SimianSavant
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Rank: 123
gender ambiguity in Detroit
A baby gorilla was just born yesterday at the Detroit Zoo to parents Bandia (mommy gorilla) and Mshind (daddy gorilla). It's the first gorilla born there in the zoo's 96 year history. That's longer than Joe Biden and Willie Brown has been alive. Jimmy Carter was three years old when they started that zoo.
There's just one problem. They don't know what the gorilla's sex is yet.
This, beautiful people, is your chance to weigh in on a controversy of national importance. What should be done about the gorilla's gender?
RE: gender ambiguity in Detroit
Well that's damn good news and sure to make any primate contributors to this Forum very happy indeed.
There will of course be no gender confusion once zoo staff can get close enough to take a peek at 'the goods.' This from the Detroit Free Press:
"You can tell if you get a good look at ‘the goods’ to see," said Brightrall, "but the mom is so protective, and she holds the baby so close, and they’re both the same color (with) really dark, black fur, so it’s really hard to see. So as soon as we can get a good picture or a really close look when the baby is in a good spot, we’ll know. In the next couple weeks, I would assume."
What is perhaps more important from a political point of view is the terrible population implosion of gorillas at the Detroit Zoo. This is the only gorilla birth there in 100 years!!! JD Vance will be all over this like it's a fine Chippendale chaise longue and he will no doubt be joined by Elon Musk in bemoaning this devastatingly low birth rate.
They will of course demand that all female gorillas quit any outside work and return to the gorilla kitchen (and bedroom) where they belong. They will denounce childless Kamala for failing to inspire gorilla productivity. Elon in particular will try to get his own record of fatherhood with anyone who looks vaguely fertile displayed in prominent locations in the gorilla enclosure. Meanwhile his transgender daughter, Vivian, will provide photographic evidence on Twitter that Musk himself is half gorilla.
There are no abortion clinics at the zoo, but Trump will call for them to be closed anyway and then within the week will claim he never said that and demand that they be re-opened.
The zoo will probably conduct a contest to choose a name for the new baby. Other gorillas at the zoo have Swahili names so it is a strong possibility that Kamala or Kamala for President will top the voting.
My irrefutable online sources confirm that in Swahili Kamala means 'heels toward heaven' which may in itself provide a clue towards the wee ape's future sexual predilections if not his/her/its/any other possessive pronoun you like's actual gender.
GoWiSt
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RE: gender ambiguity in Detroit
LOL
My goodness, kiwi, the accuracy of your insight is uncanny!
You know Americans--I mean, apes--so well.
That baby gorilla's gender
Is between its legs--and tender.
Come boy or girl,
You peek, you hurl.
Now back to my blissful bender.
RE: gender ambiguity in Detroit
Well cheers to the little gorilla.
Tween those legs is a cleft or a pillar
And until we can see
You'll just have to be
The flavour best known as vanilla.
