Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Genius in Love, Scene 11"In Search of a Soul
29 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
Wow! So much here to watch as a play. The actor who gets this part of Cililla will be a genius as well. The instructions and movements will be a miricle of performance and communication to the audience.
After all the frenetic interaction between the two characters, which I must say I can barely imagine occuring on a stage without a close-up possibility. Either a camera angle which allow the audience a closer view of this 'in-your-face' teaching technique of Cililla's.
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In this narration piece...
He is easily within her field of vision now. She had no hope of this much progress, and she wants to end it on a positive note.
... there is no way that the audience can know this without it being spoken. This is the only useful critique I can offer. The transfer of what the character thinks can only be delivered to the audience by the actors' emotions and actions. She may well have to think out loud or address the audience to have them understand this inner struggle.
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Hey! I found a possible flippity-floppity:
After about 15 seconds without hearing (tale-tell) signs...
Unless this adjective is used this way elsewhere.
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So much fun reading this, Jay. It has to be a blast writing it.
Happy day.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Wow! So much here to watch as a play. The actor who gets this part of Cililla will be a genius as well. The instructions and movements will be a miricle of performance and communication to the audience.
After all the frenetic interaction between the two characters, which I must say I can barely imagine occuring on a stage without a close-up possibility. Either a camera angle which allow the audience a closer view of this 'in-your-face' teaching technique of Cililla's.
----------
In this narration piece...
He is easily within her field of vision now. She had no hope of this much progress, and she wants to end it on a positive note.
... there is no way that the audience can know this without it being spoken. This is the only useful critique I can offer. The transfer of what the character thinks can only be delivered to the audience by the actors' emotions and actions. She may well have to think out loud or address the audience to have them understand this inner struggle.
--------
Hey! I found a possible flippity-floppity:
After about 15 seconds without hearing (tale-tell) signs...
Unless this adjective is used this way elsewhere.
---------
So much fun reading this, Jay. It has to be a blast writing it.
Happy day.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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You are absolutely right about the narration part of this scene. I will have to take a close look at that. Thank you. It may have been fun to read. It was not fun to write. It lacked the dramatic electricity that I wanted.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is brilliant, Jay! Either you have some background in helping people like Cornelius, or you've done a lot of research, or you've just made it all up, but made it so believable. It left me with a smile and hope for Cornelius. Amazing writing.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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This is brilliant, Jay! Either you have some background in helping people like Cornelius, or you've done a lot of research, or you've just made it all up, but made it so believable. It left me with a smile and hope for Cornelius. Amazing writing.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Well, Judy, I have to say it was more made up than anything. I have in my mind when I write Cornelius's dialogue the TV series, "The Good Doctor," which was based on such an autistic person. I suggest you watch an episode of it, even on youtube. Judy, thank you for the six stars.
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Ha, I should have known! We watch that all the time!
Comment from tfawcus
This will need some skilled acting to maintain the tension. An excellent account of the therapy session, in which you have held a fine line between the slow pace of transactions such as this and the exigencies of the theatre. You can only hold an audience for so long! Mind you - Samuel Becket managed an entire play of inaction with Waiting for Godot! I think you have the balance about right.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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This will need some skilled acting to maintain the tension. An excellent account of the therapy session, in which you have held a fine line between the slow pace of transactions such as this and the exigencies of the theatre. You can only hold an audience for so long! Mind you - Samuel Becket managed an entire play of inaction with Waiting for Godot! I think you have the balance about right.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your compliment, Tony. I don't feel that the balance was quite right. I needed more space for how long it would reasonably take, even for a genius, for such progress should take place. to me it lacked full believability. Thank you for your usual kindness, Tony, and the beautiful star.
Comment from Senyai
Hi Jay,
Oh, I am so happy you steered the story into the uncharted territory of Cornie accomplishing eye contact with Cililla's eyebrows instead of her pretty shiny ear. The intended target was the ear but Cornie did one better and chose the eyebrow because I'm sure he is beginning to understand that to engage correctly with people now and get a good response is to have eye contact. Eye contact is very hard for autistic people or people with Aspergers to do for what every reason. Nerves I would assume. Eyes looking back at you, can be disconcerting, I'm sure. The pickle jar shattering on the floor in a million tiny exploded pieces made a huge impression on Cornie's psyche and will most likely be mentioned again.
Jay, this is such a new twist that is so sweet beyond what I imaged for Cornie to impress Jennie and her parents so he can continue his new found relationship with her. He definitely wants to share more sandwiches at recess with Jennie Jax.
Cililla is gentle and showing her true colors as a loving guide to prepare Cornie for his teenage years. Ingenious ...
Excellent!
Always,
Senyai
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Hi Jay,
Oh, I am so happy you steered the story into the uncharted territory of Cornie accomplishing eye contact with Cililla's eyebrows instead of her pretty shiny ear. The intended target was the ear but Cornie did one better and chose the eyebrow because I'm sure he is beginning to understand that to engage correctly with people now and get a good response is to have eye contact. Eye contact is very hard for autistic people or people with Aspergers to do for what every reason. Nerves I would assume. Eyes looking back at you, can be disconcerting, I'm sure. The pickle jar shattering on the floor in a million tiny exploded pieces made a huge impression on Cornie's psyche and will most likely be mentioned again.
