. But after such an honest and poignant story, I wanted something more raw. What do you feel you really lost from the intervening years between your falling out and the time you reconnected? What did you ultimately gain from the friendship? Do you have any lingering anger, or sadness, or shame towards a society that drove a wedge between two best friends? Towards yourself?
I'm not suggesting you should embellish, or force anything that isn't there. You feel the way you feel, you've told a story admirably well and honestly. I just wonder if you could include something like that in the final segment.
All in all, this is quality writing. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Hi John, thanks so much for reading and reviewing this, and particularly for your thorough review. You make some very good points about the ending. I will revisit this story and work on that.
Comment from lancellot
This is was a very moving story and one that I'm sure has been repeated many times throughout human history over differences, be the sexual orientation, race, religion, class, caste or whatever. but, I do have to disagree with your old friend. It is not the world that keeps people from reaching across that fence. It is a lack of courage. Nothing more or less.
Well told.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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This is was a very moving story and one that I'm sure has been repeated many times throughout human history over differences, be the sexual orientation, race, religion, class, caste or whatever. but, I do have to disagree with your old friend. It is not the world that keeps people from reaching across that fence. It is a lack of courage. Nothing more or less.
Well told.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Hello Lance, thanks for reading and reviewing this story. Always good to hear from you.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Wow, this is a very well told, but heart-wrenching story, Justin. It's interesting how you and Frankie learned about your own sexuality through the book, and that you sort of knew where Frankie stood, but chose to ignore it because of the stigma at the time. I'm glad that you at least got to talk to him again a few times before he died. You're making a difference now.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Wow, this is a very well told, but heart-wrenching story, Justin. It's interesting how you and Frankie learned about your own sexuality through the book, and that you sort of knew where Frankie stood, but chose to ignore it because of the stigma at the time. I'm glad that you at least got to talk to him again a few times before he died. You're making a difference now.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Hello Judy. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story, and for sharing your sentiments on it. Your words are very supportive. And thanks for the excellent rating. That's encouraging too.
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
This is well written and Amazing true story. It really touched my heart. It's so sad that being gay wasn't accepted and the harsh words used like homo continuously degrading them for being different. My stepson had a struggle with his sexuality he's gay and came out some years ago. He went down a wrong path for awhile and used drugs dated beautiful models trying to fit in but told me he could never fall in love with a girl. He came out his life changed. He now has a partner. Whom he's engaged to he's in university now doing well. His dad and mom are very accepting. After all like my husband said he's my son first. I don't have a gay son . I have a son that's gay. I really could relate to your story. I'm
Glad you got them moments to reconnect with your friend.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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This is well written and Amazing true story. It really touched my heart. It's so sad that being gay wasn't accepted and the harsh words used like homo continuously degrading them for being different. My stepson had a struggle with his sexuality he's gay and came out some years ago. He went down a wrong path for awhile and used drugs dated beautiful models trying to fit in but told me he could never fall in love with a girl. He came out his life changed. He now has a partner. Whom he's engaged to he's in university now doing well. His dad and mom are very accepting. After all like my husband said he's my son first. I don't have a gay son . I have a son that's gay. I really could relate to your story. I'm
Glad you got them moments to reconnect with your friend.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Hello, Joanne. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story. I see a lot of families have gone through similar issues on this subject. And thanks for the six-star review. That's very encouraging.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Children only say things like that because they hear it from their parents. It's a sad thing that your friendship was destroyed because of some illiterate boys who will grow up like their fathers. We are all people, we are all different, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends with each other. Your story was so touching, and I'm delighted you and Frankie were reunited before it was too late. I'm sure he is smiling down on you today. This is a lovely story, written beautifully. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Children only say things like that because they hear it from their parents. It's a sad thing that your friendship was destroyed because of some illiterate boys who will grow up like their fathers. We are all people, we are all different, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends with each other. Your story was so touching, and I'm delighted you and Frankie were reunited before it was too late. I'm sure he is smiling down on you today. This is a lovely story, written beautifully. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 14-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Thanks for your review, Sandra, and for your thought-provoking observations on this subject.
Comment from amahra
This was certainly a very touching story and glad you and Frankie connected before he passed away. The artwork and title both worked in telling this interesting true story. Great job.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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This was certainly a very touching story and glad you and Frankie connected before he passed away. The artwork and title both worked in telling this interesting true story. Great job.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Thanks so much for your review and kind words, amahra.
Comment from equestrik
This is a well constructed story and a tragic reality for so many. You have written it well and have interjected a great deal of humanity here. All the best to you.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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This is a well constructed story and a tragic reality for so many. You have written it well and have interjected a great deal of humanity here. All the best to you.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Thanks for reviewing this, equestrik. I appreciate it.
Comment from l.raven
Erik, OMG...how great to see you again...I hope you have been well and safe...
This is such and amazing story told my friend...
it truly had me crying...
I felt bad you walked away from
Frankie...but that is what pure pressure can do when your young...and in school on top of it...trying to empress...
Thank God you called him...just knowing you never stopped being his friend...healed a pain in his heart...made his last days on earth peaceful ones...
I love your story told...and your picture perfect...very well written you...love Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Erik, OMG...how great to see you again...I hope you have been well and safe...
This is such and amazing story told my friend...
it truly had me crying...
I felt bad you walked away from
Frankie...but that is what pure pressure can do when your young...and in school on top of it...trying to empress...
Thank God you called him...just knowing you never stopped being his friend...healed a pain in his heart...made his last days on earth peaceful ones...
I love your story told...and your picture perfect...very well written you...love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much, Linda, for your review and encouraging words. Always good to hear from you.
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you too...and you are so very welcome...always...love xxoo
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xoxo
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smiling big ...xxoo
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Hey, I just checked your portfolio. You haven't written a bloody thing in 6 months, lady. Better get hoppin'.
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I'm working on it...slowly coming back...love xxoo
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I'm working on it...slowly coming back...love xxoo
Comment from jenintorre
O.M.G.This story really cut me up. I feel for you having that on your concience but also understand your predicament. A very well written tale. Good luck in the competition. Jen
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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O.M.G.This story really cut me up. I feel for you having that on your concience but also understand your predicament. A very well written tale. Good luck in the competition. Jen
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Hi there Jen, thanks so much for reading and reviewing this story. I do appreciate it.