Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Exceptional

This is an amusing and well-rhymed poem. You have also given the reason for the demotion and made Pluto into a character that a kid might remember. Very impressive, and it isn't about golf.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2023

Hey, great idea, Carol. I'll have to write another poem where he takes up golf!

Thanks for the great review and the 6 stars!

Comment from shelley kaye

Excellent

i love pluto - it's my favourite of all the planets
it's very mysterious (like me lol)

this was a great story poem!
hope part two will be happier for pluto

thank you for sharing

shelley :)

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2023

Thank you, Shelley. In general, I love happy endings, so we'll see on Sunday when I post Part 2.

Comment from Chrissy710

Excellent

Hi Jim
A fun informative poem and notes for Pluto loved the reference to the old gas bags lol
Will he rise up or slink away I await the answer
Cheers Chris

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2023

Thanks, Chris. Any opinion about which course of action he will take? Find out on Sunday.

Comment from PoemsOfDD

Excellent

I like how you have personified Pluto with this well written story poem. This is an intelligent and informative piece that is framed in cleverly rhymed humour. I also found the author's notes very interesting - especially 170 Plutos can fit inside Earth. This was a great read. Thank you.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2023

Thanks for the great review, Diana.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

This is a very funny write and also informative and would do well in a children's book Jim. Well rhymed and metered and I laughed my socks off at this funny read, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2023

Thanks so much, Dolly. Maybe it would do well as a children's book. Let me know again what you think after part 2 comes out next week.
I would have to get some good illustrations to accompany it. My daughter and her boyfriend come to mind, as they are both creative in that way. I will think about it.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

This is cute and incredibly creative. I enjoyed reading and smiled as I read. I loved it. I can't wait for part two. I can't find any way to improve this poem. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2023

You're so kind. Thank you Barbara. Part 2 will be out next week.

Comment from Jesse James Doty

Excellent

This is fun, clever, and informational as well. I had a good laugh at the way you poked fun at this dwarf planet. And for what it is worth I had some knowledge of this so-called planet. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face this early in the morning!
Jesse

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2023

Hey, you're welcome, Jesse. Thanks for the great review. Is astronomy a hobby perhaps?

reply by Jesse James Doty on 05-Apr-2023

My father was a meteorologist, and he taught me about astronomy, as well. I had a lot of good times looking at the stars and planets through his telescope!
Jesse

reply by the author on 05-Apr-2023

That's cool. When my kids were little, we used to take them to an observatory on the campus of Michigan State University (we lived in the next town). They would occasionally have nights when it was open to the public and would let us look through their giant telescope. That was always fun.

reply by Jesse James Doty on 05-Apr-2023

Yes, that sounds like our family. We used to go to the Los Angeles Observatory and look through its mighty telescope, as well.
Jesse

Comment from Sanku

Exceptional

You have given a lot of astronomical facts here .Thanks a lot .I loved the way you personified the dwarf planet and created a story. brilliant imagination! I am waiting for part 2.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2023

Thanks so much, Sanku for the good review and the 6-stars. Much appreciated. Part 2 will be out next week.

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Good thought process, Jim. A panel of planets voted poor Pluto out!

Now he seeks revenge. We'll have to wait on part two in order to find out if justice will be served.

The cartoon photo cracked me up.
John

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2023

Ah, you don't know that he seeks revenge, but you're instincts are good! I guess you know how my mind works.

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

This has a nice jaunty metre with great rhymes and tells a story with real information provided with humour that makes is a fun read. Gas bags of course!

To my ear there seems to be a beat missing in these lines:

He was the biggest but not by too much

Why don't we vote to get rid of this jerk?

And scoffed at them all for being less dense.

Great job and I am looking forward to part 2.

Gloria

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2023

You've touched on one of my favorite subjects: meter. The basic meter I tried to keep throughout was:

dit (DA-dit-dit) (DA-dit-dit) (DA-dit-dit) DA

with a major variation also used in a number of lines:

(DA-dit-dit) (DA-dit-dit) (DA-dit-dit) DA

in which the initial dit is missing. I actually consider this variation as the "basic" scheme, with the line type most often used in the poem being this basic rhythm with a "grace note" in front if you are familiar with that musical term. The first two lines you mentioned in your review used this "basic" line type.

There is indeed a missing dit in the third line you mentioned: "And scoffed at them all for being less dense." It comes between "all" and "for" and asks the reader to supply the missing dit as a slight pause which I'll represent as "..." as follows:

dit (DA-dit-dit) (DA-...-dit) (DA-dit-dit) DA

You'll also note that a few lines have an additional "grace note" in front such as: "Of the folks in the Kuiper Belt, he was but one"

dit dit (DA-dit-dit) (DA-dit-dit) (DA-dit-dit) DA

I tried to keep variations like these last two to a minimum, but I feel that throwing a variation in here and there can add a little interest and keep it from sounding too monotonous.

To be honest, I really don't think about it too much in the initial writing and just have a basic meter in mind when I write a poem and let my inner sense of rhythm guide me. In editing it, though, I'm constantly tweaking a poem to improve the meter. As I said, a few variations are acceptable, as long as you don't overdo them.

As you can see, I put a lot of thought into meter, for I feel that good meter makes a poem so much more pleasurable to read or recite. You've got a good ear, Gloria, for picking up on the metric differences in lines. I hope they weren't too distracting. Jim