The Challenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Challenge, Act I, Scene 2"Young Man Has Doubts About Becoming a Priest
38 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
I'm interested to know the rest of the story, the girls' slumber party.
I don't see Phillip getting much sleep in Marcia's bedroom. Barbara, for one, will be sneaking in there first chance she gets. She's a hot number by the sounds of it. Marcia, on the other hand, has a definite crush on the young football player/future priest. But I don't think priests are allowed to marry... is that still the Catholic way? Does Marcia think she can turn Phillip's head at this late date? Barbara would love to commit sexual misconduct with him.
If I put myself in Phillip's shoes back in the day, I would have gone home. I surely wouldn't have slept in Marcia's bed. That would have been ultra uncomfortable, especially with 7 young women outside the door.
Well written, Jay! I'm wondering where you're going with this walk down memory lane.
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2021
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Hi Jay,
I'm interested to know the rest of the story, the girls' slumber party.
I don't see Phillip getting much sleep in Marcia's bedroom. Barbara, for one, will be sneaking in there first chance she gets. She's a hot number by the sounds of it. Marcia, on the other hand, has a definite crush on the young football player/future priest. But I don't think priests are allowed to marry... is that still the Catholic way? Does Marcia think she can turn Phillip's head at this late date? Barbara would love to commit sexual misconduct with him.
If I put myself in Phillip's shoes back in the day, I would have gone home. I surely wouldn't have slept in Marcia's bed. That would have been ultra uncomfortable, especially with 7 young women outside the door.
Well written, Jay! I'm wondering where you're going with this walk down memory lane.
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 20-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2021
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You'll get to hear the rest of the story in 55 minutes.
Priests were definitely not allowed to marry in the 50s. I understand the Catholic church has relaxed its restrictions of late. But it's still frowned upon.
Thanks, as usual, for your super review and the six stars.
Jay
Comment from Bill Schott
I agree this was a bit long, seeing it was totally dialogue and no movement. The dialogue was revealing though and opens up the characters motivations for reactions to what may happen next. How guys and gals are attracted to others and what is behind their interests and actions is out of the ordinary -- or just seems so.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2021
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I agree this was a bit long, seeing it was totally dialogue and no movement. The dialogue was revealing though and opens up the characters motivations for reactions to what may happen next. How guys and gals are attracted to others and what is behind their interests and actions is out of the ordinary -- or just seems so.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2021
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Thanks for your kind review, Bill, and your candid commentary. The only thing harder than writing a two-person dialogue in a scene is one of those with just one character in the middle of the room yammering.
Comment from nomi338
It is amazing to me how clueless some guys can be. My best friend seemed to be a chick magnet while I for the most part did not have a girlfriend for most of our teen years. I found out later that I could have surpassed him if I had only tried. I suffered from low self esteem, a gift from my mother who did not want me to be egotistical. She drummed into me how little I had to be proud of in the looks department. I actually took one of my best friends girl friend away from him but failed to capitalize because I could not believe that she would really want me.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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It is amazing to me how clueless some guys can be. My best friend seemed to be a chick magnet while I for the most part did not have a girlfriend for most of our teen years. I found out later that I could have surpassed him if I had only tried. I suffered from low self esteem, a gift from my mother who did not want me to be egotistical. She drummed into me how little I had to be proud of in the looks department. I actually took one of my best friends girl friend away from him but failed to capitalize because I could not believe that she would really want me.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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That is a sad story, Nolan. How I would have blossomed if I had a good sense of self-confidence. Then again, the old saw, "early ripe, early rot." We can't change what we were, but we can sure write about it. Thanks for reading my play. It will take an uncomfortable turn in a few scenes, and I may lose a few readers, but ... that's how we grow as writers, isn't it?
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Absolutely. Never change to gain fans. They will either love you or hate you. You however, are stuck with yourself no matter what.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
I am from a different country and not exposed to American high school times and the teenager's way of life. The only info I have gathered is from watching American movies! Which is not to say much! I enjoy the dialogue so skillfully scripted . You bring out the traits of the characters in that smart writing! There is always something new to learn for me. Interesting!
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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I am from a different country and not exposed to American high school times and the teenager's way of life. The only info I have gathered is from watching American movies! Which is not to say much! I enjoy the dialogue so skillfully scripted . You bring out the traits of the characters in that smart writing! There is always something new to learn for me. Interesting!
Comment Written 17-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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I'm glad you enjoyed this, Seshadri. Your six was a bonus! I'm thrilled to have you aboard.
Comment from Senyai
Hi Jay,
Wow, this Challenge Act 1 scene 2 is sooo interesting. You do dialogue better than any writer I know. These girls, Marcia and Barbara are typical of 50's girls. Poor Philip having to get his points across over crazy Barbara is something else. I am gathering that Phillip is tying up any "loose ends" from his life that he needs to resolve before being ordained as a priest ... to resolve any questions and doubts so he can go full speed ahead with a full heart into a lifelong commitment of the priesthood.
Such an interesting and entirely different story from the norm, Jay but one that holds the promise of this character to be tempted, tried to his core, embattled and laden with self doubt and humiliation as well as experiencing great joy from having a pure and giving heart.
