Reviews from

One man's journey to get clean

Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Gary's new life"
Getting clean from meth isn't easy

36 total reviews 
Comment from Judith Ann
Excellent
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This is the first I have read of your work, but plan to go back and read the rest. It is a very compelling story, with an ending that provides hope to others who struggle with these challenges. Having been in a 12-step program myself, to learn how to deal with my husband's addiction, I found your words to be so true and comforting. Thanks for sharing and good luck getting published. --Judith Ann

 Comment Written 22-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2017
    Hi Judith; thank you so much for your warm comments. I hope you will enjoy the rest of Gary's story. I'm sorry because the chapters do not offer much in member dollars or points, but I would appreciate your feedback about how I handled the 12-step meetings and format of the programs.
    ~patty~
reply by Judith Ann on 22-Apr-2017
    Earning member dollars or points are merely a bonus. When I read others work, I learn so much. It has been two years since I was last on FanStory, so I don't have anything new yet...stand by..--Judith Ann
Comment from GoodHearted Woman
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Patty! No matter where I look on this site, you are there, just having won something! This one is no different. It will be a winner too. I enjoyed your info at the end telling your plans.
I am a tad out of touch with the beginnings of this tale, have to listen to my body. I haven't been well but then I rally and try to catch up. Your main story though is so interesting I just savored the story and sort of forgot to watch for typos & other pesky stuff, but with that said, I didn't see any. Best of luck with this.
GoodHearted Woman

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
    I am so sorry to hear that you haven't been well. I will put you in my prayers. I'm so glad you were able to stop by to read and review. I am thankful to my FanStory family for reading the barebones outline of my novel. Now, that I have a solid framework, I will continue to build on and flesh out the novel. Thank you for your thoughtful review,
    ~patty~
Comment from JW
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Well. There is nothing like reading the end of a story when you have read any of the previous. :-)

Regardless, you did a good job in writing this. Multiple years ago in another life, sort-to-speak, I attended an AA meeting. Your description of what transpires was dead on.

Thanks for sharing this. JW

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
    thank you for your thoughtful review of Gary's last chapter. Now that I have the basic outline of the book, I can flesh it out and complete my novel. Thanks to my friends on FanStory, I know what will work and what won't.
    ~patty~
Comment from Neonewman
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Hey now, not cool making an old mans eyes get a little misty. I am a bit sentimental, so I guess it's really not your fault lol. This is the first chapter I've read and of course it's the ending. When time provides, I will have to start at the beginning.
God bless!
Steve

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
    Hi Steve; I'm sorry I made you misty, but I'm glad the piece stirred some emotion. Finishing the novella gave me the backbone of the full blown novel I am working on. It did feel good to finish and have a framework to work from. I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters,
    ~patty~
reply by Neonewman on 21-Apr-2017
    No problem Patty! It clears the tear ducts lol.
Comment from Sanku
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I liked this ending part very much.it is a story of struggle and then finding light at the end of the tunnel and following it. I will go back and read the previous ones. Thank you for posting this. it sure be a very good thing to expand and make it into a novel

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
    thank you so much for stopping by to read and review my novella. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement,
    ~patty~
Comment from emptypage
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Hey, Patty!

You made me cry! Dammit!

This is a wonderfully written story of triumph. I love that it ended this way--what an inspiration to anyone who will read it! Yay for Gary and David!

You wrote, "Gary paced outside in the hall. His stomach, tied up in knots; and his palms sweaty."---I suggest putting a comma between "hall" and "his stomach." Otherwise, the second phrase is a fragment.

You wrote, "I grew up with a mother that struggled with her own issues, but I always felt sorry for her." ---I suggest changing "mother that" to "mother who." Generally speaking, "that" is used in referring to things: Here's the car with the mufflers that smokes." "Who" is the reflective pronoun for people.

Still crying.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
    Hi Marla; thank you for helping with the edit - I always have problems with 'that' and 'who.' I will go and make the changes now. Thanks for reading,
    ~patty~
Comment from XGoneX
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Hi,
I think I only one chapter from this novella. I think, yes, it would be a great idea to expand it.
Even though I didn't follow the story, I could understand the theme and can imagine the struggles Gary went through. His mother's presence seems like it was a nice surprise.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
    thank you for stopping by to read and review. This novella is based on my hopes and dreams for my son who is currently dealing with an addiction. The expansion will have a few more twists and turns, but it will still end on a positive note,
    ~patty~
Comment from Heidi M
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Congratulations on completing your novella! Isn't that a wonderful feeling?
I'm glad you chose to give Gary a happy ending. So many who struggle don't have a happy ending so it's nice that you've offered hope to them and their loved ones through this story.
Nice job!

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
    Hi Heidi; thank you for such an encouraging review. Now that the novella is done, I have the backbone for my full blown novel, and it will have a bit more struggling within the chapters, but it will still have a happy ending. Your congratulations are wonderful to my ears, (eyes).
    ~patty~
Comment from Rasmine
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What a great novel!! You go for it! :D
I found one sentence that sounded awkward: "Fact is, I'm a lot nervous about leaving this place. I don't know if 'a lot nervous' is wrong. It just seems like 'a lot' should be 'more'--but you may have intended it to be this.
Good luck!! Make sure you open up with something that catches their eye--learned this the hard way. Beware of weather openings, i.e. 'It was a dark and stormy night.'

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
    thank you so much for your kind review. Gary's speech patterns are a bit different - he was nervous. I tried to give him his own voice. Thanks for the advice on getting published. I'm sure it will be a long hard road - I will just be happy to get the book into a final form.
    ~patty~
reply by Rasmine on 20-Apr-2017
    :)
    It would be an awe-inspiring movie!
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
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Dear patty (Mustangpatty1029) read you very well written story
Talk about holding my full attention you did it.

Yes, I wish you the vert best by getting your story published.

Gert

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
    Hi Gert; thank you for stopping by to read the last part of my novella. The outline I created for FanStory will serve as the backbone of my full novel which will simply be the same story, but with a lot more information. I purposely kept each chapter short for these postings, because it will get more 'reads,' if it is short and to the point.
    ~patty~