Looking for Orion - 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Investigation - part 2"Brothers fight for faith ... and for their lives.
14 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Deb,
Great job on this chapter. Still loving this camaraderie between Jack and Cody - I think I'd like to hang with them a while. *smile* Kudos on that.
Only a couple of notes:
1.) "We came nearly close to losing you yesterday, Code.
--> I'd leave off the 'nearly'
--> too?
2.) but I was trained to make clear-headed observations, regardless of the situation(.)"
Enjoyed!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Deb,
Great job on this chapter. Still loving this camaraderie between Jack and Cody - I think I'd like to hang with them a while. *smile* Kudos on that.
Only a couple of notes:
1.) "We came nearly close to losing you yesterday, Code.
--> I'd leave off the 'nearly'
--> too?
2.) but I was trained to make clear-headed observations, regardless of the situation(.)"
Enjoyed!
Comment Written 04-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Well, at least it's only two this time. lol. I was 'this close'... lol
Thank you, Robyn. I appreciate you, as always. :)
Blessings,
Deb
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Haha
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Missed it by thhaaat much...
Comment from Ulla
Hi Debora, this is a fine chapter and continuation to the story. The feelings really come through in the conversations. It can't be easy for Cody to have to relive what happened. All best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Hi Debora, this is a fine chapter and continuation to the story. The feelings really come through in the conversations. It can't be easy for Cody to have to relive what happened. All best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 04-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Thank you, Ulla. I appreciate you, as always. :)
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from Margaret Bednar
Good grief. You can't leave me hanging with this! The only good thing is I am way behind on commenting so chances are there is a next chapter just around the corner for me. This is riveting and I keep thinking this is an amazing book already. Wish I had a 6!
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2020
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Good grief. You can't leave me hanging with this! The only good thing is I am way behind on commenting so chances are there is a next chapter just around the corner for me. This is riveting and I keep thinking this is an amazing book already. Wish I had a 6!
Comment Written 03-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2020
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Oh, Margaret, thank you! Your encouragement is gettingme through some chapters where I'm feeling a bit burned out, because I know I hhave to live up to your expectation. You know how the gurus say you have to 'picture your reader'? You are mine.
Blessings,
Deb
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I have faith in you :)
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Great chapter Deb, with good build up to the drama and the tension in the last half.
Just one edit -"We came nearly lost you yesterday, Code. It was pretty bad." Enjoying this story,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Great chapter Deb, with good build up to the drama and the tension in the last half.
Just one edit -"We came nearly lost you yesterday, Code. It was pretty bad." Enjoying this story,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Hi Valda! I don't know what was going on ith that error. I think my fingers got behind my brain. lol. Thank you for catching it!
Be blessed!
Deb
Comment from lyenochka
Oh, you got me scared about letting anyone talk to Cody in his current state of recovery especially since Aulers looks like the hit men. No we have to worry about Cody's and Jack's boys! You ratcheted up the tension here!
Question:
"We came nearly lost you yesterday, Code." (We came close to losing you?) Is this Texan English?
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Oh, you got me scared about letting anyone talk to Cody in his current state of recovery especially since Aulers looks like the hit men. No we have to worry about Cody's and Jack's boys! You ratcheted up the tension here!
Question:
"We came nearly lost you yesterday, Code." (We came close to losing you?) Is this Texan English?
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Yep. But, in my defense, Texan is my first language! I"m an ESL person ? sort of ? lol. I'll change that. You're the second person to ask about it. :)
Thank you, Helen. :)
Blessings and hugs,
Deb
Comment from Precious Owuamalam
Only when I felt the story was about to end another chapter set in with its own wonderful story. Super work Deb, super work. Bring it on!
There are a couple of observations I made whilst reading this:
First, here, there seems to be a redundant usage of apostrophe's:
"'Thanks' doesn't' seem to be enough,"
I think "nearly losing you" would be a better replacement for "nearly lost you" in: "We came nearly lost you yesterday, Code. It was pretty bad." You may want to double-check!
"Mess up any" is it a common English? or is it native to Texas? It's my first time of hearing it.