I trust you, Jay to delve into Phillip and his brother, Nick's relationship as well as with his tiny frail mother, Margaret as you develop this acutely interesting start to this play.
A great beginning two scenes for sure!
Always,
Senyai
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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Hi Jay,
Wow, this Challenge Act 1 scene 2 is sooo interesting. You do dialogue better than any writer I know. These girls, Marcia and Barbara are typical of 50's girls. Poor Philip having to get his points across over crazy Barbara is something else. I am gathering that Phillip is tying up any "loose ends" from his life that he needs to resolve before being ordained as a priest ... to resolve any questions and doubts so he can go full speed ahead with a full heart into a lifelong commitment of the priesthood.
Such an interesting and entirely different story from the norm, Jay but one that holds the promise of this character to be tempted, tried to his core, embattled and laden with self doubt and humiliation as well as experiencing great joy from having a pure and giving heart.
I trust you, Jay to delve into Phillip and his brother, Nick's relationship as well as with his tiny frail mother, Margaret as you develop this acutely interesting start to this play.
A great beginning two scenes for sure!
Always,
Senyai
Comment Written 17-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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Girl, you sure know how to buffer a guy's confidence. I'm sure the scene after the next will raise some eyebrows, but I want to explore some thoughts and conventions I don't feel comfortable with. That's how we grow.
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I am stoked to read how you handle this tale. :))
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Three friends were just talking about their high school times together and remember what happened during the slumber party when their parents were in the New York City having much more fun.
I wonder what happened after. They all went to college in separate ways.
Well done.
I'm sorry that I didn't get a notice for this one.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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Three friends were just talking about their high school times together and remember what happened during the slumber party when their parents were in the New York City having much more fun.
I wonder what happened after. They all went to college in separate ways.
Well done.
I'm sorry that I didn't get a notice for this one.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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Thank you, Lisa. More will unfold in the following scene.
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Sure. I will look for it. I just posted a new one.
Comment from judiverse
Great contrast between Marcia and Barbara. I wonder if the high school girls wanted to embarrass Phillip. Maybe he isn't ready to be a priest. The fact that he invited Marcia and Barbara shows he's still having some issues. It's natural that as a teenager Phillip would feel confusion and self-doubt. Since Phillip's mother appears at the end, you might go ahead and include her in the cast. Lots of psychology to be considered in this. Sorry that I'm slow getting to reviewing your scripts, but I've had an overload of work to review. judi
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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Great contrast between Marcia and Barbara. I wonder if the high school girls wanted to embarrass Phillip. Maybe he isn't ready to be a priest. The fact that he invited Marcia and Barbara shows he's still having some issues. It's natural that as a teenager Phillip would feel confusion and self-doubt. Since Phillip's mother appears at the end, you might go ahead and include her in the cast. Lots of psychology to be considered in this. Sorry that I'm slow getting to reviewing your scripts, but I've had an overload of work to review. judi
Comment Written 16-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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I believe I did include Margaret in the cast (as an afterthought) but only to describe her as his mother. Thanks for reading and for your helpful comments. I always learn from you.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Now I see why this was posted number one on the welcome page!!
And number 1 for November as well! This hot juicy scene went on for what seemed like days, but it was well worth it! Football players often get injured so it was a surprising finish but not the only conclusion that would follow was a brief sensual escapade but it never happened and that is why I will pay attention to your future posts so that you will reach a final conclusion that will satisfy me and the others who read your posts!
Thank you for this flush of my needs until next time then.
Jesse
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Now I see why this was posted number one on the welcome page!!
And number 1 for November as well! This hot juicy scene went on for what seemed like days, but it was well worth it! Football players often get injured so it was a surprising finish but not the only conclusion that would follow was a brief sensual escapade but it never happened and that is why I will pay attention to your future posts so that you will reach a final conclusion that will satisfy me and the others who read your posts!
Thank you for this flush of my needs until next time then.
Jesse
Comment Written 16-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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You are very kind, Jesse. I'm thrilled that you took a chance with The Challenge. It is a challenge to write. I'll be entering some gray areas it will be exciting to explore, particularly in the scene after the next one. Hang in there ...
Comment from bob cullen
Your writing never disappoints and it leaves a hunger for more information. The poor guy, a priest in waiting being hunted, it seems by seven lusty young ladies. A young man's dream. This is really well written.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Your writing never disappoints and it leaves a hunger for more information. The poor guy, a priest in waiting being hunted, it seems by seven lusty young ladies. A young man's dream. This is really well written.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Hey, Bob. So good to see you again. I hope it won't be the last time you read this play. It's entering into some challenging areas. But if we don't write about those, what's the use of writing? Huh?
Comment from MFerg4084
This is my first review of a play. I found myself actually visualizing the action as I read through the dialog. Like reading a book and watching the movie in my head. Anytime you can invoke the imagery you have done well. Thanks for sharing. I liked it very much.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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This is my first review of a play. I found myself actually visualizing the action as I read through the dialog. Like reading a book and watching the movie in my head. Anytime you can invoke the imagery you have done well. Thanks for sharing. I liked it very much.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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You couldn't have given me a more encouraging review. I'm glad you took a chance on it and didn't leave without a good take-away.