Jay, this is such a new twist that is so sweet beyond what I imaged for Cornie to impress Jennie and her parents so he can continue his new found relationship with her. He definitely wants to share more sandwiches at recess with Jennie Jax.
Cililla is gentle and showing her true colors as a loving guide to prepare Cornie for his teenage years. Ingenious ...
Excellent!
Always,
Senyai
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much for your most thorough review. It was so thorough that I tried to give you a reviewer vote, but was informed I'd already given you one for this month. I am sorry. But I do love that you focused so correctly on my intention for this scene. Again, Thank you for that. And of course ... for the lovely six stars!
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You are very welcome, Jay. As always.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Jay:
Those who do not understand children with autism - especially those once known as having Aspberger's Syndrome - could learn a lot from today's script. Being on the spectrum is not easy for anyone and people not being understanding only makes it worse.
Jan
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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Jay:
Those who do not understand children with autism - especially those once known as having Aspberger's Syndrome - could learn a lot from today's script. Being on the spectrum is not easy for anyone and people not being understanding only makes it worse.
Jan
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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Bless you, Jan, bless you.
Comment from royowen
I always found when one is good at what they do, being a talent covers a multitude of sins, although God says, love does. But the world is funny, if you're good at sport or one is a good musician, both certainly, it gives one a refuge, but the perfect refuge is Christ Himself. Great script Jay, genius stuff, my and my granddaughter both had imaginary friends, my wife, Tilly Fitzgibbons and granddaughter "Phyllis", beautifully written Jay, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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I always found when one is good at what they do, being a talent covers a multitude of sins, although God says, love does. But the world is funny, if you're good at sport or one is a good musician, both certainly, it gives one a refuge, but the perfect refuge is Christ Himself. Great script Jay, genius stuff, my and my granddaughter both had imaginary friends, my wife, Tilly Fitzgibbons and granddaughter "Phyllis", beautifully written Jay, blessings Roy
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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It's always a delight, Roy, when you drop by and leave me a review. God bless you and yours., Jay
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Good job
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
This is a very well-written script, showing the inner life of Cornelius, as he interacts with his imaginary friend Cillila -- although I imagine his part of the dialogue with her is actually spoken by him, and hers, though imaginary, would be spoken on stage by an actress.
Suggested revisions:
Stunningly attractive, His mother dresses him fashionably and impeccably.
-->
Stunningly attractive, his mother dresses him fashionably and impeccably.
Movements Jerky.
-->
Movements jerky.
[After about 15 seconds without hearing tale-tell signs of CORNELIUS'S discomfort,
-->
[After about 15 seconds without hearing tell-tale signs of CORNELIUS'S discomfort,
***
When the text says "Beat," does this indicate a pause, or is there an audible drumbeat?
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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This is a very well-written script, showing the inner life of Cornelius, as he interacts with his imaginary friend Cillila -- although I imagine his part of the dialogue with her is actually spoken by him, and hers, though imaginary, would be spoken on stage by an actress.
Suggested revisions:
Stunningly attractive, His mother dresses him fashionably and impeccably.
-->
Stunningly attractive, his mother dresses him fashionably and impeccably.
Movements Jerky.
-->
Movements jerky.
[After about 15 seconds without hearing tale-tell signs of CORNELIUS'S discomfort,
-->
[After about 15 seconds without hearing tell-tale signs of CORNELIUS'S discomfort,
***
When the text says "Beat," does this indicate a pause, or is there an audible drumbeat?
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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Thank you, Mary Kay, for your kind words and your catches. I'll take care of those, only not just now.
Beat represents a period of time longer than a period or the three or four dot ellipses.
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You're very welcome, Jay. Thanks for the explanation. May God bless you in your writing and in your life.
- Mary Kay
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This was superbly written. The patience you must has used writing it shown as Cililla helping Cornelius learn to focus on eyes. I know how hard that would be for him. Great job.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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This was superbly written. The patience you must has used writing it shown as Cililla helping Cornelius learn to focus on eyes. I know how hard that would be for him. Great job.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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Barbara, thank you so much. That means a lot to me. Now, DOGGONIT, would you do me a favor and reread the few sentences from when Clarina sticks her head in to the end? I am so mad at myself for dropping it off where I did.
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I did reread and I like it. It makes perfect sense.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
This is an intense chapter where Cililla his inner conscience is focusing on his demeanor. He has to practice appearing more normal than usual because of his lack of communication skills. So as he did with the piano lessons, he will practice, practice, practice.
Ralf
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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This is an intense chapter where Cililla his inner conscience is focusing on his demeanor. He has to practice appearing more normal than usual because of his lack of communication skills. So as he did with the piano lessons, he will practice, practice, practice.
Ralf
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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I'm so happy you caught the intent of this scene, Ralf. The process was abbreviated, I'm afraid. Which tends to the Hollywoodish.
Comment from kmoss
A great scene that shows that he can learn to be "normal," yet he's so much more than normal, this special boy born with more talent than any teacher could provide. I'm anxious for the next scene. What are Jennie's parents going to be like? Hmmm.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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A great scene that shows that he can learn to be "normal," yet he's so much more than normal, this special boy born with more talent than any teacher could provide. I'm anxious for the next scene. What are Jennie's parents going to be like? Hmmm.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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Yes, it should be interesting. I have no idea. I'll be the fly on the wall. Thanks, Krystal.
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Lol. Aren?t we all just flies on the wall? :)