Reviews from

Looking for Orion - 2

Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Alive and Well - part 1"
Brothers fight for faith ... and for their lives.

8 total reviews 
Comment from Margaret Bednar
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Amazing! Everything is always so smoothly written. I don't have a hard critical review. Just wondering what is next... I am thoroughly enjoying this. Sorry ...

"shoved his mackwards. "Stay." him backwards...?

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
    Margaret, than you for the exceptional rating, and for cuing me in on 'mackwards'. Would you believe that it's a Texas term? No? Smart woman! lol. That's when my brain gets too far ahead of my fingers and I get 'creative' with word creation. :)
    I"m so glad you're still reading. Thought I'd lost you there for a vit. Hope all is well in your end of the world.
    Blessings, sweet friend,
    Deb
Comment from roof35
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is up to your usual high standards and is keeping this reader waiting for more. A couple of typos for you to fix: 1) You typed zone as zome once. 2) backwards was typed as mackwards.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
    Thank you, Root! Fixed both weird typos. lol
    Blessings for the weekend!
    Deb
Comment from AJ McCall
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This chapter is perfect! The setting is great, the dialogue and the description of the room are perfect. The sleeping beauty part is very funny. How tall is Jack?? And I would say in the chapter before this don't write black, maybe describe the boy as - dark-skinned or ebony? Just a suggestion. I wish I had six stars! Can't wait for next one!

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
    Thank you, AJ. 'Poitical correctness' changes, and sometimes I forget the new correct. When I was a kid, calling an African-American 'balck' was the right way to go. Actually, all the way through my college years. So it's withouth any thought at all that I use that term. It's interesting that we're still 'white'. lol. Although, I guess being 'Scottish-American' and 'German-American' and 'Heinz 57-American' could be a bit confusing... :) (Do they still make Heinz-57? It's a steak sauce with a bit of everything in it, lke so many of us in America, I believe.)
    Thank you for a younger, more up-to-date perspective. :)
    Be blessed, my friend,
    Deb
reply by AJ McCall on 16-Jul-2020
    You're welcome!
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I saw nothing needing correcting. You are a great storyteller. I got caught up in Cody's nightmare, and am so glad he woke up and is now thinking more clearly. Poor old Jack. I am with these characters like this is a true story.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
    OMGosh, Rebecca! thank you for the exceptional rating. It means so much to me, considering your own writing ability.
    I'm glad you mentioned the dream sequence. I struggled with that one section and probably rewrote it more than any other part of the book. And, strangely enough, that is where this whole book came from -- that dream sequence. Funny how something so big can come from a dream. :)
    Thank you again, as always.
    Blessings,
    Deb
reply by thaities, Rebecca V. on 16-Jul-2020
    Nightmares are great story sections. I was glued to yours!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yet Cody is out of danger and jack is there to protect him from any danger. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter and with your writings.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
    Thank you, Iza, for reading and commenting. I appreciate both. :)
    Be blessed,
    Deb
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

l can imagine that would be exactly how a person would be after being in an induced coma for so long, and also, the brain has a way of protecting the mind from shock after such a traumatic time. But, now he is back with us, and he has a lot more to face, but at least he is as safe as he's ever going to be. And his family. I'm looking foreward to what happens next. Well done, Debs, antother brilliantly written chapter. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
    Thank you, sweet friend! You are such an encouragement. :
    On a different note, I asked the pastor how you'd be able to see our videos if you'd like to. He said to try this (instead of the link from my FB page):
    https://www.facebook.com/SouthsideChurchBrownwood/
    I did TOTALLY mess up, right at the end. Patty and Gary (camera guy) didn't want to film again, so it's there, for the whole wide world to see. I affectionately call my grands 'goof-butt'. And, of COURSE, I called the puppet that right at the end. lol. I was SO embarrassed. lol
    Anyhow, let me know if that works. :)
    Have a great one, Sandra!
    Blessings,
    Deb
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 16-Jul-2020
    I've managed to get it up, and I've watched it. I couldn't hear you say Goof-butt, so don't worry! Not knowing which lady you were, I listened closely to both of you. I thought I'd be able to work out which one you were by whoever said it. But, I didn't hear it!! LOL. So, which lady were you? I love the puppet, he's a scream!
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It's so good to see Cody conscious and presumably out of the woods. And his old partner, Rudy, is also there. I love your writing Debora, the work flows the characters are strong, even the antagonists are beautifully evil, well done my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : Shoved (his mackwards) him backwards?

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
    I'd so love to tell you that 'mackwards' is a Texas term ? I'd love to, but it'd be a lie! lol. I'll go fix that. No one else has seen it, including me, obiously!
    I appreciate your encouragement, Roy. It means a lot to me.
    Be blessed this fine day,
    Deb
reply by royowen on 16-Jul-2020
    I thought it have been, but I thought I might have to learn Texan, heh heh
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great job with the transition to consciousness and the interaction between Cody and Rudy and Jack. So glad the Cody seems okay and in full mental abilities!

"A televis ion set hung " (space between s and i)
"favorite of their fathers. " (father's)
"blind wihtout his glasses" (without)

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
    Thank you, Helen. I fixed the errors. Thank you for finding those. You are always appreciated. :)
    Be blessed,
    Deb