The Bard of Bel Air
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds"A homeless man sees more than people realize.
13 total reviews
Comment from GracieAnn
Mikey, hilarious-"Studies say that the nitrates in those things will kill you. Ohhhhh, I'm glad I'm not an Oscar Meyer Wiener...
Great suspense to the end of the shooting scene. Perhaps the head wound could set the Bard's mind straight or reset the brain. Stranger than fiction. Not sure you'd want to go much further. Good way to wind down. :0 GracieAnn
  |
Mikey, hilarious-"Studies say that the nitrates in those things will kill you. Ohhhhh, I'm glad I'm not an Oscar Meyer Wiener...
Great suspense to the end of the shooting scene. Perhaps the head wound could set the Bard's mind straight or reset the brain. Stranger than fiction. Not sure you'd want to go much further. Good way to wind down. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 25-May-2014
Comment from Nosha17
That was a marathon semi ending. Very exciting and well compiled. I think you have to go on a little more to tie everything up. Have you submitted your other book for publication and hope you are going to with this one. Great story. Faye
|
That was a marathon semi ending. Very exciting and well compiled. I think you have to go on a little more to tie everything up. Have you submitted your other book for publication and hope you are going to with this one. Great story. Faye
Comment Written 25-May-2014
Comment from CR Delport
When I start a book, I have a general idea of what I want to achieve in the story, and I always try to figure out how I want it to end. Once I have the ending, then I start writing the book and everything that happens leads up to the ending I had in mind. I know it doesn't always work out that way :)
|
When I start a book, I have a general idea of what I want to achieve in the story, and I always try to figure out how I want it to end. Once I have the ending, then I start writing the book and everything that happens leads up to the ending I had in mind. I know it doesn't always work out that way :)
Comment Written 25-May-2014
Comment from seaglass
You pulled all this action off with real skill and snuck in some unexpected drama; a Mexican standoff with a needle, gun, knife and hotdog. Now what to do? Bard's life is in your hands...only your muse decides.
 |
You pulled all this action off with real skill and snuck in some unexpected drama; a Mexican standoff with a needle, gun, knife and hotdog. Now what to do? Bard's life is in your hands...only your muse decides.
Comment Written 25-May-2014
Comment from ravenblack
Please, don't take offence, but overall I think you threw too many kitchen sinks into what should have been the Bard' s and Tenyaya' s story. The Bard and Tenyaya are a unique take on Monk and his revolving cast of assistants. This would have worked great as a more traditional murder mystery. What I mean by traditional is no Blackwater, A-Team espionage with the Chinese and biological weapons thrown in, but a cop and her off-th-wall informant/partner who does all the work in his own way.
reply by the author on 24-May-2014
|
Please, don't take offence, but overall I think you threw too many kitchen sinks into what should have been the Bard' s and Tenyaya' s story. The Bard and Tenyaya are a unique take on Monk and his revolving cast of assistants. This would have worked great as a more traditional murder mystery. What I mean by traditional is no Blackwater, A-Team espionage with the Chinese and biological weapons thrown in, but a cop and her off-th-wall informant/partner who does all the work in his own way.
Comment Written 24-May-2014
reply by the author on 24-May-2014
-
Not at all. I did reach a point where I just had to end this. It got too far off the track. I plan to come back to it after a little while and return to the original thrust of it which is as you describe. I'm not disappointed with this, but it wasn't where I intended to go. I have to watch my tendancy to throw crazy ideas out there. Hahaha. I jumped off a cliff here and had no choice but to land in the water and swim. But, I'm on shore now, drying off... Enough of that metaphor... mikey
Comment from country ranch writer
WILL THEY TAKE HIM OFF HIS MEDS AND TRY TO MAKE HIM RATIONAL WILL THEY GET HIS MEDICAL RECORDS FROM THE DEAD DOCTOR? WILL LUCY BE ABLE TO LOVE BARD FOR WHO HE IS THE WAY HE IS?
|
WILL THEY TAKE HIM OFF HIS MEDS AND TRY TO MAKE HIM RATIONAL WILL THEY GET HIS MEDICAL RECORDS FROM THE DEAD DOCTOR? WILL LUCY BE ABLE TO LOVE BARD FOR WHO HE IS THE WAY HE IS?
Comment Written 24-May-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This chapter makes a GREAT ending. STOP HERE! Don't do an anticlimax and ruin it. Just write a short EPILOGUE now to wrap up whatever you wish.
|
This chapter makes a GREAT ending. STOP HERE! Don't do an anticlimax and ruin it. Just write a short EPILOGUE now to wrap up whatever you wish.
Comment Written 24-May-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the end of the story. The Bard was the hero and he made it out alive. He was normal, for him. The Good doctor died. I looked that. I hold educated people to a higher standard than normal. I would love a sequel where Diamond and Ruby can shake up the rich society of Bel-Air. Great work.
|
I love the end of the story. The Bard was the hero and he made it out alive. He was normal, for him. The Good doctor died. I looked that. I hold educated people to a higher standard than normal. I would love a sequel where Diamond and Ruby can shake up the rich society of Bel-Air. Great work.
Comment Written 24-May-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
I don't think you should end it here. Though, WOW!!!!! That is one hell of an ending. Bravo! Tears!!! But, still a lot of story to tell. You did it once.. . Do it again. Winston must still have a larger bunker somewhere else. Hospital rscape? Trials should be fun with the Bard on the stand!!! Harpster is still dead as far as most of the world knows. Lilith must have a play to make. Lots of possibilities. You can always edit into two books. May as well keep going. This is one of your best chapters of everything you have written. Awesome! NG
|
I don't think you should end it here. Though, WOW!!!!! That is one hell of an ending. Bravo! Tears!!! But, still a lot of story to tell. You did it once.. . Do it again. Winston must still have a larger bunker somewhere else. Hospital rscape? Trials should be fun with the Bard on the stand!!! Harpster is still dead as far as most of the world knows. Lilith must have a play to make. Lots of possibilities. You can always edit into two books. May as well keep going. This is one of your best chapters of everything you have written. Awesome! NG
Comment Written 24-May-2014
Comment from Sankey
hehe good ending. I really don't think anything can be improved on. The baddies all got their dues ah what about Winston and Junior? I had a feeling the Bard was gonna come through. I thought the hit in his head probably didn't do too much damage hehe. Hey! NO SPAGS! Something wrong here!
|
hehe good ending. I really don't think anything can be improved on. The baddies all got their dues ah what about Winston and Junior? I had a feeling the Bard was gonna come through. I thought the hit in his head probably didn't do too much damage hehe. Hey! NO SPAGS! Something wrong here!
Comment Written 24-May-2014