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Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Downtown Eyes"
Song lyrics with music attached

9 total reviews 
Comment from FrannyG
Excellent
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Great lyrics, Mike; the picture very clearly created and with the appropriate atmosphere. 'cats' needs an apostrophe before the 's'. I love 'the alley's hard tongue roadway'. Great.

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
    oh, thank you. I thought that was pretty good myself. this is kind of a jazz thing. not my usual rock/pop stuff. I even whistle in it. ha! glad you liked it, mike
Comment from ravenblack
Excellent
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Does she take visa or MasterCard? Really like " the alley' s hard tongue roadway. And of course the cat with four on the floor. Check out tonulak if you have not. He's an awesome free verse poet and a musician who also writes songs.

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
    Yes, she did. I mean.... I heard someone say....well....you know.... they do now days I guess. This is one of my songs that I actually like. I have a few that have lyrics that stand on their own. A lot more where they don't!! glad you liked it. Will check out tonulak. sounds warrior like. cool. mike
Comment from cinderbella
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I'm still trying to catch up, but I have to give you six stars for this poem.
This is written extremely well, I can almost see that lady clicking her way down the street, and the encounter in the darkness. Doesn't take much for the pursuer to slink away with his tail between his legs. LOL I loved this.
The artwork is incredible. The color you used is perfect. :) Sandra

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
    so delighted by this wonderful review! I really liked this song and thought the lyrics were pretty good. I am so thrilled that you agree. you have totally made my week. thank you so very, very much, happy mike
Comment from krys123
Excellent
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Thank you very much for sharing these lyrics with fans, myself another reader/writer's. First of all, you know man who's been writing lyrics for over 45 years. I've had 3 songs published by big wedge music in Nashville. I've written over 45 songs and coal righted about 43. Under the big wedge music label and contracted with BMI. The first thing I saw in your lyrics was I was looking for a hook which your hook is very weak. I'd have to listen to rhythm of the song to determine that if it has a better hook. Otherwise and that it has redeeming qualities. Keep on trying and see if you can make a better hook. You have a good one and God bless.
AK

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
    Very astute of you. Indeed, there is no hook at all really. A nice poem I put to music. Kind of a jazz piece with a lot of minor7 chords and even a little whistling. hahaha! not for the hit parade! I have a few songs with lyrics decent enough to stand on their own. Of course, a lot more that don't!!! Sounds like you have had a wonderful musical career. Very impressive in a really rough and tumble business. My hat is off to you. regards and blessings, mike
Comment from pattipac
Excellent
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You scintillating poem is filled with color, fragrance, and sound that leads a hunter to his prey, and prey to the hunter at night, on the sultry downtown streets.

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
    almost sounds more exciting when you describe it! regards, mike
Comment from Cookie333
Excellent
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My first read through (without your notes) had me imagining two alley cats...that kind of feel. After reading your notes, I could definitely see him speeding off and her continuing on her way to find another JOHN
Nicely done Mike,
thanks for the image(s)
karen

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
    Glad you liked it. One of the few songs of mine that I like. Also, one of the few that I thought the lyrics stood on their own without the fabulous tune and wicked piano and guitar riffs. Yeeeeoooowww!!!!!! mikey
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
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Wow we talking about a cat or a bloke or the bird he is casing?
I like the background. Bit id a "atmospheric" poem. Good work.
Spags I notice all the missed g's on verbs but I let the fact of no ('s) at the end of those go.
rhythm(e)m
cat(')s

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
    made those corrections. good eye for them and appreciated. always forget the (') . glad you caught it. this one is a song with kind of a jazz feel to it. mike
Comment from madhatter1977
Excellent
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Really good, picture, background and font colour all very neon like and the song doesn't disappoint in its depiction of a lady of the night and her snaky client. Great stuff my friend! Best wishes, Pete :)

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
    pretty good song too. glad you liked this one. thank you kindly, mike
Comment from CR Delport
Excellent
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With the right rhythm and beat, this can be a catchy little tune. It is well written and reads very nicely. I love that beautiful art work. Overall, great job.

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
    the song came out pretty well. kind of jazzy. I even whistle on it. ha! great review. thank you kindly, mike