Veil of Secrets
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Veil of Secrets - Chap 10"Mystery/Crime and Ghosts
11 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Sorry to hear you are sick. Your writing is excellent, and the chapter an engrossing one. They were lucky to get away in time before the cops arrived. Hope Phil pulls through!!
Wendy
Edit: confronted him/ (needs a full stop not forward dash)
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Sorry to hear you are sick. Your writing is excellent, and the chapter an engrossing one. They were lucky to get away in time before the cops arrived. Hope Phil pulls through!!
Wendy
Edit: confronted him/ (needs a full stop not forward dash)
Comment Written 18-Jan-2025
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
Carol.
Good to see you back my friend. This story is coming along. It appears Donatelli has his hands full again chasing bad guys. I hope the lawyer lives.
Well done my friend
Cecilia
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Carol.
Good to see you back my friend. This story is coming along. It appears Donatelli has his hands full again chasing bad guys. I hope the lawyer lives.
Well done my friend
Cecilia
Comment Written 18-Jan-2025
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You are remarkable for someone under the weather. I didn't find a single error, although I get so deep into reading the story I could have missed something. Phil was so upset about Althea's son he tried to convince her to call the police, but, of course, she can't. Then Phil is trying to save his own life as he is attacked and some of his papers about Althea were taken. You get well soon, you're in my prayers.
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You are remarkable for someone under the weather. I didn't find a single error, although I get so deep into reading the story I could have missed something. Phil was so upset about Althea's son he tried to convince her to call the police, but, of course, she can't. Then Phil is trying to save his own life as he is attacked and some of his papers about Althea were taken. You get well soon, you're in my prayers.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2025
Comment from LJbutterfly
A lot happens in all of your chapters. Like the others, this chapter is filled with new information and action. You skillfully arouse the emotions of the reader. An example is...Eleanor tells Donnatelli there will be a car accident. As we read an SUV is slamming into Henderson's car, we feel anxious for Donnatelli to arrive. Great writing that generates feelings.
We missed you. I'm glad you're back, but now you have a big mess to straighten out with these characters. Looking forward to reading how you do it.
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A lot happens in all of your chapters. Like the others, this chapter is filled with new information and action. You skillfully arouse the emotions of the reader. An example is...Eleanor tells Donnatelli there will be a car accident. As we read an SUV is slamming into Henderson's car, we feel anxious for Donnatelli to arrive. Great writing that generates feelings.
We missed you. I'm glad you're back, but now you have a big mess to straighten out with these characters. Looking forward to reading how you do it.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2025
Comment from Ric Myworld
This is the perfect example of people willing to do anything to protect their interests, and I mean anything. But I know the writer, and she's never going to let that happen. :-) Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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This is the perfect example of people willing to do anything to protect their interests, and I mean anything. But I know the writer, and she's never going to let that happen. :-) Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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I don't know if it's because the writer has been so sick or if she's just getting old, but I've had second thoughts about this story in the last few days. It has gotten much darker than I intended and now there's no way out but either give it the boot or plod through the mess. Knowing me...I'll keep plodding just because I hate to let the bad guys win. Thanks so much for always being so supportive.
Hugs, Carol
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LOL. I have no doubt you'll figure a way out of the maze. Your ability to negotiate and alter paths is the key to your successes. :-) Hugs back at you! Ric
Comment from Carol Clark2
Grayson seems like he's pure evil, having Phil run off the road. I'm glad Eleanor 'saw' the accident and warned Donatelli it was going to happen. This chapter is action-packed. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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Grayson seems like he's pure evil, having Phil run off the road. I'm glad Eleanor 'saw' the accident and warned Donatelli it was going to happen. This chapter is action-packed. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 17-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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Thanks so much Carol. I'm having second thoughts about this book because it's gotten far more evil than I had intended and now there's no way out but to finish or give the whole thing the boot. I've been so sick the last few days and now I am so far behind and my brain is friend. Thanks for reading and supporting me.
Hugs, Carol
Hope you are feeling better.
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I'm sorry you've been sick. Prayers for healing and for wisdom about your book.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Hello, my friend, I hope you'll feel better soon. I love this chapter, and you managed to keep me on my toes again:) I hope Phil can make it and Althea gets her son back.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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Hello, my friend, I hope you'll feel better soon. I love this chapter, and you managed to keep me on my toes again:) I hope Phil can make it and Althea gets her son back.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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Hey, Iza. Nice to see you stopping by and jumpting into the middle of a mess... ghosts and everything. It's been a rough few days but fingers crossed it gets better soon.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from patcelaw
Your writing is always such a wonderful blessing when I listen to it being read to me. I wish you the very best with your writing. I also wish you a very wonderful weekend and may God bless you. Patricia.
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Your writing is always such a wonderful blessing when I listen to it being read to me. I wish you the very best with your writing. I also wish you a very wonderful weekend and may God bless you. Patricia.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2025
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this with us. I am guessing DeLuca is involved all of this, but I do believe that only scratches the surface. Matthew better keep Rebecca under lock and key.
but he didn't put much stock into it until he confronted him/ Even then, he dismissed him as a (him. Even)
"Damn it," he muttered, his gaze darting to the fading taillights of the fleeing vehicles.
He could hear the approach of more sirens, but he wasn't waiting. "Sorry, DeLuca. Gotta learn to drive faster." (This confused me. I wasn't sure who said it or did two people say it?)
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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Thank you for sharing this with us. I am guessing DeLuca is involved all of this, but I do believe that only scratches the surface. Matthew better keep Rebecca under lock and key.
but he didn't put much stock into it until he confronted him/ Even then, he dismissed him as a (him. Even)
"Damn it," he muttered, his gaze darting to the fading taillights of the fleeing vehicles.
He could hear the approach of more sirens, but he wasn't waiting. "Sorry, DeLuca. Gotta learn to drive faster." (This confused me. I wasn't sure who said it or did two people say it?)
Comment Written 17-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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DeLuca, the other detective, was following in his own car. It was meant to be Donatelli muttering to himself why he couldn't wait for him.... the only person at the scene besides Phil in the car is Donatelli. I take it that it didn't come out very clear.
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I didn't get that, maybe it's just me.
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I'll look at it again...I want to make sure it is clear. Thanks!
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Does this make it any clearer....."Damn it," he muttered, his gaze darting to the fading taillights of the fleeing vehicles and then to the tracks of Phil's car before it went over the cliff. He could hear the approach of more sirens, but he wasn't waiting for the others. "Sorry, DeLuca. You gotta learn to drive faster if you want to keep up with me."
Comment from Tim Margetts
Your proofing is forgiven, a sick bed is no place to decide if a comma or a full stop belongs in this place or that.
This is an excellent Chapter, Carol.
Get better and keep writing.
Tim x
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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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Your proofing is forgiven, a sick bed is no place to decide if a comma or a full stop belongs in this place or that.
This is an excellent Chapter, Carol.
Get better and keep writing.
Tim x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
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Thanks, Tim. I am struggling to write the short story now, but I think that will be it for me. I am so far behind on reviews it's not funny...but it can't be helped. Appreciate the support.
Smiles, Carol
