Reviews from

Willing Hearts

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Willing Hearts Chapter 5 B"
Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?

32 total reviews 
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You have good ways to show her the disdain for him. You are using great descriptive words on the reader can follow till she softens. I hope this isn't a foreshadowing: "When Sami didn't answer, he said, "I want to keep the bug on it until you leave here. While here you should be safe, but if something goes wrong all you need to do is yell 'help' and somebody will be available. It also has a GPS tracker." I swear you must have been a detective in a past life. This is so excellent It's so educated so real It's as if I'm watching it on television. A+

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
    My husband was a forensic science expert for the Army. I picked a few things up. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Liz O'Neill on 12-Jun-2024
    It's just puzzling to me how excellent it is. It's professional It's real . I swear You must have been a detective in a past life You know too much, Oh my gosh you are good. I am thoroughly enjoying this story. I will be back for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
    I appreciate you./
reply by Liz O'Neill on 12-Jun-2024
    ***Big smile***
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm way behind with this and hadn't realised how far. COVID has been slowing me down a bit.
Really snappy writing style here with the short, punchy sentences keeping the action rolling. I thought you did a great job of the conversation that came through the bug. Considering we could only hear one side of it, it held together really well.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
    I will pray for your recovery. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara. Your story is still moving forward at a comfortable pace. There's plenty of action and it is engaging. You characters are well developed and relatable. I'm glad to see it on a Sunday, lol.
Love it,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
    Thank you for this encouraging review.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I think this storyline so far is a bit far-fetched but I have to say the interaction between your two main characters is in keeping with your established formula for your male and female leads. Not an insult, but that is something you may want to think about.


 Comment Written 09-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
    Thank you for being consistent. Most reviewers are commenting that this way different from my usual posts.
reply by lancellot on 10-Mar-2024
    Unfortunately, I don't think most reviewers read our entire posts. So many times when a post is over six hundred words, and the payout is high, we get generic comments that makes me wonder. I'd rather they say, 'I hate this character did this or that.' so I know they read it.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Poor Noah can't get anything right. But at least Sami is starting to appreciate the danger she had put herself in. I can understand her thinking awful that Noah had 'bought' her, and the added part of moving her mail and the tracking in her fitbit. I'd feel the same as her. Well done, Barbara. This chapter is shaping up really well. Warmest hugs, Sandra xx

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Daylily
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an excellent follow-up chapter. I did not find anything to suggest.

I like your author's note which suggests you did some research on Texas laws in order to make sure your situation with the sawed-off shotgun was plausible. Very nice!

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. Thank you for stating that, I had another reviewer said those notes weren't necessary.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Why does Sammi hate Noah so much? He is doing his job and he is trying to protect her. She is no match with the big t and human traffickers. Well, it's a dangerous situation and Sami is endangered.... I hope she will be okay and they find Myra.

Good job with character development and engaging plot. Well done!

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
    Sami feels guilty because she didn't get to Myra in time and is taking it out on Noah. I think she'll eventually come around. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm glad that Sami and Noah finally came to a tenuous understanding. This is definitely an exciting story. I like Noah's interaction with his team members. He's firm but I cam tell their safety is his utmost priority. I am really enjoying this. Gretchen

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

There needs to be " placed after the word "hurt" in the sentence "could have gotten hurt.

Can not fault Sami for being ticked off at Noah. He humiliated her, she got hurt because of his carelessness, and he only half-apologized for his antics.

By having her car impounded, and her mail confiscated, understandable Sami would feel like she is now Noah's "private property."

At first you indicate Sami refused to help Noah with the password for Myra's phone. Then, you said she did so by entering "10-13-22" into the phone. Seemed a tad confusing why Sami would immediately help Noah after first refusing to do so?

Plenty of heated and tense action between Matt and Chen.

Outside of that scene there was not much more occurring in this chapter except Sami and Noah are obviously not bosom buddies and life-long pals. Sami only seems to be willing to go so far to assist Noah. Somehow, not sure how far he would go to aid Sami.

May have left the notes about sawed-off shotguns in Texas for some sort of dialogue exchange between Noah and Matt.

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
    Sami helped with the password because, it was a way of helping Myra. Thank you for the kind review. I added more after 'hurt'. I always appreciate the helpe.
Comment from Sanku
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I hated that piece of dialogue,"i want my bitch' . With that one line you have succeeded to bring out Chen's obnoxious nature .Another great chapter and the story is moving very well. I amsure Sami will overcome her antagonism to Noah.

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
    I rarely swear in my posts, but I felt Chen would and I wanted to make it authentic. Thank you for the encouragement.