This statement isn't very clear: This man, on his knees in a clearing, tears staining his dirty face; hope lighting his eyes at the sight of Cody. "Oh, God." He exhaled, still staring at the photo. "Jack, this is him."
Here: "Blond" His voice had grown so quiet that Aulers inadvertently leaned forward to hear better. I think a fullstop should follow "Blond"
Here: "They took him out into the woods and shot him once in the back of the head" "on the back of his head might seem a better replacement."
Nonetheless, my very best wishes and many congratulations for the Reviewers competition honourable mention.
Cheers!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Only when I felt the story was about to end another chapter set in with its own wonderful story. Super work Deb, super work. Bring it on!
There are a couple of observations I made whilst reading this:
First, here, there seems to be a redundant usage of apostrophe's:
"'Thanks' doesn't' seem to be enough,"
I think "nearly losing you" would be a better replacement for "nearly lost you" in: "We came nearly lost you yesterday, Code. It was pretty bad." You may want to double-check!
"Mess up any" is it a common English? or is it native to Texas? It's my first time of hearing it.
This statement isn't very clear: This man, on his knees in a clearing, tears staining his dirty face; hope lighting his eyes at the sight of Cody. "Oh, God." He exhaled, still staring at the photo. "Jack, this is him."
Here: "Blond" His voice had grown so quiet that Aulers inadvertently leaned forward to hear better. I think a fullstop should follow "Blond"
Here: "They took him out into the woods and shot him once in the back of the head" "on the back of his head might seem a better replacement."
Nonetheless, my very best wishes and many congratulations for the Reviewers competition honourable mention.
Cheers!
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Augh! Have I ever EVER put up a post without SPAG? lol. Nope ? Not ever. :) Gives Y'all something to look for. lol.
Thank you so much! I'll attend to those errors after church tonight. :)
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
What a riveting story! Each post is stronger than the last. Bits and pieces are revealed and keep the reader glued. The conversations are so real.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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What a riveting story! Each post is stronger than the last. Bits and pieces are revealed and keep the reader glued. The conversations are so real.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Thank you, Rebecca. :) I was pretty worried about the FBI guy, so I'm glad his dialogue didn't sound fake or trite. Whew!
Blessings,
Deb
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Your dialogue is perfect!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That doesn't bode well for Cody's and Frank's children. They must catch those men, they are evil. The terrible thing is, there are people like that in real life. What a nightmare! Well done, again, my friend. I enjoyed all these catch ups! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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That doesn't bode well for Cody's and Frank's children. They must catch those men, they are evil. The terrible thing is, there are people like that in real life. What a nightmare! Well done, again, my friend. I enjoyed all these catch ups! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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I'm glad you enjoyed pllaying 'catch up'. Almost made it feel like a real book, didn't it. lol. Thank you for your encouragement.
Blessings,
Deb
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Yes, I loved them. Now, get writing more, please! :))
Comment from Bill Pinder
This is really an interesting and well written chapter. All the conversations and interactions are very believable. I like how you switch between the light humor between the brothers back to the seriousness of the contract killers that you're dealing with. Look forward to the next chapter. Bill
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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This is really an interesting and well written chapter. All the conversations and interactions are very believable. I like how you switch between the light humor between the brothers back to the seriousness of the contract killers that you're dealing with. Look forward to the next chapter. Bill
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Bill, I so appreciate this rating and the review. I was worried about this chapter -- an FBI guy ? What was I thinking!? lol. I appreciate that you found it realistic.
We do humor and serious around our house to alleviate the stress, so it's a natural write for me. I'm glad it's going over well.
Be blessed,
Deb
Comment from Puzzle
ok so this book is overall about faith. Still believing in God despite everything that is going on. He lost his wife and now he is hurt by guys he can't really identify. I don't know if i misread, but was cody saying the bad guys looked like the police?
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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ok so this book is overall about faith. Still believing in God despite everything that is going on. He lost his wife and now he is hurt by guys he can't really identify. I don't know if i misread, but was cody saying the bad guys looked like the police?
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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HEY! I was fixing to call and make sure you were okay. Glad you're back. :)
Yeah, big and blond, although I'm not sure I"m going to keep that. It's a red herring, so I'll think it through. :)
Be blessed, and post something!
Debby