Looking for Orion - 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Back Home"Brothers fight for faith ... and for their lives.
10 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Bednar
""I'm as stubborn as my mother," ha ha
Critical over kind... I have nothing bad to say other than ... publish the next chapter!!! Again, heartwarming, kind, such a lovely family. I want to be adopted :) The six is for this and all the previous chapters I just read.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2020
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""I'm as stubborn as my mother," ha ha
Critical over kind... I have nothing bad to say other than ... publish the next chapter!!! Again, heartwarming, kind, such a lovely family. I want to be adopted :) The six is for this and all the previous chapters I just read.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2020
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Thank you, Margaret. I've been in Alabama and Florida, on a very spontaneous trip. My boy said, "Hey, Mom, you wanna go to 'Bama tomorrow and see Dad (who is there for PT) and Currie (my oldest boy)?" And -- boom! We were on our way to Alabama from Central Texas within 12 hours. It was insane! Since Currie is a minimalist and we stayed in his 'country cabin' (instead of his apartment in town), we had no internet, no computer, barely a bed to sleep on! lol. But it was ovely. I'll look at getting the next chapter up tonight. :)
Thank you for the exceptional rating. I hope you know what that means to me.
Blessings,
Deb
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I LOVE spontanaety! How is that word spelled ... I tried three times. Oh well.
Comment from robyn corum
Deb,
Great job with this chapter. I like this whole family- they're a great bunch. You can feel the comraderie and love seeping off every page and that helps make the connection between the reader even more powerful. We REALLY don't want anything bad to happen to these guys! Kudos!
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Deb,
Great job with this chapter. I like this whole family- they're a great bunch. You can feel the comraderie and love seeping off every page and that helps make the connection between the reader even more powerful. We REALLY don't want anything bad to happen to these guys! Kudos!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Thank you, Robyn! Working on the next segment now ... and they're just not cooperating! Jack certainly can be difficult... lol
Hope all is well there in Alabama. :) My hubby is there visiting our son for a while and doing some rehab for his illnesses. H's certainly enjoying your beautiful state. :)
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from roof35
This is very nicely done and it is great to have the family acting somewhat normally. Guess you have me into the story because I am worried about the kids playing in the back yard. Well written..
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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This is very nicely done and it is great to have the family acting somewhat normally. Guess you have me into the story because I am worried about the kids playing in the back yard. Well written..
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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Lol. Glad to hear that, Root! :)
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from royowen
Love family time, with the gibing and digs that family affection is replaced with, just in case one starts to get a big head, which of course is not allowed at this time. Cody is getting "better" and I realised I would be doing exactly as he's doin, pride is not good, but it helps. Beautifully written Deb, you've sucked me in. Well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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Love family time, with the gibing and digs that family affection is replaced with, just in case one starts to get a big head, which of course is not allowed at this time. Cody is getting "better" and I realised I would be doing exactly as he's doin, pride is not good, but it helps. Beautifully written Deb, you've sucked me in. Well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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I'm glad to hear that you are 'in', Roy. :) And, while pride isn';t a good thing, sometimes it's useful. Gets us up and going sometimes when all we really want to do is ... nothing. :)
Blessings,
Deb
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Well done
Comment from AJ McCall
Haha! This is hilarious! I love the setting of the chapter and the description is spot on. I love how you wrote this chapter without explaining the full process of him leaving, getting in the car, and driving home. I did notice that some of the paragraphs are double spaced and others are tightly together. Also, a period was hanging out way too far after one of Cody's movements, and there was a little space in between two words in one of the characters' lines. But I'm loving this story - and Cody isn't grumpy, he just wants to be able to do things for himself again, although that's going to be a challenge. My favorite character is Jack. I love him. Can't wait for the next chapter! (Maybe Abby will drop by to see how Cody's doing and maybe stay for lunch or something...)
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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Haha! This is hilarious! I love the setting of the chapter and the description is spot on. I love how you wrote this chapter without explaining the full process of him leaving, getting in the car, and driving home. I did notice that some of the paragraphs are double spaced and others are tightly together. Also, a period was hanging out way too far after one of Cody's movements, and there was a little space in between two words in one of the characters' lines. But I'm loving this story - and Cody isn't grumpy, he just wants to be able to do things for himself again, although that's going to be a challenge. My favorite character is Jack. I love him. Can't wait for the next chapter! (Maybe Abby will drop by to see how Cody's doing and maybe stay for lunch or something...)
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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I had a friend who read the first draft and asked me to materialize Jack so she could have him. lol. He's pretty cool. He's a little of all of the men in my life, including the mad at God part, which got resolved, thankfully. (It was that special crimes detective brother of mine, long before he was a detective.) Anyhow, glad you're enjoying. :)
Blessings,
Deb
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:)
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That is just how a person recovering acts. We all want to be back to normal as soon as possible, but Cody now realises he still has some healing to do. Mum is a tough cookie!! lol This was another excellent chapter, Debs. I found a new nits below, but they didn't detract from the story, just a bit of formatting to check over. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
"Mom, come on!" More frustration showed in Cody's/voice than he =space needed where / is.
