Looking for Orion - 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Invasion - part 1"Brothers fight for faith ... and for their lives.
9 total reviews
Comment from roof35
Excellent, scary and I am praying along with him. This is very well written and you have me waiting to see how you are going to get him and his family out of this.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2020
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Excellent, scary and I am praying along with him. This is very well written and you have me waiting to see how you are going to get him and his family out of this.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2020
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I hate to sound wicked, but I'm glad you're anxious! lol. When the characters feel real to the reader, it's the sign it's going well. :)
Many thanks,
Deb
Comment from lyenochka
Oh NO!! You did such a great job building up to this inevitable showdown. The repeated nightmares prepared us for this encounter. I really liked:
"Panic colored his mother's whispered voice." It really brought in the panic in the dark.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
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Oh NO!! You did such a great job building up to this inevitable showdown. The repeated nightmares prepared us for this encounter. I really liked:
"Panic colored his mother's whispered voice." It really brought in the panic in the dark.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
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THank you, Helen. I'm working on enough reading today to geth the rest of this chapter up and then we're near the end. Whew! lol
I appreciate you reading and following the story and your encouragement throughout.
Blessings, sweet friend!
Deb
Comment from royowen
This is an excellent episode Deb, I knew it had to happen sooner or later, but I think if God's on one's side, He overcame ultimate evil once, I don't see why He can't do it again. I always think children need to safe and secure, my concern would be with them. You wrote an excellent episode here, great tension, feeling it through Cody
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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This is an excellent episode Deb, I knew it had to happen sooner or later, but I think if God's on one's side, He overcame ultimate evil once, I don't see why He can't do it again. I always think children need to safe and secure, my concern would be with them. You wrote an excellent episode here, great tension, feeling it through Cody
Comment Written 23-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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Thank you, Roy! Everyone else was like, 'oh, no! What's going to happen?' You are calmly saying, 'God is on his side. No worries.' And that'S what we all love about you!
Thank you and many blessings,
Deb
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Thank Deb, I had a tip you want God to win! Still exciting, and a little doubt is healthy, keeps one focussed.
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😉
Comment from AJ McCall
It looks like the grandsons did allow you, lol! The invasion, part 1??!! What's going to happen in part 2? Who's going to come if Lehman killed both FBI agents, took down the security system, and jammed the phone lines??! I hope Jack has the sense to come back an check on them.... oh, my gosh, I'm so worried for fictional characters! lol! I love the last line because I know my dad would do the same thing if someone had come into our house. Please post another chapter today Deb! I need to know what happens...
I did notice one typo:
"He's here," he breathed(. )voice shaking, "In the house."
(P.S, you've inspired me to start my own mystery novel. I might post a chapter soon.:)
Wish I had six stars!
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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It looks like the grandsons did allow you, lol! The invasion, part 1??!! What's going to happen in part 2? Who's going to come if Lehman killed both FBI agents, took down the security system, and jammed the phone lines??! I hope Jack has the sense to come back an check on them.... oh, my gosh, I'm so worried for fictional characters! lol! I love the last line because I know my dad would do the same thing if someone had come into our house. Please post another chapter today Deb! I need to know what happens...
I did notice one typo:
"He's here," he breathed(. )voice shaking, "In the house."
(P.S, you've inspired me to start my own mystery novel. I might post a chapter soon.:)
Wish I had six stars!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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If I've inspired you, I'm delighted! I cannot wait to read your manuscript.
I have the next bit of this chapter almost ready to go, but I'm afraid you won't find any resolution in it. But it will come. I have to feed Fanstory readers in nibbles, not gulps, remember. But I think this is the best I've written for this book and I"m pretty pleased with it. :)
That said, I do appreciate your find on the punctuation error! Not sure what my fingers are thinking sometimes. lol
Okay, I"m off to the races! My daughter is working tonight so I'm on duty with the kids and it's almost time for them to get home. I'll post late tonight, I promise. :)
Blessings, sweet friend,
Deb
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You're welcome! Well, resolution or not, I'm all for the story. And right, bits not gulps. :) Haha! Sometimes I have to slap my hand to get it under control, lol! Will be waiting Deb! :)
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
How on earth is he going to get out of this one? Jack's not there, no FBI sitting outside, no phone, what will he do? He's in agony when he moves. If I had a gun, I'd open a window and shoot outside to get anyones attention. Dear me, Debs, those children are there as well!! Don't take too long with the next part. If I had a six, this part would have it. Well done!! :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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How on earth is he going to get out of this one? Jack's not there, no FBI sitting outside, no phone, what will he do? He's in agony when he moves. If I had a gun, I'd open a window and shoot outside to get anyones attention. Dear me, Debs, those children are there as well!! Don't take too long with the next part. If I had a six, this part would have it. Well done!! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 23-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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Hi Sandra! Hope our day is going well. :) I'll post the next segment of this tonight - promise. But you won't find any more resolution there than here. But it will, I guarantee. :)
Blessings and thank you,
Debs
Comment from robyn corum
Deb,
Oh, girl. You are evil, aren't you? This was horrifying in the extreme. I didn't like Cody's conclusion - that this would be his last night alive. But I also appreciate the fact that he's willing to sacrifice all - including himself to save his family. That's why these characters are working so well with the reader - we can admire and appreciate them.
Great stuff - it was smart to leave this on a cliff-hanger, but I don't have to like it!
Now, hurry up and get the next bit posted.
Thanks!
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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Deb,
Oh, girl. You are evil, aren't you? This was horrifying in the extreme. I didn't like Cody's conclusion - that this would be his last night alive. But I also appreciate the fact that he's willing to sacrifice all - including himself to save his family. That's why these characters are working so well with the reader - we can admire and appreciate them.
Great stuff - it was smart to leave this on a cliff-hanger, but I don't have to like it!
Now, hurry up and get the next bit posted.
Thanks!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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Hi Robyn. Evil? Little ol' me? Whatever are you talking about? lol
I'll post totonight. It won't resolve tonight, but I'll put another bit out for you to read. :)
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
The excitement is building and the race is on. This is a marvelous story with a very exciting turn of events. I can hardly wait until the next post!
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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The excitement is building and the race is on. This is a marvelous story with a very exciting turn of events. I can hardly wait until the next post!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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thanks, Rebecca! I'm pleased that you enjoyed.
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This book chapter is an interesting read, the theme is expressed through balanced taletelling, backed by realistic characters of private investigator and police detective, fostered by realistic dialogues, progressive plot development, and dedicated ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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This book chapter is an interesting read, the theme is expressed through balanced taletelling, backed by realistic characters of private investigator and police detective, fostered by realistic dialogues, progressive plot development, and dedicated ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 23-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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Thank you, Alcreator!
Blessings,Deb
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Thanks for the new chapter, poor Cody his worse nightmare just walking in the house. Only God can save him now. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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Thanks for the new chapter, poor Cody his worse nightmare just walking in the house. Only God can save him now. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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I'll try to get that next segment up tonight, Iza. I'm so glad you enjoyed this one!
Blessings,
Deb