How This Critter Crits
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Macro/Micro Critting -- Continued"GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!
104 total reviews
Comment from Bellydanser
Thorough (no sagging for me in this piece), insightful (saw myself in several places, but won't mention which ones) and well-written (only one SPAG, if I was paying enough attention). ;-)
"...send out to the publisher or agent pages 125 to 132 without any explanation." -- question mark to end this sentence
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2006
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Thorough (no sagging for me in this piece), insightful (saw myself in several places, but won't mention which ones) and well-written (only one SPAG, if I was paying enough attention). ;-)
"...send out to the publisher or agent pages 125 to 132 without any explanation." -- question mark to end this sentence
Comment Written 19-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2006
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Thank you so much for your heads up on the nit. I'll check it out after I finish reading through the crits I've received. You are always an honored guest. Come visit often.
Jay
Comment from AK
Hi Jay,
Have not seen you in a while and am glad to see you back and in full form.
Been laughing all the way and some of it so true!
Loved the last paragraph. It was hilarious .
you are right, anyone, regardless of experience has the ability to write a helpful crit.
Whether or not they actually do, is another matter entirely!!
regards,
ami
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2006
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Hi Jay,
Have not seen you in a while and am glad to see you back and in full form.
Been laughing all the way and some of it so true!
Loved the last paragraph. It was hilarious .
you are right, anyone, regardless of experience has the ability to write a helpful crit.
Whether or not they actually do, is another matter entirely!!
regards,
ami
Comment Written 19-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2006
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Hi, Ami, and thanks for the visit. I'm glad you took away something from the piece. Hang in there and come back for future installments. I look forward to hearing from you.
Jay
Comment from Cairn Destop
If you look at the notes following the comments, you'll see it's primarily one of style, the exceptionally long sentence. They are not bad, just something that can leave one bluefaced when reading. Otherwise, quite SPAG free.
Not surprised by the comment on the review you offered on a middle chapter. Even with summaries, which I do, there are readers that will either overlook the lead-in and will question some character's actions. Think that is just a function of the site. Were this anywhere but cyberspace, reviewers would do the entire book, like our Seal of Quality Committee, in totality. There comments on such things as characters, plot, setting, timing and, naturally, SPAG, would have more validity.
However (and even . . . isn't. = long sentence, consider rewording into two or more
And, jaysquires, you'd . . . up = long sentence
Why would anyone . . . explanation = long sentence
But it wouldn't . . . speed = long sentence
While the writer . . . caring = long sentence
Am I naïve in thinking that because we all know how wrenchingly difficult this job of writing well can be, we should have more than a small amount of empathy for our fellow writers. = question mark
And, then there's . . . tongue = long sentence
No writer, or . . . novel = long sentence
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2006
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If you look at the notes following the comments, you'll see it's primarily one of style, the exceptionally long sentence. They are not bad, just something that can leave one bluefaced when reading. Otherwise, quite SPAG free.
Not surprised by the comment on the review you offered on a middle chapter. Even with summaries, which I do, there are readers that will either overlook the lead-in and will question some character's actions. Think that is just a function of the site. Were this anywhere but cyberspace, reviewers would do the entire book, like our Seal of Quality Committee, in totality. There comments on such things as characters, plot, setting, timing and, naturally, SPAG, would have more validity.
However (and even . . . isn't. = long sentence, consider rewording into two or more
And, jaysquires, you'd . . . up = long sentence
Why would anyone . . . explanation = long sentence
But it wouldn't . . . speed = long sentence
While the writer . . . caring = long sentence
Am I naïve in thinking that because we all know how wrenchingly difficult this job of writing well can be, we should have more than a small amount of empathy for our fellow writers. = question mark
And, then there's . . . tongue = long sentence
No writer, or . . . novel = long sentence
Comment Written 19-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2006
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Cairn, thank you for your always-right-on-the-button crit. I really appreciate pros like you who help me stay on track. Blessings
Jay-
Comment from Sue-z-Q
Hi Jay:
I saved that tidbit about Concentric Circles so I can check out what you mean. I took a peek. Wow! With 73 chapters and me being a slow reader, it will take a while. He also has some other interesting titles. Thanks for steering me in his direction.
Notes:
[Some of the best (advise) I ever got ...] I think you mean advice. Advice is an opinion, news, counsel or information communicated about what could or should be done about a situation or problem.
Advise means to offer advice to or to counsel. To recommend or suggest. To inform or notify.
Two very tricky little words.
[It was some of the best (advise) I ever got; ] Advice here, too. To advise is to give advice.
[denouement???] Couldn't you just say 'ending' instead of sending me to the dictionary?
I don't think one little misspelled word is a good enough reason to dock you any stars.
I may or may not post any of my novels at Fan Story, depending on what I learn from checking out Simon Morris. Keep crittin, critter.