Some of the line spacing are different in some paragraphs, you have double line spacing in first paragraph, then it goes on to single. This has happened a few times....
"It's FBI approved," Cody answered. "The privacy fence helps, and I told Herman and Mollie to guard the kids. Nobody could get close without the dogs raising Cain, and anybody coming in through the fence, well..." He shook his head and arched his eyebrows to leave it to Laine's imagination to envision their fate. "The cedars are a lucky break."
[need line space here]
"The Lehmanns will sneeze themselves to death?" Laine's voice almost sounded light....
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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That is just how a person recovering acts. We all want to be back to normal as soon as possible, but Cody now realises he still has some healing to do. Mum is a tough cookie!! lol This was another excellent chapter, Debs. I found a new nits below, but they didn't detract from the story, just a bit of formatting to check over. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
"Mom, come on!" More frustration showed in Cody's/voice than he =space needed where / is.
Some of the line spacing are different in some paragraphs, you have double line spacing in first paragraph, then it goes on to single. This has happened a few times....
"It's FBI approved," Cody answered. "The privacy fence helps, and I told Herman and Mollie to guard the kids. Nobody could get close without the dogs raising Cain, and anybody coming in through the fence, well..." He shook his head and arched his eyebrows to leave it to Laine's imagination to envision their fate. "The cedars are a lucky break."
[need line space here]
"The Lehmanns will sneeze themselves to death?" Laine's voice almost sounded light....
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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Hi Sandra! Thank you for finding those. I'm aware of the spacing issue in the first paragraph, but it's right in the editor, it's right in my copy/paste document and it's like that in the posted copy. I have no idea what's up. It's happened a few times and I've re-posted to no avail. I'm SO not technical! lol
Appreciate you, as always! Have a grand weekend, my friend,
Belssings,
Deb
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Your format needs attention because you have single spacing and double spacing as well. The single spacing is easier to read and follow;-) That's what I would suggest you stay with is single spacing!
The storyline is creative and the characters all interact well together;-) Well written piece indeed!
I appreciate and thank you for sharing;-)
May God bless you and your family;-)
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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Your format needs attention because you have single spacing and double spacing as well. The single spacing is easier to read and follow;-) That's what I would suggest you stay with is single spacing!
The storyline is creative and the characters all interact well together;-) Well written piece indeed!
I appreciate and thank you for sharing;-)
May God bless you and your family;-)
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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Hi Melodie. First, thank you for that blessing, and you and yours be blessed, as well.
I am not sure what to do about the formatting. It looks right in the editor, but appears this way when posted. I'll contact Tom and see what he suggestss. Thank you. :)
Blessings,
Deb
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;-)
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This story is coming really well. The characters act and sound so natural in their familiar home setting. This was a relaxing post.
Check your formatting. You have single and double spacing, and the first and second paragraph no spacing.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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This story is coming really well. The characters act and sound so natural in their familiar home setting. This was a relaxing post.
Check your formatting. You have single and double spacing, and the first and second paragraph no spacing.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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Hey, Rebecca! The formatting is a real issue because the document I copied/pasted from is correct, and it looks correct in the advanced editor. But when I post, I get this gobbldy-gook on formatting. Any suggestions?
Blessings and thank you again.
Deb
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I get the same thing from other writers, so I was thinking it is my computer. I don't know how to fix it...
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I love this chapter, just a little bit of normalcy and the kids are hilarious. But what about the nice doctor? Will she come around? Thank you for sharing and good luck with your next chapter.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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I love this chapter, just a little bit of normalcy and the kids are hilarious. But what about the nice doctor? Will she come around? Thank you for sharing and good luck with your next chapter.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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Oh, she might. :) Thanks for reading, Iza. I'm glad you keep coming back for more.
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from lyenochka
Oh boy, little Katie better wash up real good before eating those tamales! I really liked how you covered the interchange between Cody and his mom. I'd be pretty mad if a kid from the hospital would try something like that too soon. But we can understand where Cody is coming from - being able to do something for himself.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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Oh boy, little Katie better wash up real good before eating those tamales! I really liked how you covered the interchange between Cody and his mom. I'd be pretty mad if a kid from the hospital would try something like that too soon. But we can understand where Cody is coming from - being able to do something for himself.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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That kid is MY kid. My oldest is a pro-athlete and is quite sure he's invincible. Took him down a peg or two when his coach wouldn't even let him suit up for twelve weeks after a surgery. (Yay, Coach!) Would he do that for Mom? Of course not! lol
Blessings and many thanks,
Deb
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Lol. No wonder it felt so real !! 💖