First Love Yourself
Lessons learned at fourteen38 total reviews
Comment from angelajfrank
Wow that was real good short story. I real enjoyed reading that. When I was fourteen its was real fun because I had nothing to worry about in my life. You could walk down the street and didn't have to worry about anything.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2014
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Wow that was real good short story. I real enjoyed reading that. When I was fourteen its was real fun because I had nothing to worry about in my life. You could walk down the street and didn't have to worry about anything.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2014
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Thanks for circling back through the archives! Bill
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thank you
Comment from Barry1000
If this were written by a fourteen year-old boy, it would merit five stars. I am very tempted to give it five in any case. However, my guess is that it is the work of an adult attempting to use his tone and voice at fourteen with just a tiny bit lost in the translation. I believe I saw one minor error in usage and I think that the story could be told just a tad less stiffly. As a senior citizen I may be too far removed from this sort of experience to be any kind of judge. I do want my grandson to read it and I think the moral of the story is highly relevant and presented with a degree of skill. I was left feeling that a slightly more detailed account of the actual classroom encounter would have been more satisfying. Did the teacher think he was just being a wise-ass and did she not have the inclination to ferret out the significance of his choice, especially given the flexibility ostensibly built in to the assignment?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2013
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If this were written by a fourteen year-old boy, it would merit five stars. I am very tempted to give it five in any case. However, my guess is that it is the work of an adult attempting to use his tone and voice at fourteen with just a tiny bit lost in the translation. I believe I saw one minor error in usage and I think that the story could be told just a tad less stiffly. As a senior citizen I may be too far removed from this sort of experience to be any kind of judge. I do want my grandson to read it and I think the moral of the story is highly relevant and presented with a degree of skill. I was left feeling that a slightly more detailed account of the actual classroom encounter would have been more satisfying. Did the teacher think he was just being a wise-ass and did she not have the inclination to ferret out the significance of his choice, especially given the flexibility ostensibly built in to the assignment?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2013
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Thanks for reading
Comment from Liz Dunbee
Thanks Bill, for directing me to this lovely story. If only children were taught these lessons along with their normal lessons. I love this. You have told a wonderful story and I am glad I got to read it.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
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Thanks Bill, for directing me to this lovely story. If only children were taught these lessons along with their normal lessons. I love this. You have told a wonderful story and I am glad I got to read it.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
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Thanks for circling back Liz. It was just ironic that we both wrote posts with similar insight. Bill
Comment from MAMONIA
Congrats on this fabulous win! You really did a great
job and deserve all the kudos you get.
I loved the story. It had so much meaning and I wish
that a lot of teenagers would read this.
Can you publish it?
It sure beats lots that I've read.
Best of luck always, Bill.
Marie
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
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Congrats on this fabulous win! You really did a great
job and deserve all the kudos you get.
I loved the story. It had so much meaning and I wish
that a lot of teenagers would read this.
Can you publish it?
It sure beats lots that I've read.
Best of luck always, Bill.
Marie
Comment Written 24-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
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Thank you Marie for your kind feedback. I would love to have this published. Just have to find the right publication! Any suggestions? Bill
Comment from Samuel Dickens
I felt fearful and nervous for the young "you" being suddenly disapproved of by people you respected and admired. Especially when young, I think, our self image can be quite fragile. Reading on, I remembered that I, too, used to say those words, "I yam what I yam", and take a certain amount of solace in them. The ending made me quit holding my breath, and I smiled. If only all young fellows could survive being dumped by their girlfriends so well. Perhaps those who don't need to watch a few Popeye cartoons. It couldn't hurt. I enjoyed reading this very much.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
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I felt fearful and nervous for the young "you" being suddenly disapproved of by people you respected and admired. Especially when young, I think, our self image can be quite fragile. Reading on, I remembered that I, too, used to say those words, "I yam what I yam", and take a certain amount of solace in them. The ending made me quit holding my breath, and I smiled. If only all young fellows could survive being dumped by their girlfriends so well. Perhaps those who don't need to watch a few Popeye cartoons. It couldn't hurt. I enjoyed reading this very much.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
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Thank you very much for reading. I do appreciate it. Bill
Comment from Rosemary Rains
Excellent story, I can see why it won the contest. We all need to remember that we are what we are, and need to be comfortable in our own skin. Often that doesn't happen at all and often not until most of our life is over.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Excellent story, I can see why it won the contest. We all need to remember that we are what we are, and need to be comfortable in our own skin. Often that doesn't happen at all and often not until most of our life is over.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Rosemary - thank you so much for your kind feedback and the compliement of stars! I appreciate both. Bill
Comment from debskatz
Hi bhogg,
A well-deserved win! I very much enjoyed this story of the lesson learned at fourteen. It's terrific you learned it at so young an age. Most of us don't get that till much later in life.
Thanks for sharing with us & again, CONGRATULATIONS!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Hi bhogg,
A well-deserved win! I very much enjoyed this story of the lesson learned at fourteen. It's terrific you learned it at so young an age. Most of us don't get that till much later in life.
Thanks for sharing with us & again, CONGRATULATIONS!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 23-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Deb - your feedback is wonderful. Thank yoo so much for reading and your kind and generous rating. Bill
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
Congratulations on this winning of this contest. I just read your piece and it is in deed a winner. I would recommend it for something like Children's Highlight Magazine or even a teen Sunday School paper. Great job. God loves you and I do too.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Congratulations on this winning of this contest. I just read your piece and it is in deed a winner. I would recommend it for something like Children's Highlight Magazine or even a teen Sunday School paper. Great job. God loves you and I do too.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Evelyn - I'm always smiling when you stop by. I have it out to the "Chicken Soup" folks, but much appreciate your suggestions! Bill
Comment from RPFoster
Bravo! This is an excellent account of a time in your life, I could not stop reading. I also entered this contest and I will tell you, I don't mind not winning after reading the winning entry. Well done.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Bravo! This is an excellent account of a time in your life, I could not stop reading. I also entered this contest and I will tell you, I don't mind not winning after reading the winning entry. Well done.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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What a wonderful comment. I'm going to read your story right after this! Warm regards, Bill
Comment from samandlancelot
BHogg,
Congratulations on your win!
I enjoyed your little trip to the Principal's office and the wonderful discovery you made about your life and Popeye's.
Since this is a non-fiction contest, I assume you listed it as fiction in error. You may want to change your category.
Looking up, I timidly replied, "I didn't mean too." (to)
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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BHogg,
Congratulations on your win!
I enjoyed your little trip to the Principal's office and the wonderful discovery you made about your life and Popeye's.
Since this is a non-fiction contest, I assume you listed it as fiction in error. You may want to change your category.
Looking up, I timidly replied, "I didn't mean too." (to)
Comment Written 22-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Thanks for reading and your spot. Yes, non-fiction. Those two's always get me in trouble. Any easy advice? Warm regards, Bill
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If you can replace "too" with "also," then "too" is the correct word. If "also" doesn't fit, then "to" is correct.
Sally likes apple pie, and I like apple pie, too. (I like apple pie, also).
Sally went to the market to get some apples to make a pie. (Sally went also the market also get some apples also make a pie. In each occurrence of "to," the replacement of "also" doesn't work, which indicates "to" is the right word.
I hope this helps.
Patricia
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Thank you very much! I will remember this. Bill