Nice work, Sue-z-Q
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2006
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Hi Jay:
I saved that tidbit about Concentric Circles so I can check out what you mean. I took a peek. Wow! With 73 chapters and me being a slow reader, it will take a while. He also has some other interesting titles. Thanks for steering me in his direction.
Notes:
[Some of the best (advise) I ever got ...] I think you mean advice. Advice is an opinion, news, counsel or information communicated about what could or should be done about a situation or problem.
Advise means to offer advice to or to counsel. To recommend or suggest. To inform or notify.
Two very tricky little words.
[It was some of the best (advise) I ever got; ] Advice here, too. To advise is to give advice.
[denouement???] Couldn't you just say 'ending' instead of sending me to the dictionary?
I don't think one little misspelled word is a good enough reason to dock you any stars.
I may or may not post any of my novels at Fan Story, depending on what I learn from checking out Simon Morris. Keep crittin, critter.
Nice work, Sue-z-Q
Comment Written 19-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2006
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Sue-z-Q, you are always such a welcomed additon to my crits. Your always right on! Thank you for the heads up on advise/advice. I knew better. Don't now, but I did then LOL. One more time, Thanks,
Jay
Comment from lerkun
Hello again jaysquires, Another interesting addition to your view on this little world.
you make some valid points throughout..I fear writing poetry has left me outside your circle... during review of chapters if I feel so inclined to jump in somewhere mid book I try to keep the comments on storyline general and go for spag and how easy the characters are defined....for eg...is it clear who is speaking to who and are the actions also clear...This has kept me relatively safe and I have not once copped a response similar to yours penned above.
a couple of points below for your perusal, use ot lose at your discretion
be well
lerk
It was some of the best advise I ever got < advice there are 2 the other one is just prior advice...counsel received ,advise... to counsel
was make me to look back into the belly of my novel < remove to
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2006
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Hello again jaysquires, Another interesting addition to your view on this little world.
you make some valid points throughout..I fear writing poetry has left me outside your circle... during review of chapters if I feel so inclined to jump in somewhere mid book I try to keep the comments on storyline general and go for spag and how easy the characters are defined....for eg...is it clear who is speaking to who and are the actions also clear...This has kept me relatively safe and I have not once copped a response similar to yours penned above.
a couple of points below for your perusal, use ot lose at your discretion
be well
lerk
It was some of the best advise I ever got < advice there are 2 the other one is just prior advice...counsel received ,advise... to counsel
was make me to look back into the belly of my novel < remove to
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2006
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Thank you, lerkun, for the heads up. I always appreciate eagle eyes like you to keep me toeing the mark. You're welcome at my house any day. Thanks for the visit. More to come... Stay tuned.
Jay
Comment from nora arjuna
Hi Jay. I'd like to say I agree with you on the summary before every chapter completely. I believe I did that, if not for the whole story, at least what happened in the previous chapter. I used to point this out to other writers a couple of times.
You have a unique way of putting up yours up there - 'What you have missed'. Why restrict ourselves with the little space provided when we can include the summary in the main page itself.
It's good of you to bring this up as I'll soon start on a novel.
P/S - Yes, you still wander... LOL.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2006
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Hi Jay. I'd like to say I agree with you on the summary before every chapter completely. I believe I did that, if not for the whole story, at least what happened in the previous chapter. I used to point this out to other writers a couple of times.
You have a unique way of putting up yours up there - 'What you have missed'. Why restrict ourselves with the little space provided when we can include the summary in the main page itself.
It's good of you to bring this up as I'll soon start on a novel.
P/S - Yes, you still wander... LOL.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2006
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Oh, yes! How I do wander. I hate to think how boring it would be though if I didn't. You have been loyal from the start, arjuna, and I owe so much to you for that. Thanks you, my dear.
Jay
Comment from PearlW
Ah now we're getting somewhere. I admit to being guilty of not outlining my previous chapters in my current novel. But it's a novel of 'short' stories, so I absolutely do not know and do not see the point of going through every chapter first.
Besides, if you are going to critique a novel, then you have to at least have a grasp on the characters and read the entire thing from beginning to end. To me, there's no point in writing a review if you have no idea what the story's about. But then, that's just me :)
I will wait for the next chapter of this critter. I like the way you write :)
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2006
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Ah now we're getting somewhere. I admit to being guilty of not outlining my previous chapters in my current novel. But it's a novel of 'short' stories, so I absolutely do not know and do not see the point of going through every chapter first.
Besides, if you are going to critique a novel, then you have to at least have a grasp on the characters and read the entire thing from beginning to end. To me, there's no point in writing a review if you have no idea what the story's about. But then, that's just me :)
I will wait for the next chapter of this critter. I like the way you write :)
Comment Written 18-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2006
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It's not a perfect solution, Pearl. There is no perfect solution. And, I'm glad you pointed that out. And a novel of short stories, without a theme central to all of them, should need no summary. And, hopefully a summary of a novel in progress will lure some readers to the entire novel from the beginning. It gives you a better readerships, and perhaps that's all we can hope for. Thank you for your kind review and I hope you stay aboard.
Jay
Comment from Lady & Louis
Hmm, I don't know if what I'm doing here is a review (sorry - crit!) or just a "thank you" for giving me food for thought. My response to the thought of writing chapter/book synopses has always translated more or less as "bleah". That's partly because I don't know that I can write that concisely (we don't have much space for them here) and partly because... well, some of the ones I've read here make me squirm. Bad spelling and the effort to keep them short makes them sound awful. BUT now that you've pointed out how damn important the things are, I'm obviously going to have to mend my ways!
Naughty man. You're making me do more work!
Had to smile at the mention of that crit where you got lambasted by the author. I had a crit - early on in the first book - that was like that. I felt justified in firing back, though, because referring to Geoffroi as the King's MISTRESS and a starry-eyed GIRL did seem a trifle inattentive, to say the least, even from reading one page from a book!
I know I saw a typo in there somewhere, but now I've forgotten where it was. Bugger. The man won't even make it easy to nitpick.
ciao!
La Ma
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2006
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Hmm, I don't know if what I'm doing here is a review (sorry - crit!) or just a "thank you" for giving me food for thought. My response to the thought of writing chapter/book synopses has always translated more or less as "bleah". That's partly because I don't know that I can write that concisely (we don't have much space for them here) and partly because... well, some of the ones I've read here make me squirm. Bad spelling and the effort to keep them short makes them sound awful. BUT now that you've pointed out how damn important the things are, I'm obviously going to have to mend my ways!
Naughty man. You're making me do more work!
Had to smile at the mention of that crit where you got lambasted by the author. I had a crit - early on in the first book - that was like that. I felt justified in firing back, though, because referring to Geoffroi as the King's MISTRESS and a starry-eyed GIRL did seem a trifle inattentive, to say the least, even from reading one page from a book!
I know I saw a typo in there somewhere, but now I've forgotten where it was. Bugger. The man won't even make it easy to nitpick.
ciao!
La Ma
Comment Written 18-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2006
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Thank you for you usual humor and kindness. I'm glad it had some applicability for you. It validates me.
Jay
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LOL - we're a sad lot, aren't we, needing each other's validation! Know what you mean. I've just been trying a book summary for the chapter Lyon - could you PM me some time to let me know if it seems to be on the right track? Brevity just ain't my thing!
La Ma
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What is it I'm supposed to be checking out to see if you are on the right track? Is it in your portfolio? I'd love to help.
Jay
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Just the book synopsis at the start of the chapter "Lyon". It's the latest chapter and is on page 3 of the available listings, or in my portfolio. I'm just wondering if it works as a synopsis/grab.
Comment from Granny Sandy
I'm real new at this critting thing and your chapter was enormously helpful. Your review of previous chapters brought me up to speed even though I had not read them. (I'm going back to read them now though)
I did see one little nit - when describing strategy #4 did you mean
OF the chapter just before rather than IN the chapter just before.
Thanks for sharing this valuable information in such a pleasant manner,...this lesson didn't hurt at all.
GS
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2006
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I'm real new at this critting thing and your chapter was enormously helpful. Your review of previous chapters brought me up to speed even though I had not read them. (I'm going back to read them now though)
I did see one little nit - when describing strategy #4 did you mean
OF the chapter just before rather than IN the chapter just before.
Thanks for sharing this valuable information in such a pleasant manner,...this lesson didn't hurt at all.
GS
Comment Written 18-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2006
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Glad to see you back, Granny Sandy. I'll have to go back and check that out. Thank you for pointing it out. Stay aboard, Sandy for the fun to follow.
Jay
Comment from In Memoriam
You made the case for my favorite find in multiple chapter works. I find the summaries extremely helpful even after skimming the chapter right before whatever in process novel I joined. Since you also included a chimpanzee in the explanation, I'm awarding you an extra ounce of kudos.
"At that point, only two people had read the story. One thought it had all the makings of a best-seller -- if not the Great American Novel. The other, who was not me, thought it suffered through excess saggage." --- I loved that. I'm extremely long winded, often erasing up to three quarters of whatever I wrote so this struck an extra special chord with me.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2006
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You made the case for my favorite find in multiple chapter works. I find the summaries extremely helpful even after skimming the chapter right before whatever in process novel I joined. Since you also included a chimpanzee in the explanation, I'm awarding you an extra ounce of kudos.
"At that point, only two people had read the story. One thought it had all the makings of a best-seller -- if not the Great American Novel. The other, who was not me, thought it suffered through excess saggage." --- I loved that. I'm extremely long winded, often erasing up to three quarters of whatever I wrote so this struck an extra special chord with me.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2006
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Julia, you are speaking to the president of the Long-Winders club. We have a slot open for vice-pres. Thank you so much for your kind words. I hope you have a chance to read the coming segments. I'm hoping they satisfy. Bless you...
Jay
